Friday, November 5, 2010

Death by Sugar...

1959 Corvette
Yesterday I went to the grocery store with pie on my mind. I now know that's a bad idea. I learned years ago, not to shop while hungry because everything looks good to you. Well, yesterday I bought 3 pies and a box of chocolate chip cookies and lettuce. That's it. I have no idea why I bought lettuce without dressing, but I'll keep it around for awhile until it turns to water and toss it, like all of the other lettuces before it.

I barely was home when I ripped into my Cherry pie and before the sun went down, finished it. Today's menu has Apple pie on it and possibly a few cookies. I'm not worried about weight gain because I've covered all the mirrors in the house. Sometimes it's nice just to do what you want, without any thought about what's right!

Next on my list of topics is a little tiff, that I got into with an old friend. Imagine me being misunderstood??? It started with a phone call from Harvey, my high school friend, wanting to know if I could find him a muscle car from the 60's? Something for about $15,000 that is worth about $25,000 and if so, can I buy it and ship it and he'll pay me back. Well honestly reader, I've been in the business of buying and sell automobiles fr the past 35 years and if there is a $10,000 profit to realize in this economy, it certainly isn't going to Harvey. In reply, I suggested he purchase my 85 Red Corvette with only 43,000 miles for the $15,000.

Harvey thought about this and asked me to send him pictures of the car. I said, no. Just try to remember what they look like and mine is just like that! I sent him a picture off the Internet of an 85 Corvette, but I suspected he smelled a rat. I could back the car out of my garage and take pictures of it, but that's a lot of trouble for Harvey to say no to. A couple of days went by and I got an email from Harvey saying, "Why should I pay $15,000 for your Corvette, when I can buy one for about $10,000 right here"? My reply was, "First, my Corvette WAS worth $15,000 and since you want one and I don't want to sell it, it's $15,000 FIRM!" He was all, humph!

The next email I get from Harvey is a picture of a 1992 Camaro with the Vin number 01, that he claims he bought for $1200 and already sold for $31,000! I replied, "Leave it to you to sell a $65,000 car for the giveaway price of $31,000! Again I took the upper hand. (First liar doesn't have a chance)

Now, in the shadow of my sister-in-law passing away and my having a similar lack of relationship with my older brother, I've made it a point to include him in a few things I send out on the Internet. You know, things I think he might like. One thing I sent was a picture of a 56 Ford Sunliner, similar to the one he owned when he was 16, along with a short note. This was his reply:

"Thanks for the pictorial on the 50's . It was fun . I do remember my 56 for convertible and I wish I had it now. It is worth a chunk. I did buy another 50's car in 1992 and I still have in my Florida house. It is for sale but the market is not too good now. So I can wait. I hope all is well with you and the boys. I have included a picture of my '59 Vette. Nice to hear from you."

Suddenly, a light bulb actually lit over my head and I wrote this short note to Harvey, setting the bait:


I just got this email from my brother, you probably didn't know I even had a brother, but I do. He lives in Northbrook and seldom talks to me, but I sent him that 50's thing because he used to own a 56 Ford Sunliner, orange and white, similar to the one that was pictured.
He now has a 59 Corvette that he's owned since 1992 that he's trying to get $17500 for, but I know you only want to spend 15G's, so I didn't mention you, but if you'd consider paying a little more......?


The bait is set! Harveys reply:

Hi Mel,

I do remember your brother from high school somewhat but you have said so little about him I forgot. Would you ask your brother to give me some history of the car, what has been done in terms of restoration, is it original numbers matching, condition….good driver etc. I will be in Florida from 2/18-2/24 and will be in Tampa and in Marco Island. Where could I see the car and look it over. Please find out. If he is going to be there sooner I would consider flying down earlier if I had a lot of info and a number of clear photos of the car. I would like all info. If I did buy this car I could ship it here or drive it to Orlando,,,,take the auto train but then I would need to drive it 6 hours from Washington DC and I am not sure I could trust that many hours of 60 MPH driving but let’s see what your brother Larry says.

Now the hook is set and I'm a little afraid that he's really believing me and that my joke is back-firing. I think about it for quite awhile and about 1 AM I can't sleep, when suddenly this pops into my mind! I leap out of bed and run to the computer to send this message:

It's 1 AM here in the valley of the sun and I just got home after a long and dead end date. Who would have ever dreamed that I'd be doing this at age 64? You know me, I'm a bottom line kind of guy The 59 Corvette, as nice as it is, may not be for you? I spoke with my brother and learned a few terrible facts about the car. You may or may not know that my older brother is only about 5' 6" tall and when he found out you were about 6'3", he was literally beside himself with envy, but mostly anger about your height. Being a "short guy", he's always had one of those Napoleonic attitudes about tall people and I feel it's the main reason that he doesn't have much to do with me. In is ignorance, he had the Corvette scaled down to about 83% of it's normal size. In other words, in order to get it registered legally, he had to declare it a "kit car" and register it as a VW engine model 545569. In scaling down the car, there was no longer room for the big 348 CU. In engine, so they swapped it with a 4 cylinder VW bug motor. Well, that explained the discount price! By law, both Illinois and Florida, you can be no taller than 5' 7" to drive and own this car. So what I'm trying to say is, the deal is off! I hope this email finds you in good spirits and prompts you to look even harder for the car of your dreams. Unless perhaps you still want it for your wife?

Your friend,

Honest Mel, the car buyers friend.

As a result, can you believe it, Harvey's not talking to me?
PS. My brother's 6' 3"...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"Bottom line guy"????? WTF? NMS