Thursday, November 18, 2010

All That for THAT?

In my entire 64 years, I've NEVER had this problem. I'm living in Nazi Germany! Since moving into this hell hole last January it's been nothing but a source of problems. It takes two different stimuli to create the horrible living conditions that I'm kind of stuck in temporarily. First, NEVER do business with an engineer. They suffer from tunnel vision and only see things in black and white, without any gray area. Second, HOA's need to be eliminated from this Earth immediately. How ever they dispose of these vermin is fine with me. I've never been a victim before and don't really care for it.

If you've been following my life in any capacity, you'll know that I've been at odds with the local HOA over a few weeds that had the nerve to come up while I was out of town. I suffered a $150 fine finding out that weeds were now MY problem. I make a daily concerted effort to personally pick out any weed that has the audacity to pop up upon natures command. That make me the enemy of nature. My landlord, a word that I've never had to use before, agrees with the HOA and actually started eviction proceedings when I balked about the $150. To keep the peace, I caved and paid the ridiculous fine.

This winter one of the scrawny rose bushes passed away. I held a small ceremony for it, nothing fancy, just a few friends and immediate family. I mourned it's remains whenever arriving home with a frown and a head shake. Sad.... Wouldn't you know it, I get notice from the "ASSOCIATION" Big Brother, that it is my responsibility to remove it's dead carcass. On the way back from the mailbox, I stop and remove it's dead ass and toss it into the dumpster. Today, I get yet another notice from the "ASSOCIATION" that it is time to remove AND replace the dead bush. I'm renting here. My body is leaving these premises soon and do they expect ME to replace the dead rose bush? Again, this is NOT my place. In a furry, I rip the letter into shreds and start planning my eviction because I have no intention of replacing bushes here.

Shortly after ripping up my letter, the phone rings and it's my friend Eugie. She calms me down and urges me to call the ASSOCIATION and ask what I'm expected to do. I hang up with her explaining that when I called last time, the woman read the letter back to me and said, "that's what to do". Basically useless. I called the ASSOCIATION and sure enough the same stupid woman answers and says to remove or replace the bush. I thank her for the vital information and compose an email to the direction of chaos at the ASSOCIATION. As I'm writing the first paragraph of this blog post with rage coming from my fingers, his reply arrives and I will paste his reply right here.

"I do apologize. The letter was sent to the wrong address. I have removed it for your records. Thank you and I am sorry for the inconvenience."

Have a great thanksgiving.
Roy Shithead

1 comment:

Jules said...

I love your battles! Do you think there is a common denominator?

And speaking or roses,the buds I stole from you are blooming this morning in all different colors! They're quite beautiful. Thank you.