What a Surprise..........Costco Sucks!

As I was making the old Buick ready for it's inspection today, I was wearing a T-shirt and jeans. I put my Blackberry into my back pocket, then sat down. When I took it out, the screen was gone. Just blank and nothing brought it back. I tried all the tricks I know, even rebooting, but no luck. So, after the Buick trio left and I knew my next stop would be Costco, because that's where I bought it and I bought it there because Costco is normally WONDERFUL about everything. Notice I said normally.

I was tired, since I'd gotten little sleep last night and was busy from the moment I awakened, but I knew I had to get phone service before the day was up. I sauntered into Costco and after being greeted by the usual guy that seems to remember me, I made it back to the Kiosk where they sell phones. I'd say I had to wait about 10 minutes as they finished up with customers, when Bobbie asked if he could help me. Bobbie is the manager there and he's got that cocky look that you'd like to wipe off his face rather aggressively. He was a punk. Those of you that are 45 and older know what I mean. He asked my what my problem was and I showed it to him. I handed him my paperwork that for some reason I actually had with me. I pointed out that I'd had this phone for 1 year and 10 days. Bobbie smiled and said I was S.O.L. Those words. I explained that when I bought it, it was explained to me that the warranty was good for 1 year and because I was buying it at Costco, they were doubling the warranty to two years. Bobbie matter of factly said, we don't do that anymore. I countered with, but you did do it then. Yeah, but we're not honoring it and your phone is 10 days past warranty, and pretty much goodbye. As crudely as he could, he said, "Why don't you take it across the parking lot to AT&T, maybe they'll feel sorry for you" and he turned away.

I learned long ago, not to try to reason with a punk. I internally growled and walked away. By the way, Dan, my salesman stood there like a statue as his punk boss called him a liar. As I walked towards the exit, I seemed to get angrier and madder, when I turned and headed for the management offices. The young girl called for a manager and I drew Ian. Tall, skinny and 22ish. I explained that I was a 25 year customer and I still have my Price Club card and I don't feel that I'm being treated fairly. He listened and said he agreed, but unfortunately there was nothing he could do. I just looked at him and explained that I did business with Costco BECAUSE I don't get treated this way. He said he'd go and ask his boss. I waited for about 15 more minutes while I was in the way of customers that were returning items they didn't want. In other words, I was in the way. Ian came back and reiterated that there was nothing he could do. I didn't get mad, I didn't use foul language and I didn't threaten to cancel my account, but I will.

Here's the issue. Not only do I now not own a functioning phone, but I have an additional year left on my contract, without a phone. Costco does not sell phones without contracts. If I buy a new phone, which I was willing to do, I had to add a line to my existing contract for about $70 a month. Then my bill would be around $200 a month. No fucking way!

I wandered over to AT&T across the parking lot and talked to two young guys and asked which was better with horror stories. They both said they were! I told my sad story and a guy named Chase (named after the bank) said he would make a call in my behalf. He talked to someone and after him begging on his knees, whoever he was talking to, agreed to honor my 1 year contract in spite of the fact that I was 10 days late. First I had to pass the "paid on time" test, which I did with flying colors. The worst part of the transaction was that I had to drive all the way to Paradise Valley Mall in rush hour traffic and there was a rollover accident stopping all cars for about 30 minutes.

I got home about 6 PM and the Lovely Jules had cooked a pork tenderloin with artichokes, topped with parmigiana cheese, diced cooked ham and roasted pine nuts. Not too shabby!

Summing up: I'm super-tired, with a new phone, a pile of cash, and a full belly!

The Car that Wouldn't Go Away, Went Away!

I broke down last night and placed my Buick on Craig's List. I'd heard from one of my friends that it's working great to sell older cars, plus it's free. After shelling over about $100 for an ad on AutoTrader, I certainly felt the price was right.

About an hour later, I got a call from a gentleman that claimed he had a 2 year old baby and needed a safe car. I suggested a Volvo, not a supercharged Buick. He seemed to be about 20 years old, claimed he lived near me and wanted to come over at 8AM to view the car. I laughed and told him, "Absolutely not"! I don't get up until after 9 these days and I'm certainly not interrupting my sleep for the "car that wouldn't go away".

In spite of praying to the best of my ability, sleep would not come. I did the tossing and turning routine until 3 AM, then took a pill. Still nothing that resembled sleep. Many strange thoughts and then one of my legs tried to learn a new dance, but no sleep for me. I kept thinking I have to be up no later than 9 to be ready for my customer. I saw 5 AM, then it was 8 and I laid in bed until 8:30, then ran for the shower. By 9 AM, I was showered, shaved and dressed, with a wave in my doo. I poured my first cup of coffee and started making ready for my client. I cleaned the windows on the old Buick, then sprayed about a quart of Fabreeze into the guts of the great beast. It looked and smelled good. So did I! Ten o'clock came and went and nothing. I got stood up! Neither the Buick or I were going to the dance..................until Judith came along!

Judith from Prescott was down here looking for a car for herself with her 40 year old daughter and 103 year old mother. What a trio! The phone rang about 12:30, as I sat there dejected. She asked all the questions that a REAL buyers asks. Most importantly, she asked if there were a bank close by to get the title notarized? She also said she would be a few minutes longer, as she needed to go to the bank and get ca$h! Yippeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cash!

The three generations rang the bell at about 1:30 and I greeted them graciously. Hell, knowing she brought cash, I would have had the event catered! They were as sweet as could be, we got Grandma a seat in front of the TV while daughter and Mom drove about 3 minutes and returned saying, "We'll take it"! No haggling or sniveling or weaseling or chiseling or (I know you're waiting for me to say it) Jewing me down! Just, I'll take it. I never heard 3 sweeter words in my life.

The youngest of the trio handed me some pretty fresh hundred dollar bills and I politely counted all 43 of them to make sure they didn't give me too much. (Yeah right). I helped Grandma off the couch and spotted that Grandma spotted, but didn't say anything. I'd say all together, it took them about 10 minutes to get situated and drive away before I could scream YEA!!!! At the top of my lung!

Automobile Update...

It's not like I'm not used to it. People giving you the impression that they're going to buy a car from you, then disappear into thin air, but not at this rate. It seems that the car that wouldn't leave the house is still at the house! I had 2 different sets of people commit to buying it, yet here it is. On good faith yesterday, I took the car that wouldn't leave the house, to the mechanic's place and spent an entire afternoon and about $150 getting the poor thing to not make the little noise it was making, that seemed to scare buyers away. It was the tensioner that was feeling rather tense and complaining ever so softly, sounding like a potential problem. So that and a new belt quieted her right down. As she was purring her way home, my phone rang and it was buyer number 1, calling to tell me that the credit union declined their loan (big surprise) Would YOU want to loan someone $4300 for a 14 year old car? Me neither.

So I went home with my new quiet car and waited for the chubby girl that promised me that she wanted it, to drop by with a deposit. By any chance did she go to your house, because she sure as hell didn't come here! I didn't even bother to call her and put her on the spot, what for? Today, not a single call pertaining to the old car, until about 5:30 when Chubs called and asked if I still had it. That she "for sure" wants it, but can't get a ride over to give me the deposit money. I suddenly became very quiet, polite and serious. After all, when someone wants to give me money these days, that's not only serious business, but very uncommon. She said she'd be over either today or tomorrow with the dough. Well, today's over, I guess it's tomorrow! I'm glad I'm retired.

It Took 6 Months but......

Was it a miracle? Did the stars line up, finally in the correct pattern? Did the deteriorating ozone eventually influence the mindset of mammals in the northern hemisphere? Today was a day to remember. A first class day!

First, when I awakened from an extended sleep this morning (10 AM), my phone showed 3 messages in voicemail. One from a friend that had me over for dinner last night and another from a perspective buyer of the "car that wouldn't leave the house" and thirdly from a lady that looked at said car and wanted to buy it! Yes, she and her husband want the Buick with the supercharged engine. But............they have to get a loan for the full amount from a third party, known as the credit union. My experience with credit unions declares that they really HATE loaning money on 14 year old cars and said buyer better have credit like GOLD!

It was about 4 PM, as I waited for a lady to show up that had called on Sunday afternoon and emailed last night. She worked at the ME (Medical Examiner's) office here in Phoenix and I was dying to ask her if her name was Kay Scapetta, but I digress. I walked across to the mailbox and grabbed the mail. As usual, a lot of stuff for LJ, a few things for her ex-husband, more things from people that once lived here and one lonely piece of mail for yours truly. It was an envelope from my arch enemy, Chase Bank. I even commented to LJ that Chase was doing their usual dance that they are required to do after showing me "no mercy" on the Ralph Lloyd Juriansz crooked dentist fiasco. Merely as a courtesy, did I even open the letter to read about how they were not going to resolve this issue in my favor.

The first paragraph was the typical opening thanking me for my phone call on March 1, 2011. Reading down it explained that they were changing their decision and crediting me back the $3500 since I supplied to them the necessary criteria, indicating that I was truly left at a disadvantage from the crooked dentist! I looked up and said to Julie, "I have to read this again", and I this time read it aloud to her. She looked at me and asked, "does that mean they're agreeing with you"? Yes, I think so!!! Suddenly I wished I either drank or smoked pot for some reason, because a celebration was surely in order.

Only God and the people involved in the conversation that occurred after I hung up will ever know how that happened, because there was no reason for me to think I'd done anything but piss everyone off when I ended our conversation on March 1st. Could it be that someone read my blog and came to my much needed rescue? Stranger things have happened.

You may not realize the impact that blogging has on certain things, but each time I bashed Qwest, I got immediate results. When I switched away from Cox, Cox contacted me from my blog. Every time I write out the name Ralph Lloyd Juriansz, the crooked dentist, perspective people that want to check out a new dentist, read what I have to say on the subject and perhaps one fellow patient (victim) might avoid the wrath of RALPH LLOYD JURIANSZ <------- the crooked dentist! For now, my efforts must concentrate on finding a new dentist, one that I actually do my homework on and marvel at how the Gods have changed things in my direction. Thank you.

Oh, the second set of ladies want the Buick too and the first ones to bring the money here wins!

Lovely Marcos Island in Florida...

I got an email from a friend a few days ago. He wanted to know if I wanted to go to Marcos Island with him for a mid-winter getaway. He told me how he'd been there with his wife about 2 weeks ago and it was a lovely romantic vacation. While in Florida, he also took his two young children to the theme parks. His kids are 19 and 17 year old boys. This is the same guy that I traveled to Florida with last year to visit our friend Barry, who has been stricken with cancer and in undergoing Chemo currently. As much as I'd like to see Barry, this is what the trip would entail. First he told me he would insist on separate rooms or a suit with 2 separate sleeping rooms, due to my occasional snoring. I tried to explain to him that he also snored and that's what to expect when you invited men to go on vacation with you.

We talked for about 30 minutes since I hadn't spoken with Bruce in quite a while. He had heart surgery about 9 months ago and of course I spoke with him several times around then, but he's been rather heard to tie down since. Suddenly he excused himself from the phone, as he said he had to pee and it was an emergency! Before I could even comment, he was gone for about 3 minutes. When he returned to the phone, he asked if I were still there, that he would have hung up if someone had done that to him. Hmm... just what I was thinking... I haven't had to deal with anything like that since my son was 5! Then he asked me if I were the same way, that suddenly you have to pee and there's no time to waste? I thought about it and noooo...... that's not one of my problems, hello! He continued to describe this romantic vacation for two heterosexual 65 year old men and I was getting more and more disenchanted when suddenly he announced that his son was calling and he'd call me back. He never did and I'm NOT packing!

The Old Timer's Gang...

The call came yesterday. It was Chuck Todd. Chuck is an old friend from yesteryear. I met him in 1975 when he was the used car manager at Courtesy Chevrolet. A 28 year old kid wandered in there and asked for the manager. I told him I was a recent transplant from Chicago and wanted to be a car dealer. Humble was the setting for the day. Chuck was and still is a towering man, standing about 6' 3" with a strong vocal and an even stronger IQ. He was intimidating to those who could be intimidated, but I made quick friends with him when he told me that he too was from Chicago. He sold me my first wholesale car, a 1973 Maverick, for $250. As I was pulling off of the lot, I heard a strong voice come over the PA system and it said, "Will the new Jewish kid from Chicago please come to the used car office"? With a reddened face, I complied. When I walked in, Chuck took the purchase order out of my hands and tore it into about 10 pieces and said, "In the event of a retail sale on a car, retail wins over wholesale every time". Then he explained that one of the salesman was writing a retail order on the car as he was wholesaling it to me, to come back another time and he'd sell me something else. I did and that began a 35 year relationship, both business and social.

The message that he left went like this. "Call me back, it's semi important." I did and he told me he was having lunch with Jerry Hendrickson and Dave Allen tomorrow, do I want to join them? Yeah, I did!!! I haven't seen those guys in over 20 years. I figured they were dead or hiding. These were 2 guys left over from my drinking and partying days. Immediately stories came to mind that had me laughing till my sides hurt. Jerry in particular had a drinking problem. Back then it was just funny though. He was married to a Mexican woman named Lupida. We all knew Lupida because she was always calling the bar and getting all pissed off at Jerry and hanging up on him. She always showed up to pick him up though, but not before reading him the riot act in front of everyone. When Jerry got too drunk, he'd call Lupida and she'd scream holy hell at him. One night, Jerry staggered to the pay phone at Dave's Bar and dialed his home number to alert Lupida to his condition. As he was waiting for her to answer, he sneezed. The sneeze caused his glasses to fall off of one ear and hang precariously, balancing on his nose. Then he sneezed again and his glasses went crashing to the floor, breaking both lenses. Just then, Lupida answered the phone and Jerry proceeded to ask her to pick him as he'd broken his glasses and can't drive. The entire bar broke up laughing, since Jerry clearly used the emergency of the moment to his advantage.

Another time, Jerry was clearly plastered to the point where he couldn't drive and Lupida would not pick him up. I had been drinking, but was clearly the more sober of the two. Jerry climbed into my car and I promised to drive him home. He was very adamant about asking me if I knew where he lived. He asked me about 5 different times and I assured him, I did since I'd driven him home many times in the past. As we started driving Jerry immediately passed out. As we drove along, I realized I was hungry, so I pulled into a McDonald's drive through. That's about when Jerry woke up and grabbed me screaming, You said you knew where I lived, I don't live here!!!!

Lunch was great, it was like an old timer's lunch meeting. When I walked in, the bartender said, "Hello Mr. Fisher" and his voice was familiar, but I had no ideas who he was. I tried buying some time, admitting that I almost didn't recognize him. The truth is, I didn't have a clue. That's when I realized it was young Pat, a kid who used to work at the old Polo Lounge, back then Pat was about 24. Pat was back working for the same guys at Eli's and his son, Pat Jr. was our waiter. His son was about 27. Pat was the guy that got me interested in Steven King books and I started with "The Stand". Thousands of old thoughts came back to all 4 of us and naturally the conversation went to who died and who was doing well. We had all about quit drinking and smoking by now, except Jerry who drank about 4 beers and held a cigarette and a lighter in his hands the entire 3 hours we talked. He only put them away long enough to eat his clam chowder, then took them out and wanted to excuse himself to go outside and smoke, but the conversation kept him involved.

Many years ago when I first moved to AZ, I worked with Dave. A neighbor and I opened a place on Cave Creek Rd called Cave Creek Sales. We sold cars and campers and did service work. Dave worked there when we bought it and he kind of came along with the property. He was a hillbilly from Iowa, but got pretty good at the car business and somehow made a good living. One night, my wife and I had a fight and I told her I wasn't coming home. Dave offered me a place to sleep on his couch, being a single man (and straight). When we got to his apartment in Sunnyslope, I noticed that the bathroom door was missing and only covered by a blanket. When I asked what happened to the bathroom door, he told me that he used it as a front door. so naturally I asked what happened to the front door and he said it was stolen! Humph, made perfectly good sense to me, but I still slept with one eye opened.

We sat there reminiscing for about 3 hours when it seemed like we'd all had enough. Jerry immediately lit his cigarette and choked on it. We all exchanged phone numbers and promised to get together again, but you know how that goes. Jerry took my number with enthusiasm, when he learned I had an active retail dealer's license. It seems he's got some trucks and nowhere to put them. Maybe we can all come out ahead?

Another Nail in my Coffin...

I got a phone call from Chase Bank again on Friday. It was from the same lady that I'd spoken to the third or fourth time I tried to get my dentist issue resolved. Here's what I attempted to do. I contacted the governing agency that governs over Chase Bank in hopes that someone of authority might come to my rescue and see the injustice that is taking place.

I refer to the $3500 that Chase Bank insists that I owe them to cover the amount they forwarded to Ralph Lloyd Juriansz in payment for a fraudulent dental diagnosis. He prescribed a dental plan for me, then skipped out with my money and really did poor work where he even did work. All of the teeth that he worked on, now need to be removed and replaced with false teeth, that by the way I'm avoiding by doing nothing. But nothing won't last long and eventually I'll lose all the teeth in question. Not what I had in mind when I handed over $3500 to this crook.

So when the crooked dentist skipped out, Chase reversed their decision and determined that I still owed the dough, but they did waive the interest which to me represents acknowledgement of guilt. Why would a bank forgo interest unless they thought I was right?

So I contact the governing agency, which by the way again, was not an easy task. No one wanted to claim ownership or responsibility for Chase. Finally after weeks of researching it, I found the correct party and sent a long typed letter, going into detail of the atrocity. What do you suppose they do after 3 weeks? They forward my letter to the same woman that I'd already spoken to, to resolve my issue. This woman, whose first name is Jessica, has strict instructions from her higher ups, to get rid of me. To do whatever it takes, short of waiving the owed amount to quiet me down. I called finally on Tuesday and our conversation goes something like this. First I ask her NOT to interrupt me while I'm speaking, because she likes to do that and let me at least finish my story. She says nothing, so I begin. At some point she blurts out that there was nothing saying the work done was inadequate by the replacement dentist I went to after the first one abandoned me. I asked her if she actually read the second dentist's letter that I had supplied to her. she said, yes. Then, as she was really reading it, she said he does say that the work performed by the previous dentist constituted malpractice BUT, he doesn't say how much it would cost to rectify it, which is what Chase uses for guidelines. I stop her and ask, "If I get a letter stating what it will cost to correct the errors, will you side in my favor?" NO, she says! I ask what I have to provide or do, to get their decision reversed and there was a long pause.............. Nothing she said, nothing will reverse our decision! She suggested I get an outside council to look at the case. I know from experience that that will cost a fortune and lawyers don't accept this type of case on a contingency. I then asked why we were having this discussion and she said she didn't know, but she has to resolve problem from unhappy customers. I hung up but might just do the entire thing again, but next time not answer her phone calls, so I'll just keep hanging on her books like the toothless parasite I represent to them... They were only the rear teeth that I would have used for chewing. I really didn't need them. Like hell!!!!