Monday, October 24, 2011

It's Nice to be Back...

I really haven't written anything in a very long time. I guess the "urge to tell" just didn't happen to me recently, however today it is different. A couple of things happened to bring back the urge.

First, I was planning a trip to Costco today, for 2 reasons. I was out of a lot of things and second, pushing a cart with 105 bottles of water in it (3 cases of 35) is damned good exercise, particularly when it takes me about an hour to do my route around the store. Thank goodness for the ladies that give you free refreshments at the end of each isle.  Here lies my problem.

Men are notorious for not following directions properly and refusing to accept help when lost. Women are not given the gift of directions period. Here is an example. I wanted to go to the Costco around Arrowhead Mall. So the first woman that I asked told me it was at 75th Avenue and Union Hills. I didn't want to sound argumentative so even though I KNEW it wasn't on either 75th Avenue OR Union Hills, I just said thanks and figured I'd somehow find it. So when I arrived at said intersection and there was not a Costco to be seen, I really wasn't surprised, but I knew I was in the right neighborhood. After driving around for about 5 miles, I called another woman that lives close by and she told me it was on the street just West of 75th. Avenue. I said then that would be 77th, correct? She affirmed my statement and finished with, "You can see Dillards from there, when you get there." Well, perfect. So when I see Dillard's, I'll be at Costco. Got it. We hung up. I followed her directions to the T, but there was no Costco to be seen.

I'd been to the Costco at 27th Avenue on several occasions and I was really only looking for the Arrowhead Costco because it was closer, but I've already made it much farther by getting pretty lost. So I headed to the Costco at 27th Ave by default. I refer to this Costco as the BAD Costco, because they don't offer some of the items I use on a monthly basis, such as rye bread and Swiss cheese, plus it's not set up like the other Costcos, so I'm kind of lost in there. I did  load my 105 bottles of water into my cart first thing, to insure a good work out. Later, I will visit a friendlier Costco to pick up those badly needed items.

The very worst dating service known to mankind is Chemistry.com! No, I never joined this service, it appeared  on my computer some time in 2004 when I was a member of Match.com and was a free perk, as it was just being launched in this lucrative dating market. It, to my knowledge, is owned and a spin off of Match.com. At some point over the years since becoming a member, I checked to see when my membership would expire and it said the year 2050. Unfortunately, I will expire much before that! Here's the deal. Since the year 2004, this misdirected website has been sending matches. People, mostly women that they feel I may be attracted to. What I asked for has really nothing to do with my matches. I asked for women between the ages of 50 and 63, within 50 miles of me, that have posted pictures. Not a lot to ask for. Quite reasonable, I thought. What I get are women who have no picture posted that live in Tucson, Flagstaff, Prescott, Cottonwood and Sedona, along with a few from Phoenix. Today was the last straw. Today they sent me Robert. A firefighter who is 6' 1" tall and of average weight looking for a mate that is from 5' 5" to 5' 8" and an average to curvy figure. Do you suppose they actually sent me a man??? Around 3 years ago, I started sending Chemistry.com to my spam folder and occasionally look at it there. After receiving Robert, I think that's where it will remain!

A few days ago, I spoke on the phone with a woman named Tanami. From her picture, she looked to be European. She had made me a favorite on the website and wrote to me to let me know that she found me interesting. I can't imagine what would be interesting about me, but she didn't know better, poor thing. She offered me her phone number and so what the hell, I called. We spoke for an hour and 47 minutes. She spoke for an hour and 46 minutes, me about one! Here is what I learned. Let's face it, you have to learn something being quiet for that long. I learned that she was born Bonnie Lee Manheim, a Jewish girl, but married a Middle Eastern man and moved to Jordan where she took up the Muslim religion and was beaten and abused for 21 years when she abandoned her husband and 4 children to come back to America and become a teacher. On her profile she listed that she was a teacher, but at this point she was a full time student. She then married another Middle Eastern man who similarly beat and abused her, but not for nearly as long. She divorced him and is currently hiding in Phoenix, Arizona from him. Being the shy non-aggressive type, I decided not to take a turn and deleted her number.