Saturday, November 27, 2010

Love at

I received a charming email from a 58 year old woman named Simone. She indicated she was interested in me and would I like to correspond with her. She had no picture posted, but I've actually had good luck with a couple of women that did not post pictures, if you want to call MJ and Dippy good luck? So I wrote to her explaining that being a man, I'm a very visual creature and could she send me a picture or two, to my email address. Being cautious, I gave her an email address that I no longer use. Above are the two pictures she sent. As you can see, she didn't want to be seen and I'll bet doughnut to door knobs, there's a pretty good reason for that.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Teaching My Turkey to Fly...

In case you didn't notice, yesterday was Thanksgiving and for that I was thankful. Gathered together with loved one, we consumed my 4 year old turkey. He was almost a family member, he had been with me so long. It's not like I was taking a chance by serving him up, as I checked with Google and they said it was safe to keep a frozen turkey indefinitely. We had plenty to eat in case Google was wrong, but they weren't. Our aged turkey, limped to the oven and with a little coaxing he entered after giving is last words, which consisted of NOOOOOOO!!!!! I assured him it was his destiny and with his missing head down, he entered, if only to warm up a bit after his 48 month stay in the freezer. During his long stay in the lower shelf of my freezer, I'd check on him from time to time and he'd be in there wearing an overcoat and ear muffs complaining about the constant cold.

After a week of preparation, LJ and I were celebrating together this year, almost an annual ritual. She cooked and prepared and I supervised. Cooking is not my forte'. Cleaning up afterwards is not either so she being well versed at both, was a welcomed guest. While here, she renovated my ailing computer, helped me rearrange furniture and created a meal fit for a king. We ate, we laughed, we got tired. She went home and I snoozed.

After a 30 minute nap, my triptophan wore off and I addressed the turkey issue, looking kind of thin (the turkey, not me). Jules took some and left some and asked me if she had cleaned off the turkey enough to throw out the carcass. With my final inspection, I said to just leave it, I may work on it a little later on. There he sat with a smirk on his face, taunting me. Did I want to strip his bones or toss him out. The garbage can was closer than the cutting board, so I gave him one last chance to learn to fly. I tossed him in the air and half expected him go airborne, when he sank miserably into the waiting trash can. Whoops, sorry, farewell and thanks! And a thank you to Julie for all her hard work!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Chase Bank Sucks!

It's no secret that Chase Bank did not get as big as it is using ethics. No, they practice a slimier type of business excelling in the areas that behoove them. In 1993 when my ex-wife died, she owed Chase Bank $7500. So naturally they contacted me, who had been divorced from her for 2 years at that point and insisted on payment. I simply explained that it was not my indebtedness and refused to pay it, but that didn't stop them. They attached her bill to me insisting I was on the account. I asked for a copy of my signature to prove it and they supplied a forgery. Anyone would agree that it was not my hand that wrote that name. It wasn't even close. I in fact had my own Chase account that is still in place 28 years later. I was required to come to their headquarters in Tempe and wait in the lobby while a messenger came down and asked me to sign my name ten times to prove the signature was not mine. I complied, but they still insisted it was me. They literally crippled my credit as a result of me not paying them the $7500, that by then had become $11,000 with interest. I hired a lawyer to represent me, but all he did was take my money with no results. I would guess I paid him in the area of $3000. Still being hounded day and night by collectors, as Chase had sold my alleged delinquent account to an aggressive third party collector. All of this took place in about 3 or 4 year span. Out of desperation, I contacted the Commission of U.S. Bankers and wrote a hand written letter to them explaining everything, Within 24 hours of them receiving my letter, my credit had been restored and no mention of an indebtedness to Chase bank for my former wife's debt was on my record. I as in the right and Chase Bank knew it.

Now it's 2010 and I'm having a dispute with Chase Bank over the corrupt dentist and I was pleased to say that the bank had sided with me. I boasted of it on this blog. I was in the right and knew it. I have since received notice that Dr. Lloyd, the crook, has refused to reimburse Chase Bank for the $3500. They have done an investigation on Dr. Lloyd and discovered that he is not to be collected from. What do you suppose they did today. I got a phone call from a Mr. Young and his sole reason for calling me, after I placed at least 3 phone calls to him that he refused to return in timely fashion, was to tell me that I now owed them the $3500 for dental work, plus interest! Naturally, I was outraged and he talked non-stop never allowing me a chance to speak as was witnessed by LJ who was here listening on. For me to speak, I had to speak louder than Young who was explaining that the dentist delivered the work he described, in spite of my supplying testimonial from reputable dentists, (2) that explained that what Dr. Lloyd was doing represented malpractice.

I asked to speak with Young's supervisor and he told me HE was the supervisor. I said he must be accountable to a superior and he told me to write a letter. I hung up. Next step, 3 on Your Side??? Any suggestions?

Monday, November 22, 2010

Today's Crisis...

Took a ride to CVS to pick up a prescription and afterwards, when I went to start my car, I heard that old familiar silence that should not be there. I SHOULD be hearing my starter turning my fly wheel to start my engine, but sadly that sound wasn't present. About a month ago I noticed that my battery looked awful, just full of corrosion, so I searched for my tool that cleans off terminals, however my search was terminal, so I put my jumper cables in my trunk and forgot about it. Out of sight, out of mind. Funny how you remember things with the right stimuli and todays stimuli was silence!

So I popped the hood and tried to remember my 35 years in the car business and how this sort of thing happened about everyday. No biggy. Although I suddenly felt alone with a broken down car and no one to call. One look at the battery and my answer was clear. All of the corrosion that I attempted to clean off, was back two fold. There was my problem. A light bulb lit over my head as I thought that the poor connection between the cable end and the terminal COULD be remedied with a better connection. I hoped that I could create a better connection by using the end of the jumpers as a clamp around the terminal. I put the jumper end on the terminal in question and suddenly felt like McGyver! I got back in the car and crossed my fingers as I turned the key and to my surprise, it started! I stuffed my 12' jumbers into a corner of the engine compartment and barely was able to close the hood. I drove home and pulled into my garage. I gave the key a test turn to see if it still started and silence again..............but I was home!

At this point of the story, I know everyone is dying to find out what I did next, but I'd like to take this time to acknowledge the mechanics of the world. What a crumby profession. My back is still screaming about the position it was forced to stand in when the various repairs were made and whatever your mechanic charges you is worth it, just because of the position that they have to stand in all day, doing their work.

Back to te job. I cut off the old cable end with a garden clipper and used a C-clamp to attach the amputee cable to the terminal and drove the car in question to Pep Boys and bought a cable end for $4. I then drove home and atteched the new cable end to the amputee cable creating a replacement. Then I simply connected the cable end to the old terminal and prayed. It worked! I might even buy a new battery tomorrow.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

All That for THAT?

In my entire 64 years, I've NEVER had this problem. I'm living in Nazi Germany! Since moving into this hell hole last January it's been nothing but a source of problems. It takes two different stimuli to create the horrible living conditions that I'm kind of stuck in temporarily. First, NEVER do business with an engineer. They suffer from tunnel vision and only see things in black and white, without any gray area. Second, HOA's need to be eliminated from this Earth immediately. How ever they dispose of these vermin is fine with me. I've never been a victim before and don't really care for it.

If you've been following my life in any capacity, you'll know that I've been at odds with the local HOA over a few weeds that had the nerve to come up while I was out of town. I suffered a $150 fine finding out that weeds were now MY problem. I make a daily concerted effort to personally pick out any weed that has the audacity to pop up upon natures command. That make me the enemy of nature. My landlord, a word that I've never had to use before, agrees with the HOA and actually started eviction proceedings when I balked about the $150. To keep the peace, I caved and paid the ridiculous fine.

This winter one of the scrawny rose bushes passed away. I held a small ceremony for it, nothing fancy, just a few friends and immediate family. I mourned it's remains whenever arriving home with a frown and a head shake. Sad.... Wouldn't you know it, I get notice from the "ASSOCIATION" Big Brother, that it is my responsibility to remove it's dead carcass. On the way back from the mailbox, I stop and remove it's dead ass and toss it into the dumpster. Today, I get yet another notice from the "ASSOCIATION" that it is time to remove AND replace the dead bush. I'm renting here. My body is leaving these premises soon and do they expect ME to replace the dead rose bush? Again, this is NOT my place. In a furry, I rip the letter into shreds and start planning my eviction because I have no intention of replacing bushes here.

Shortly after ripping up my letter, the phone rings and it's my friend Eugie. She calms me down and urges me to call the ASSOCIATION and ask what I'm expected to do. I hang up with her explaining that when I called last time, the woman read the letter back to me and said, "that's what to do". Basically useless. I called the ASSOCIATION and sure enough the same stupid woman answers and says to remove or replace the bush. I thank her for the vital information and compose an email to the direction of chaos at the ASSOCIATION. As I'm writing the first paragraph of this blog post with rage coming from my fingers, his reply arrives and I will paste his reply right here.

"I do apologize. The letter was sent to the wrong address. I have removed it for your records. Thank you and I am sorry for the inconvenience."

Have a great thanksgiving.
Roy Shithead

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

My Poor Sick Dentist and Stuff...

It appears that my victory was short lived with Chase Bank. A few days ago I got a packet in the mail from them indicating that the dentist in question, Dr. Lloyd is contesting their decision in my favor, by refusing to refund the money to Chase. No surprise to me. Included in this packet was a 4 page narrative from Dr. Lloyd proving without a doubt that he is a sociopath. He created a story for the bank that included me being HIV positive and also suffering from a nervous disorder. Then he went ahead and created a scenario that fit his actions and when addressing the fact that he just flat abandoned me, he claimed it was a misunderstanding, as his dental hygienist was out ill for 2 months and he left it at that. I've since created a rebuttal to his false accusations and also need to acquire letters from reputable dentists to support my claims. I asked my new dentist for a letter to that affect, but it's slow coming. Now I've missed the banks deadline.

The day that Arizona abolished the concealed weapon law, I was scheduled for an appointment with Dr. Lloyd. I walked into his office and said how glad I was that they changed that concealed weapon law, now I can conceal my gun wherever I go, (joking). Dr. Lloyd looked up and put his hands up in a defensive way and backed up scared, saying, "what?" I said calm down, I'm only reciting the new law. Oh, he replied and put his hands back down. I then told him I don't even own a gun and to relax. he did. That is a sure red flag that your dentist is a psycho when that happens. I should have taken notice then. By the way, I do own a gun, but have never shot anyone................yet.

So on the dating front, it's kind of quiet. I decided to let Sara go her own way when I realized that when I stopped talking it was just quiet. She seldom had anything to add to the conversation and I was basically entertaining her. Even her emails were one line long. There I was going into detail on long extravagant stories and hers would be a one liner answering a question. I thought she was just reserved, not boring. But boring best described Sara. I require more from a partner. There are a few new women waiting on the horizon, I'll introduce them as they come closer.

It's been a few days since I've posted anything, basically because things have been kind of quiet, but.............. a couple of things have happened. I went to the grocery store yesterday. Please understand that I got married 3 different times, mostly to avoid having to go food shopping at the grocery store. I literally hate it! Well, I dislike it, anyway. I wait until the most likely un-busiest day of the week. I went on a Monday. It wasn't too bad. I needed a few things and my pie supply had diminished down to mere crumbs. So I found the steaks that were on sale, T-bones and as I was walking towards the milk section at Fry's, I heard someone or something calling my name. I looked and it was the pie table, just screaming to me. I picked out a pecan pie and all the way home I could think of nothing else but slashing into it with a knife. I limited myself to just one pie, but I did pickup a banana nut cake and some cookies, just in case. I used the automated check out service and I was out of there in mere minutes, tearing at the bag that held my precious pie, but couldn't really reach it. When I got home, still leaving anything that didn't need refrigeration in the car, I shove a blade into that baby and to my chagrin, I found it to be mis-marked and it did NOT hold a single pecan, but peaches! WTF? Guess what. That's really okay, because I like peach pie too! I don't think they make a pie I don't like! So I ate a half of a peach pie, then carried in the rest of the groceries.

Even more excitement going on in my life... I was sitting at the computer working on some serious problems. Should I write to the blond or brunette, when suddenly I get an email from a name that sounds familiar, but required some deep immediate thought. It was from a Suzanne Something. Who was she and why was she writing to me. Before I even got to the email, I realized who she was and why I was so slow in recalling her. She was my long lost cousin from Chicago! I hadn't seen or heard from her in probably 40 years. My first crush! I was only about 4 or 5 years old when she began in my memory banks. I remember being just a little boy and when we'd go to their house to visit or they'd come over to our house, I'd get real quiet, put my hands in my pockets and just look down at the floor. Everyone would ask what's wrong and I didn't even know. I'd get real shy around cousin Suzanne. She was about a year older then me and was the youngest of 3 kids and her older siblings were brothers. She was the only girl. I really didn't know much about girls....................still don't!

Anyway, cousin Suzanne wrote to me asking if I want to be found. She and her husband ran into my brother at a benefit and she asked him for my email address and guess what! She told me last night that I was her favorite! Pretty exciting stuff, aye?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Sara X. XXXXX...

The longer that I'm on these dating services, the more junk I run into. Although I must say that I'm met some virtually charming women, I've also run into some rather odd situations. One lady, after speaking with her for over 2 hours, insisted on calling me with a blocked number. After our long conversation, she was saying goodbye when I reminded her that if we were to speak again, she would have to call me again, as I don't have her number. She acknowledged that to be true and hung up. I was done! If after speaking with me for over two hours, I hadn't impressed upon her that I was one of the good guys, there was no hope for her and I refused further contact.

Last night Sara and I met at an upscale Chinese restaurant in North Scottsdale for dinner. She was about 5 minutes late her usual method of operating, but showed up looking great and she came with a gift. She was wearing really tight jeans, the ones that are slung low on the waist that I'm so fond of and a tight sweater, that showed her in a good light, ahem! She greeted me with a hug, that I wasn't expecting but glad to get and a tin foil wrapped package that she explained were cookies that she and her granddaughter made on Sunday. All I could think to say was, "I didn't get you anything"! She assured me that it was okay. We were seated and started studying the menu for a few minutes and then began a 2 1/2 hour meal. Not because we were eating all of that time, but because our conversation was occupying the evening. I told her about my dentist experience and she was sympathetic and I followed it with my heart event that took place almost 6 years ago. By the time I was finished with her, I noticed she was yawning quite a bit. That's odd, those are 2 of my best stories!

Now we're getting to the part that's a little strange. Sara is anonymous. That's right. We've been together twice now and she's kissed me goodnight both times and is friendly towards me, kind of like she likes me, you know? But will not tell me her last name or her email address or anything about herself that has to do with identity. Her theory is, better safe than sorry. That makes me a threat to her safety. When I got home, I practiced making evil faces in the mirror to try to imagine how she must see me. I even tried the moustache curl along with a sinister laugh, but still didn't feel that I came across as mean. I'm either going to have to work on looking more evil or she's just going to have to give me the information I want. I asked her if we get married, what will I put on the invitations? Mel Fisher and Sara Someone announce their engagement??? That just caused me to take marriage........................ right off the table!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Gum Disease (The silent stench)

People fascinate me, and although I'm reflective by nature, nothing is better than a sunshine filled day, cool breeze, listening to music, sipping wine and enjoying easy conversation with a great man.
Please, Gentlemen, no drama, no facial hair, no gum disease, no charlatans, no bad attitude…

Above is a portion of a profile written by a woman that alleges to be 59. Some women just won't pass that 60 barrier no matter what nature and the calendar say. She is and probably was an attractive woman, but at some point a person must give up that cruel, judgemental attitude and accept what nature has bestowed upon them. As for being selective, I believe this woman has crossed a new boundary and that boundary addresses GUM DISEASE, the silent smell! Below is my email to her. I didn't insult her, just let her know that she's now being watched!

This was in her profile:

Please, Gentlemen, no drama, no facial hair, no gum disease, no charlatans, no bad attitude…

This is my email to her: (She had read the book I'm reading)

Dear Glitter:
I'm on page 616 of The Gate House, a wonderful book by Nelson DeMille. I see that you already read it and that's why I'm writing. Who dies? Anthony, Sally Da Da, Susan or John? Nevermind, don't tell me, but the suspense is too much. You may not like me, I'm a charlatan with a chin beard and a bad attitude, suffering from gum disease. Oh, the drama!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Teacher's Pet...

I had a date this past weekend with a charming little girl that I had met on one of the dating sites a couple of months ago. I'm not quite sure on why it took so long to get to the part where we finally met, but it went something like this. We emailed to one another and I tried my best to show my imaginary charm. After a period of time, I asked for her number, but she chose to get to know me a little better. More emailing. One day, she sent me her phone number without warning. About a few days went by and I called, only for me to run the conversation off the road. I got onto this dead end topic that was of no interest to either of us and once there, I just couldn't stop! It was about, of all things, Child Protective Services, that I know absolutely nothing about, a train wreck! When we hung up, I know that I did and later found out that she did the same.............threw up! The conversation was just ghastly! Realizing it, I wrote her a note that said, there was no reason for two semi-intelligent people to run the bus off the road to that extreme, but since we both realize it, perhaps we should give it another chance? Gracefully, she agreed. Now here is a problem. How in the world, do I get myself to call a lady that I'd had such a horrible conversation with? It didn't come easily. About a month passed and nothing. Then one day I saw her online and wrote something to her about, "How quaint seeing you here"? She didn't reply, but I was talking with Barbara last week and hung up the phone on her when suddenly the phone rang again and I thought it was Barbara, my ex-wife calling back, when the caller ID said, it was Sara... I answered, Sara, baby! Well, to say she was taken aback by my opening greeting was an understatement. Sara is a 4th grade teacher, about 5' 5" and a size 2 or 4. Sweet and slight and demure. I said, am I glad YOU called, I was just speaking with my ex-wife and hung up on her, hello! She said hello and we chatted for a time and decided to finally meet this weekend. Sara has a busy schedule with hiking and Yoga and being a grandmother. Don't you just love how grandmothers are so hot these days, or is it just me?

Sara showed up and called me from the restaurant. I was waiting in my car, as I had arrived early. When I first saw her I was pleased with her looks, which doesn't happen too often to me. She was my type. I went to the trouble of texting her when she was on the way there and telling her I was really 5' 4" and she kept texting me back saying, really, really? I think she was relieved to see I was taller.

We sat and chatted and did the dating dance. Told stories and tried to impress her with my humor and eventually it was time to see what we had here. I asked her if she felt we should see each other again and she said, you start! A million thoughts went through my mind with that response. Why should I go first? Is she interested and doesn't want to be turned down if she commits? I bobbed and weaved for about 5 minutes and talked about other topics when suddenly I asked if she'd like to go out again and she said, YES! Life just got easier. The wondering was over, she wanted to see me again. Good, now did I want to see her again? I believe I did! We have a MATCH!!!

All weekend I didn't know what to do with this new friend. She was busy hiking on Saturday and it turned out she went to Sedona with a group. She sent me a picture of scenery from her cell phone on Saturday and I replied that I had been searching the entire Sonoran desert for her, just banter. We spoke on the phone today and I invited her to go out for Chinese food tonight and she said she was having her granddaughter over to bake cookies and color. I understand priorities, so we'll go out on Wednesday.

I really enjoyed going to the 4th grade, but never really got a chance to be teacher's pet.........until now!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Death by Sugar...

1959 Corvette
Yesterday I went to the grocery store with pie on my mind. I now know that's a bad idea. I learned years ago, not to shop while hungry because everything looks good to you. Well, yesterday I bought 3 pies and a box of chocolate chip cookies and lettuce. That's it. I have no idea why I bought lettuce without dressing, but I'll keep it around for awhile until it turns to water and toss it, like all of the other lettuces before it.

I barely was home when I ripped into my Cherry pie and before the sun went down, finished it. Today's menu has Apple pie on it and possibly a few cookies. I'm not worried about weight gain because I've covered all the mirrors in the house. Sometimes it's nice just to do what you want, without any thought about what's right!

Next on my list of topics is a little tiff, that I got into with an old friend. Imagine me being misunderstood??? It started with a phone call from Harvey, my high school friend, wanting to know if I could find him a muscle car from the 60's? Something for about $15,000 that is worth about $25,000 and if so, can I buy it and ship it and he'll pay me back. Well honestly reader, I've been in the business of buying and sell automobiles fr the past 35 years and if there is a $10,000 profit to realize in this economy, it certainly isn't going to Harvey. In reply, I suggested he purchase my 85 Red Corvette with only 43,000 miles for the $15,000.

Harvey thought about this and asked me to send him pictures of the car. I said, no. Just try to remember what they look like and mine is just like that! I sent him a picture off the Internet of an 85 Corvette, but I suspected he smelled a rat. I could back the car out of my garage and take pictures of it, but that's a lot of trouble for Harvey to say no to. A couple of days went by and I got an email from Harvey saying, "Why should I pay $15,000 for your Corvette, when I can buy one for about $10,000 right here"? My reply was, "First, my Corvette WAS worth $15,000 and since you want one and I don't want to sell it, it's $15,000 FIRM!" He was all, humph!

The next email I get from Harvey is a picture of a 1992 Camaro with the Vin number 01, that he claims he bought for $1200 and already sold for $31,000! I replied, "Leave it to you to sell a $65,000 car for the giveaway price of $31,000! Again I took the upper hand. (First liar doesn't have a chance)

Now, in the shadow of my sister-in-law passing away and my having a similar lack of relationship with my older brother, I've made it a point to include him in a few things I send out on the Internet. You know, things I think he might like. One thing I sent was a picture of a 56 Ford Sunliner, similar to the one he owned when he was 16, along with a short note. This was his reply:

"Thanks for the pictorial on the 50's . It was fun . I do remember my 56 for convertible and I wish I had it now. It is worth a chunk. I did buy another 50's car in 1992 and I still have in my Florida house. It is for sale but the market is not too good now. So I can wait. I hope all is well with you and the boys. I have included a picture of my '59 Vette. Nice to hear from you."

Suddenly, a light bulb actually lit over my head and I wrote this short note to Harvey, setting the bait:


I just got this email from my brother, you probably didn't know I even had a brother, but I do. He lives in Northbrook and seldom talks to me, but I sent him that 50's thing because he used to own a 56 Ford Sunliner, orange and white, similar to the one that was pictured.
He now has a 59 Corvette that he's owned since 1992 that he's trying to get $17500 for, but I know you only want to spend 15G's, so I didn't mention you, but if you'd consider paying a little more......?


The bait is set! Harveys reply:

Hi Mel,

I do remember your brother from high school somewhat but you have said so little about him I forgot. Would you ask your brother to give me some history of the car, what has been done in terms of restoration, is it original numbers matching, condition….good driver etc. I will be in Florida from 2/18-2/24 and will be in Tampa and in Marco Island. Where could I see the car and look it over. Please find out. If he is going to be there sooner I would consider flying down earlier if I had a lot of info and a number of clear photos of the car. I would like all info. If I did buy this car I could ship it here or drive it to Orlando,,,,take the auto train but then I would need to drive it 6 hours from Washington DC and I am not sure I could trust that many hours of 60 MPH driving but let’s see what your brother Larry says.

Now the hook is set and I'm a little afraid that he's really believing me and that my joke is back-firing. I think about it for quite awhile and about 1 AM I can't sleep, when suddenly this pops into my mind! I leap out of bed and run to the computer to send this message:

It's 1 AM here in the valley of the sun and I just got home after a long and dead end date. Who would have ever dreamed that I'd be doing this at age 64? You know me, I'm a bottom line kind of guy The 59 Corvette, as nice as it is, may not be for you? I spoke with my brother and learned a few terrible facts about the car. You may or may not know that my older brother is only about 5' 6" tall and when he found out you were about 6'3", he was literally beside himself with envy, but mostly anger about your height. Being a "short guy", he's always had one of those Napoleonic attitudes about tall people and I feel it's the main reason that he doesn't have much to do with me. In is ignorance, he had the Corvette scaled down to about 83% of it's normal size. In other words, in order to get it registered legally, he had to declare it a "kit car" and register it as a VW engine model 545569. In scaling down the car, there was no longer room for the big 348 CU. In engine, so they swapped it with a 4 cylinder VW bug motor. Well, that explained the discount price! By law, both Illinois and Florida, you can be no taller than 5' 7" to drive and own this car. So what I'm trying to say is, the deal is off! I hope this email finds you in good spirits and prompts you to look even harder for the car of your dreams. Unless perhaps you still want it for your wife?

Your friend,

Honest Mel, the car buyers friend.

As a result, can you believe it, Harvey's not talking to me?
PS. My brother's 6' 3"...

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

You Just Can't Fix St000pid...

The call came one morning last week and because I had been asleep, I missed it. It came to me in the form of a voicemail from my former brother-in-law, Henry. The message was a sad one. He told me that his wife of about 30 years, passed away last night in her sleep and her gallant 6 year fight against cancer was finally over. I had spoken with Henry the night before and he said he'd keep me posted on her condition, but I never dreamed it would happen so soon. I saved the message to listen to when I was more awake, to make sure I'd heard it correctly and I had.

About 6 years ago, Patty found a lump on her breast that turned out to be malignant. She then suffered a bi-lateral mastectomy and it was late into her recovery that she came to Phoenix to care for me after my heart episode. She stayed about a week and went home for some social event and returned a week later to stay with me again, this time for 10 days. I'll always remember her generosity and how she forgot about her own problems when I needed help. I never spent that many hours laughing with a woman that I wasn't married to and frankly, I don't know how she put up with me. We fought like dogs and cats when we disagreed on something, like where to park when she would drop me off in front of a medical building. We sounded like an old married couple.

When she returned home, we remained email buddies and exchanged jokes and political opinions. We'd speak periodically and catch up. Last year around this time, I flew to Chicago to see her while I could. She had just had some major surgery, as the cancer had spread to her bones. She really couldn't walk, but scooted around on a kitchen step stool that had wheels, using her one good leg for motion.

I got a call from her oldest son Scott, last week. He wanted to tell me to get in touch with his Mom, as she really wasn't doing well. I did, but she had already succumbed to the disease that eventually took her and was asleep constantly. She had 24 hour Hospice help and sedation.

After the call came, I got notification from her husband and son announcing a dedication service that was planned for next month, after her cremation. I received invitations from her cousin Mike to stay with him at his house during the November dedication and to tell Brad he's welcome too.

Now my ex-wife and her sister Patty have been fighting since fighting was fashionable around 30 years ago. I never really knew what this silly fight was over, but my ex being super jealous of her older sister, I always felt it had something to do with that. I also didn't think that anyone would notify her of her sister's demise. I handled it with an email when I first found out that Patty was doing poorly and advised Barbara to contact her sister, she might be near the end. Only a day later I sent her another email notifying her of her only sister's death. Again, no reply!

On Halloween Day, I put it off as long as possible then realized it was probably my obligation to see if she even received my emails and if she even still lived in AZ. I called her number and it rang an unusually long time, when just as I was about to hang up and try her cell, she answered. I wished her a happy Halloween and asked if she'd heard from our son Brad lately? She said she'd had lunch with him last week and I asked if he was okay. She said, yes. I asked how our estranged grandson Max was and she said she didn't know, she isn't allowed to talk about him. I dropped it. I asked if she got my emails and she said, yes. I asked if she'd had the opportunity to contact her sister before she died and she said, She could have called me! So I relied that you never got a chance to right things??? Well, she should have called me...... I interrupted her and said, SHE'S DEAD! How could she call you from a coma prior to death? Well, I was pretty sick plenty of times and she never called me! I almost lost a leg one time and she didn't call.. I said I couldn't continue this conversation and hung up! You just can't fix ST000PID!