Left to my Own Devices...

"SOLD"

So here's what happened today. After sleeping an amazing 11 hours, I awakened to the shower making the noise that showers make, when it's not you using the shower. I looked at the time and it was 10 AM, precisely. I brushed my teeth and made a pot of coffee, when Julie came into the kitchen, said good morning and reminded me that I had promised to buy her a nice thank you breakfast. She really did break her neck, helping me orchestrate this move. A couple of eggs over easy was a low price to pay for her expertise.

As promised, we came home and I began the tedious task of making the pool table available for a game of pool. It currently had 35 years of my clothing laying upon it. That's kind of a funny way of describing the pile the movers created, but that's exactly what it was. 35 years of birthdays, and Christmas's and Halloweens and Valentine's Days. Plus tons of stuff I just bought for myself. Most of it hasn't been worn in years. Some were too big and most were too small. They all had to go! Without playing favorites, anything that had a pleat or never looked good or had a stain that wouldn't come out. Some things had never been worn, like the purple dress shirt and tie that some crazy woman gave me one year for my birthday or the tank top I bought once, just to talk to the cashier at a store. Out, you go!

Julie took off to go hiking and left me alone for the afternoon. It was a nice day. I enjoyed the solitude too. At about 12:15 my phone rang, something it hasn't done for a couple of days. It was a guy calling about my roll top desk. I explained that it was indeed still for sale, but I had already moved and it was tucked away in my storage locker. My storage locker turned out to be 5 minutes from where he lived and 15 from me. He was pleased to drive over. I was asking $200 for it and the money sounded good after paying the movers to help me. I arrived at the location right on time and he wasn't there. I called him and he assured me he was 5 minutes away still. Thankfully, he did show up in a 4 wheel drive pick up truck, always a good sign when you're selling furniture. I opened the sliding door and looked inside that mess and audibly announced the F word. The mother was buried deep inside in it's final resting place. Let's call my buyer Buck. Buck said it was not problem and began moving furniture to get to it. It was my 400 LB Oak wall unit that should have burned up in a fire, that gave him the most trouble, but it created desire on his part, to finally free the roll top desk. He did a bunch of hmmming and ummming and finally said, will ya take $150 cuz there's another one just like it for $125 and he actually showed me the ad that he had printed and sure as shit, there was one. Thinking fast, (something I seldom do anymore) I said, I should probably pay YOU a hundred just to take it. (threw him off balance) and I finished with a, $175 will take it though. He reached in his pocket and gave me the cash. (Don't try this at home).

We lifted the desk into his truck and he was gone. When I got back to the house, I looked for Paws to tell him of the sale, but he wanted nothing to do with me and I still had that lump on the pool table to deal with. So it was back to work, when suddenly Paws appeared from his closet where he lives in LJ's bedroom and he searched for her. When he didn't see her, and in spite of the fact that the sliding doors were both wide open, he stood there and peed where he stood, as if to say, I'll show her for leaving me with this jerk! Somehow, I felt like I was in trouble. I've got a lot of splaining to do when Lucy gets home!

Moving Day

Moving day brought a warning of an early arrival. The movers insisted upon arriving at 8 AM against my better judgement, but were determined to get me out of bed at the ungodly hour of 7 AM. I haven't seen 7 AM since I was a member of the work force. LJ phoned me promptly at 7, at my request, but I was already in the shower. I called her back and explained that everything was under control (or so I thought). That was about when the movers called to explain they were running late. 8:45 was now the estimated time of arrival. So much for an early start. My previous move went without a hitch, so I was more than pleased to use the same movers, but this duet were not as ambitious as the 2 guys last year.

Vince was the brains of the outfit and his sidekick was a rather plump boy of about 20 years of age, Kevin. I got to know more about Kevin than I ever planned on knowing, but he was one of those kids that wore his pants too low and his butt crack and I got way too familiar. Julie even remarked about it. They were slow, clumsy and not too creative. Vince decided to be the comedian and told me jokes at $75 an hour. Not one brought a legitimate laugh.

The Lovely Jules showed up about 9 AM and went on a donut run. Moving was stressful and it didn't help that the movers left 2 truck loads of my things at the old house when they announced they were ready to go to the storage locker, our first stop. I should have checked. They unloaded and once again Vince took the lead and showed Keven how a real mover works, on my ticket! Second stop. Julie's house and by now we were heading towards 2 PM. More unloading and more confusion. It was like trying to fit 20 LB of sand in a 10 LB bag. Kevin the klutz unloaded all of my clothes onto the pool table and the picture I took gives you a general idea of what it's like around here. My job tomorrow is to attempt to put all of those clothes into 2 little closets. I guess I'll be visiting Goodwill with a rather large donation.

Moving Eve...

On this eve of the day before moving, I realize that I've married women with less forethought than I've given this move. Is it my age or position in life that concerns me, or the fact that I'm stressing over selling and giving away half or better of my possessions. When a marriage breaks up, you lose half of your things. I'm losing my stuff up front and getting a Costco wife and I'm pretty sure that's not the same! I've been living alone for about 9 years now and living with the Lovely Jules is likely to shake things up a bit. That won't be a bad thing. So we both go forward, stressing the way that people that are used to having their own way do, but everything is going to be just fine because frankly, it just feels right.

As I picked up my ironing board and put it into LJ's truck that I've had all week, I knew she'd say something about her already having one, but what was I supposed to do with mine? When I got there, LJ helped me unload and when she got to the ironing board, she did just what I expected, almost word for word. I just explained it was for the garage sale! It will be fine, you'll see!

The Nigerian Project...

With all of my efforts on Craig's List, placing ads everyday and waiting for the phone to ring. Dealing with the people that text "Is your "Item" still for sale" and you reply yes and hear nothing in return, I only got one single call that amounted to anything and finally, 36 hours later they showed up. All six of them. It kind of went like this.

When I awakened Saturday morning, there was one missed call that didn't leave a message. About an hour later, I was sipping coffee and decided to call the anonymous caller and explain that I got a message that he'd called. He answered and I immediately identified him as a youthful Hispanic, about 22 years old. A demographic that I rather enjoy dealing with. To get rid of me, he said he'd call me in an hour when he's ready to come out and see the bedroom set I'd advertised. I had no expectation of ever hearing from him again. About 3 hours later, the kid called again asked for instructions on how to find me, as he and his lady friend were coming my way. I gave him instructions and he and his girl appeared about another hour later. He was a tall youthful African-American man, about 22 and very polite and she was a Caucasian girl that never pushed herself away from the table in time. Cool, my first inter-racial couple. They were both very pleasant and I enjoyed their company for a few minutes, when he announced that he was doing a little front work for his aunt that was the real buyer, but she would take his word for it, that everything was quite nice. My own experience with people, is that when they spend a lot of time explaining why they are going to come back another time, you NEVER see them again. Human nature. As much as I liked this couple, I never expected to see them again. They were supposed to call me about 7 PM when Auntie got home from work. The call never came. Today, at about 10 AM, I replaced my ads because that's what you have to do on Craig's List and was relaxing from my full week of packing. At about 1 PM, I got a call from an elderly woman explaining she was the aunt I had been waiting for, but she would call me later to tell me when she was coming. After the Bears/Green Bay game, I looked at the clock and thought of her and decided she wasn't coming. At about 5 PM, the 22 year old Nigerian lad that I mistook for Hispanic called and said they were about 30 minutes away.

He didn't say he wanted to look this time, but he expressed himself by saying he wanted to "pick up" the bedroom set, so I was busy emptying the drawers and stripping the sheets and bedspread. They arrived, sans the chubby girl, about 6 of them. All very nice, all from Nigeria and all as pleasant as could be. One lady, an MD expressed herself very well and seemed to be the family leader. She was the negotiator. I felt that to explain my background in used car sales to be counterproductive, so I picked up my transient cat and pet my way to non-negotiating. How in the world do you get tough with a humble man petting a kitten? They caved and paid the asking price, but I offered them my old 27 inch TV that I remember buying in 1987. It worked fine, but did have a hand crank.

About that time, another of the ladies announced that she just bought a house and it's completely empty. She made the mistake of asking me what else I might consider selling. I pointed out the solid Oak wall unit that I bought when Columbus discovered this great land and the Oak table with the four Oak chairs, the tan leather sofa that the dogs somehow spared. a rocking chair that I haven't sat in since Brad was a baby. Each item the lady counter offered on and after the first time, I realized it was just her game and I didn't have to come down a penny. I stood firm and she kept saying, "I'll take it"! It was fun!

Someone called a friend with a truck and I almost got them to take the cat, but they backed out at the last minute. The little lady that did all the buying is supposed to call me in the morning to make arrangements to pick up her stuff. I hope she calls, I really liked them.

Escapee Apprehended in Glendale Parking Lot...

Paws is the Dude on the right.

Today was a sort of exciting day for this man, who seems to have been moving all of his life. I arrived at LJ's house with a load of kitchen plants, the contents of my kitchen junk drawer and the flying bitch, a statue that has been on one plant shelf or another for the past 20 years. She now sits at the side of Julie's swimming pool looking anticipatory. When the Lovely Jules left my old house yesterday, she looked into my freezer and spotted 2 packages of frozen spare ribs that she swiftly carried out my door, looking back and saying we'll have ribs tomorrow! As the door slammed closed, I believe I yelled, "Okay", but she was already on her way home with one of my leftover car lot cars.

As I walked in her kitchen door, I distinctly smelled ribs cooking and found LJ sitting in our 78 degree sun chatting on the phone with Professor M. I didn't ask, but could tell by the smile on her face. Pawpaw was sunning himself in what will eventually be my room. Paws is about 20 years old and looks as old as any dog I've ever seen. He seems to have aged quite a bit in the last year or so and can just barely make it around the house. He wobbles and falls a lot, but still has the attitude of a young pup and still goes into the pool on a regular basis, even in the colder weather. I laugh as Julie tries to lift him out of the pool, the only part he can't quite do himself.

I unloaded and chatted when LJ got off the phone and listened to her events of the day. I was kind of doing my own thing when Julie came running into the garage asking if I'd seen Paws, he's gone! Gone, I said, where did he go? Dumb question. Julie was frantic looking everywhere. She leaves the service door from the garage into the backyard open a lot and I had the garage door open and when Paws saw his chance and no one was around, evidently he just sneaked out. LJ was freaking out! She hopped into her truck that I had just finished unloading and took off looking for him. Not knowing what else to do, I jumped into my car and drove off in the opposite direction to search. I got about 5 blocks and surmised that Paws probably couldn't make it any farther than that and I circled back. As I returned to the house, I saw Julie pulling into the driveway and yelled, "Did you find him"? She nodded yes and hopped out of her truck. She yelled that she found him down at the Safeway Shopping Center about a mile away, just laying on the sidewalk, watching traffic pass by. He evidently fell and couldn't get back up. That''s when I noticed that LJ was bleeding from her hand and leg. I asked what happened and how she got hurt. Looking up from lifting that 100 LB goofball out of her truck, she smiled and said, "He put up a fight"!

Someone Stole My Box-o-Booze!

If you've been reading this blog, then you're probably aware of the fact that I'm moving out of this dump. I rented it under duress while searching for an entire day for suitable accommodations. I picked it quickly, but never really liked the neighborhood or the house. I particularly disliked the home owner that I rented from. He was just one of those engineer types that had zero personality and a full beard. Big fat fucker too.

If you've been following my life in any possible way, you are probably aware of the fact that I'm a recovered alcoholic. I say "recovered" because I was left a shadow of my former self, lying on a hospital gurney, after open heart surgery. It was on that gurney that I decided to completely stop drinking alcoholic beverages in any way shape or form. It will be 6 years since I made that decision, in a few days, Jan. 23rd.

So when I moved into this dump, I took all of the alcoholic beverages in my house and put them in a cardboard box and stored them in the garage. It felt kind of nice knowing that the booze was out there, yet had no control over me in any way. Proof is that I never noticed when someone, without permission, entered my garage and stole my box-o-booze. Whoever took it, made an excellent choice, because including all of the junk I've stored in boxes, that was my most least proud possession. Actually, if I had found the box in question, my intention was to throw it all away anyhow, creating one box less to move.

So, to my most recent thief, I thank you!

Stop Thief !.!.!

If you're a lion tamer or a shark wrestler, chances are my day wasn't terribly interesting to you, but to me it was ............different. My plan was to get a new battery for my Toyota, as that's the car that LJ is most comfortable driving when I borrow her truck, which she has been gracious enough to loan me on a regular basis for my move. The battery in the Toyota is not really acting up, but it just doesn't seem perfect when you go to start it and I suspect that it's time is about up and I'd hate for it to crap out when LJ is using it.

So I headed over to Costco, remembering that the battery for my Corvette was only $54, so the battery for a Toyota ought to be about free! Well, a couple of years has passed since I'd bought the Corvette battery and I was surprised to see that the price for their number 3 rated battery was 69 smackeroos! But it wasn't all that easy. If you know the layout of Costco, you know that the batteries are way at the back of the store, just before the bakery section. When I got there, they were gone! All, just gone. With a puzzled look on my face, I approached an employee and inquired and he said they put them in the Tire Store up front. Naturally, only about 2 blocks away! As I trudge on forward to the front of the store, I realize that the tire section is in the very entrance to the store and it isn't accessible from anywhere but the entrance, which is not available to patrons that are already inside the confines of the store. With 2 loafs of bread in my cart, along with a new book by Nelson DeMille, I approach the woman that checks your membership card to ask permission to walk out of the store, to walk right back in, to go to the Tire Store. With a very serious look on her face I am denied! She explains that she is NOT allowed to permit anyone to do that. I tell her I'm gonna make a run for it and if she wants to, to call 911. With that, I bolted out the door and right back in and looked back at her and said, I warned you! With a rather soiled look on her face, she turned and continued checking membership cards. She'll NEVER mess with the Fish again!

After a rather messy installation, that I won't bore you with, I finally got the mother into the Toyota successfully. I called the Lovely Jules and warned her that I was coming. she told me that she cooked for me a few little things. She greeted me and I carried a few things in and LJ helped. Julie has not stopped eating in about 2 weeks and boasts a 126.9 weight. I suggested that we take our pictures now and a year from now, just to see how we got that way. She made us a couple of chicken and cheese Pinnini sandwiches and we watched a few minutes of a movie, before I made my leave. She handed me a large plastic bag that contained pasta a meatballs, a Caesar salad with home made croutons and dressing, complete with buttered garlic bread and some kind of apple cake that was to die for. I think I'm gonna like living with the Lovely Jules!