Thursday, May 26, 2011

Do I Attract CRAZY?

Today has been a day that would be better to end than to continue living through. I already detailed out the trauma of euthanasia and then just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water, I get an unsolicited email from a woman on Plenty of Fish that literally caused serious head scratching. I'll post that email here and keep in mind this woman wrote to me, but just the usual, "I liked your profile" stuff. I didn't respond because she lives far away and I have other things going on.

The sitcom that is my life continues. Now I am hosting three crazy Czecs who flew in
Monday. They arrived with home made brew of some sort. They do not speak english,
they just do not stop. They are up 3 hours before me and stay up after I give up and go
to bed. Last night we were scorpion hunting and we were a block from the house before
I noticed that 2 of them were not wearing pants. they want to take them home with
them (dead of course). I have no idea when they are leaving, but will let you know the
minute I come out of my alcohol and exhaustion induced coma. They think I am looking
up coordinates for more adventures now. gotta run before they get the alcohol out
again. keep in touch so POF does not delete you. I would still like to meet


What would you make of it? Yeah, me too. Again, I didn't reply.

At about 7:30, LJ had had enough of today and retired for the evening. She closed her door, turned off the light and went to sleep. About 15 minutes later, I was outside lighting the grill when I thought I heard someone ring the bell, but it might have been on the TV. I came back in the house and headed for the kitchen where we keep the burgers and it rang again. It was completely dark outside and our front lights were off. Not too many people even know I live here, so more likely than not, I figured it was someone to see the Lovely Jules. However she'd had a horrible day and was fast asleep. I didn't want to explain to some old boyfriend the details of my presence here, not to mention she has an unhappy brother that is not to be trusted. All of these are things that went through my mind as the bell continued to ring repeatedly. I decided to ignore the ringing, but then the would be visitor started pounding on the security door and screaming "open the door and let me in", in a woman's voice! That made me not want to answer even more. Suddenly LJ stumbled out of her room, clearly awakened by the intruder and opened the door to find the crazy person had left. She shook her head like it was some kind of a dream and went back to sleep. Me, I ate my burger.

What would you have done? My theory is that when someone rings your bell at 8 or 8:30 PM uninvited and without a previous call, it can't be something I want to deal with. Isn't that how home invasions start?

Farewell to the $5 Dog...

This picture was taken in January of 09, shortly after having to put down my best friend, Bogie. It's a picture of Zoie, my female Great Dane with Pawpaw the $5 dog. Zoie was lonely after losing her life partner, Bogie and Pawpaw was more than interested in this tall, slim, female, but not willing to court her first. Oh well, Pawpaw remained a good friend anyway.

Today we said goodbye to the $5 dog, sadly. I must say he fought up to the very end. He snapped and growled twice as the vet delivered the lethal injection. He wasn't going to go easily. He was ready though. He had miraculously made it to 20 years of age. Even the vet remarked that he had lead a long life.

LJ came to me yesterday and asked that I handle the preparations, as she just couldn't get herself to do it. I completely understood as she was gracious enough to handle the same for me when it was Bogie's turn.

Somehow I was mistaken for this emotionally strong person that can do this sort of thing, but I shed more than one tear privately, in accomplishing this request. The vet arrived right on time and was very professional and dignified the event. LJ sat with him and said her goodbyes while comforting Pawpaw, as he quietly went off to sleep. Then LJ went out to be alone while the vet carried him off and she said her private goodbyes. Pawpaw will surely be missed.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Rinky Dink Surgicenter...

I'm back from my procedure but didn't have it done. Here's what happened. I tried to sleep as late as possible, since I knew I wasn't going to be able to eat or drink anything today, so my theory was to extend the sleep portion of my day as long as possible, make sense? At about 9:30 I glanced over at my phone to see it flashing like crazy, indicating some sort of communication that I'd missed. I keep my phone on 24 hours a day, but turn off the ringer at night. There are 4 messages for me to listen to and they are all from the Surgi-center that I am scheduled to be at around 2 PM. I listen and evidently my girl got it wrong again with her last call last night when she moved me to a 2PM check in. Now it's a 1 PM check in. I got the feeling that if I drove right over there now, they'd take me. I called them back with the same information that I supplied to them yesterday on the phone, since there was no record of it.

I made a list of my medications, and casually spent the rest of the morning starving and wanting coffee, that was not to be consumed. I'm on a strict "nothing by mouth" 8 hours before surgery. Twelve thirty rolls around and LJ drives me over to the place that's not too far from the house. She drops me off and goes shopping to the mall. I eventually get invited back by a pleasant little lady named Laura. She's my get ready nurse. I'm instructed to sign a bunch of releases and asked to hop into a hospital gown and nylon stockings that go all the way up my legs to the groin. I'm glad there is no mirror in my little area because I had no desire to see myself in drag. I'm instructed to not tie the gown and just leave it open in the back. I put a net over my head and try my best to climb onto the gurney in a ladylike manner and not shoot a beaver! No way is it possible!

At some point we are joined my several other nurses. One says she'll be with me to take the ex-rays and another is the head nurse, kind of a butch thing. One of the several nurses in the room seems to know more than the others and I can see her take charge attitude that is appreciated since the others are taking my lead. Suddenly, the take charge girl, lets call her Beth, mentions that my Potassium is awfully high and when did I have my labs taken? I tell her the 17th of May, about a week ago, but this is the absolute soonest I could get scheduled here. She says, that's strange because were wide open. No one scheduled hardly at all. My thoughts go wheeling back to the dumb girl that works in my doctor's office in scheduling.

Then Beth tells me that my Potassium is probably too high to go ahead with this procedure, but we will wait for the doctor to decide. I step in and ask, don't you have a lab here to test it again. Laura says we have a device that tests your Potassium right here is seconds but it's broken and we haven't gotten it fixed. I ask when it broke and she says several months ago and no one knows how to get another one. I suggest they contact the rep for the company, but I'm told it's very expensive and the management has decided not to replace it until business gets better.

Suddenly I think I'm hearing all of this in a dream and this can't really be happening. I ask for my pants! The take charge nurse, Beth says it's a good idea if we wait until the doctor gets here before we decided ourselves. I explain that I've already made my decision and to please give me my pants or do I have to walk out of here in my chorus girl outfit. She laughs and suddenly Dr. Spacey walks in and is already aware of the situation. Before I get a chance to tell him I'm leaving he says, let's reschedule this procedure for next week at a hospital where they will have everything we need. I shake his hand and finally am awarded my stinking pants! I call Julie and ask for a Coke to drink while I wait.

Only in Phoenix, AZ. the Valley of the Sun will you find a penny pinching Surgi-center. I'd be willing to bet that the device they don't have isn't anywhere near as expensive as a law suite.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Living a My Space Life in a Facebook World...

Tomorrow I go under the knife in a limited sort of fashion. I need to have a procedure where they enter through my bladder and take pictures of my ureters and kidneys after shooting some nondescript dye into the whole mix. Since I don't come equipped with an easy access bladder, I need to be asleep for the process. I try not to think of the path that they will take to enter my bladder.

And who are these people that wish to do all of this? My candid opinion is that they represent a bunch of ego maniacs that are called doctors. Some are worse than others and they entire bunch aren't worth the prices they received from the system that put them in charge. For example: I am referred to a urologist by my nephrologist (kidney doctor). I attend my appointment with him (Kevin Spacey) and am perfectly on time. My test results are not sent along, so the entire appointment was a waste, but he still charged me a small fortune for his staff's inadequate performance and rescheduled me for a second appointment 3 weeks later. I sit there for about 90 minutes getting madder and madder when he finally walks in, read me my test results and schedules this procedure. Only his girl never calls me back, so the procedure doesn't get scheduled. I finally call the third or fourth time and she does return my call but is not really smart enough to do her job. She schedules this procedure for June 9th, but tells me that I need to have a follow-up appointment with the doctor because my appointment is not within 30 days of my last appointment and that breaks company policy. Got all that?

I ask how I can have a follow-up appointment before I ever have the procedure, when I realize she doesn't know what "follow up" even means. Now I'm frustrated because that will be yet another appointment and frankly, no one knows why I'm even going through all of this. Supposedly it's to see if the reason that my blood pressure runs so high is because of a possible blockage in my kidneys. I asked the urologist if that's what's going on and his reply was "I donno", and just like that too. He asked me why I didn't put my social security number on the application and I told him the truth, that I hate to include that anywhere that is not directly related to the government, so my identity is not so easily stolen. At that point he reads me my social security number, to show me he got it anyway and preceded to print it on all of my paperwork that is distributed everywhere. So much for my secret, huh? So it appears that my doctor has an ego problem. Suddenly, the scheduler says she can fit me in tomorrow at 3 PM. I tell her I'll take it. Later they call and reschedule that for 2 PM and I accept the additional hour too.

Now why am I having problems with my kidneys, you ask? Well, because 6 years ago, an ego maniacal emergency room doctor decided to do an angiogram on my and accidentally poked a hole through my descending artery of my heart. I was rushed to another hospital for open heart surgery where someone goofed again and my kidneys failed. and that's why I don't like going to the doctor!

Wish me LUCK!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

DirecTV Sucks?

It appears that last May I made the decision of Direct TV over Dish Network based on too little information. Not being fully informed ultimately was detrimental to my well being. Here it is 12 months later and I'm paying for that poor decision. I blamed Dish for hiring the jive turkey that answered the phone that day for turning me off. When their representative answered, he had an accent form a foreign land and laughed at me when I told him I was switching from Cox. Kind of like, you poor fool, let me have a chance at you now! That's all I had to hear to plunge the receiver down on that conversation. Next I phoned Direct TV that was answered by a polite lady that seemed like she wanted to help me. (A wolfess in sheep's clothing). I endured a lot of talking and numbers and really all I was interested in was the bottom line and that seemed to be $29.95 a month. I said I'll take it. Evidently that signed me up for a 24 month contract. The installer was less than helpful and when he left I had to reinstall the equipment over again with the assistance of the tech on the phone. The installer just about insisted on putting the dish where he found it easiest, even though I would have been in violation of the HOA rules. He finally did it the way I required and stamped out without saying even a goodbye I'm done, but did leave a humongous mess outside. Immediately after getting Direct TV installed, I looked for my favorite channel, MSNBC. It wasn't available on my limited package so I had to increase it to now cost $41.56 per month. Got all that?

Fast forward to the present. In January I decided to end my lease at the old location due to an evil HOA and landlord from hell. I gladly moved to my present location. When I tried to cancel Direct TV, I was reminded of a 2 year contract I evidently signed and they wanted $300 to ignore. I decided that since I was going to be paying for it anyway, I might as well let them install it for free at the new local. That happened and once again the installation was shoddy. Now at this location we have Direct TV and Dish Network and Dish Network beats the pants off of Direct TV. Direct TV sits all alone in a third bedroom lonely and abandoned. I go in there about once a month to watch a TV show that might not be on with Dish Network.

Friday I got my bill and it was for about $60 to keep that TV running. Naturally I called and was informed that my first year is up and I am no longer within the (now get this) discount period of one year and the regular price is $60 a month. Exasperated, I explain to the lady that I don't even watch the damned thing and only pay it so I honor my contract that I never knew I was even getting into. She puts me on hold while I burn away precious fixed income minutes on my cell phone. I ask her to call me back when she's accomplished whatever it is that she's trying to do, but she says she's not allowed to, that it will only take a few more minutes. I explained that for $60 a month, I'd prefer to forget about Direct TV and just walk away from their alleged agreement. Again, I was asked to hold. About 15 minutes had now passed and I explained that it was not my rule that I remain on hold while she talks to her supervisor and I was saying goodbye! She said something, but I no longer cared and hung up.

About 5 minutes later, I received a revised statement by email and opened it and it said I now owed $21.67 and I happily paid it. Yesterday, I went into bedroom number 3 and turned on Direct TV and found that it was all disconnected. So evidently I'm now paying $21.67 a month for not having any TV. Direct TV SUCKS! What would you do?

Friday, May 13, 2011


56 year old Cow girl

Howdy Guys, Before I get started on my description, I want you to understand. MEN PLEASE, have a Recent photo posted! Do you know how disappointing it is to email an attractive man, you first see, in a photo, & get sent a recent photo & suddenly he's aged 10 yr's & is now old & ugly? The gal was attracted to to younger photo of you, & it isn't fair to her. You should be retired, or at least have a flexible schedule, for meeting & dating. Working is ok but If your life doesn't have time for dating because of being over worked or other reasons or you don't have time to give the lady proper attention, don't bother. I am looking to spend time with & have fun with a nice guy. If you don't want to meet & date, don't ask. Let's go 2 steppin. If your not a country gent & not decent looking, don't bother. There is a large line between a country gent & a hillbillie, someone that have photo's taken of himself in no shirt & shorts holding a rifle standing in front of a trailer park, & it would help if he has a good education. if not, Not interested. Saves time. Due to the misconception of what I'm looking for, I have to change it a bit, on here. I guess you would say I'm a fun loving gal who just has a normal income & was born in Tx. I love the WESTERN LIFESTYLE, rodeo's & all western events, horseback riding, c/music going out dancing with that cowboy CUTIE. I don't mind occasional traveling. I'm looking for a good looking cowboy or good looking country gent with a good sense of humor & one who loves the western lifestyle. If there is any on this site. ? What I mean by western lifestyle is one who has lived on or worked on a ranch, one who has been in rodeo's or just enjoys going to one, one who know about horses or just likes to ride them. If he even just loves the western lifestyle & dresses like it too, that is a plus. Meeting for the first time dressing in a Hawaian shirt, knee high pant's, & tennies, is such a turn off. I wouldn't suggest it. It would be nice if he could dance as well. (dancing is not a requirement) I like dark headed men, graying is ok, or any combination. Heck if you have hair, that will I don't tolerate drugs, & excessive drinking but social drinking is ok. If you can't or won't put a pic on then don't bother. I need to see who I'm talking to. That means a resent photo, not one that is 5 yr's old. Looks change a lot within 5 yr's so make them current. Well that's about it guys. If you want to know more bout me, then contact me. ttyl Destany

Her profile pretty much tells it all.

Here's the email I had to send to this sweetheart:

Dear Destany:

Do you have any older pictures where you might appear a little younger? Thanks...

PS. You spelled Destiny wrong!

Day in Court...

I was just sitting and watching TV, which I do way too much of lately, and suddenly a commercial came on with a familiar face. It was an attorney that advertises regularly for his law office and it brought back a memory that was put away for many years.

On January 17th, 1987 I got married and we just had a civil ceremony at the house. We inquired about getting a Justice of the "Piece" to officiate and found that for mere $75 (then) one would come out to the house. We scheduled it and also invited a number off guests to witness the festivities. My two sons flew in for the event and I recall buying a ton of liquor and had the entire affair catered. All that was left to do was to decorate the house and that was not a big deal. On the day of the event, a man rang my bell and announced that he was the Justice of the Peace. I invited him in and introduced myself to him. He told me his name and that he just lived around the corner, about 7 houses away. We laughed and shared a few minutes together as anyone would do with their neighbor.

Soon it was time to have the ceremony, bite the bullet if you will, and the judge took his place at the front of guests. He performed said ceremony and I invited him to stay for something to eat and he accepted. I'd say he was having a good time and he remained until the guests mostly left and he said goodbye, wished us some much needed luck and walked home. Periodically I'd see him out in front of his house and honk as I went by and would wave. He did the same.

Fast forward about 6 or 8 months and I had purchased a car that needed a lot of bodywork and a complete paint job. I took it to a lot of my usual places for estimates and everyone wanted way too much to effectively get the job done and still generate a profit for me. Then I tried a new place on Bell Rd whose name now escapes me. I talked with who claimed to be the manager and he gave me an estimate that was very agreeable to me. I reiterated that he would do the necessary work and he agreed. So I gave him the go ahead and asked for a ride home.

Way too soon, I received a phone call that my car was ready, so I made arrangements to pick it up and got myself dropped off there. When I got there, there was no one around to speak with and I had already dropped off a check for the full amount. I was literally shocked at the lack of quality of their work. It looked like a couple of inexperienced kids worked on it and literally threw bondo at it from a distance. Anyone could have done a better job. I drove the crippled car home and tried to call the paint shop, but no one would take my call. I asked for a return call that never came. I tried many times to reach them before I stopped payment on my check, but eventually called the bank and did it. Only then did I not receive a call but got a demand letter insisting on payment or a law suite. I called and as usual, they wouldn't answer my call. Expecting a law suite, I took the trouble of taping a yard stick to the side of the car and photographing the area that was so badly repaired. On the driver's side, the car was about 2 inches from flat accenting the poor work. In my eyes, it was a slam dunk case.

On the day of my court appearance, I dressed in a 3 piece navy blue suit and was prepared with photos. As I walked into the courtroom setting, I looked up and to my surprise, there sat Judge Jones, "MY" Justice of the Peace. The body shop explained their case and sadly used a couple of profane words in court. Judge Jones (not his real name) threatened to hold the goofball in contempt of court for his language. After that, I was asked to explain what transpired and while wearing my attorney suit, I think I actually tucked a thumb under my armpit while explaining. I'm not going to say that Judge Jones winked at me, but did give me a look of recognition and found in my favor. Case closed!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Dating Guy is Depressed.........kind of.

Nancy of Utah

I haven't been doing much in the way of dating, but still receive a few emails from time to time from perspective daters. For your visual experience, here are a few of the latest of the bunch.

First lets talk a bit about Nancy. I was previously warned about Nancy from a friend that happened to meet her prior to my making her acquaintance and was literally warned NOT to tread on her, so I didn't. I did happen to see her online one day when I was pretty bored, so I clicked on her to make her one of my favorites and that's all it took. The website notifies her that I made her a favorite and she immediately wrote to me, to thank me. She seemed nice enough so we exchanged phone numbers and took off from there. One Sunday we talked for over 2 hours and I could see where another woman might not care that much for her, since she's very opinionated.

First, she's an Atheist and insists that her beliefs are the correct ones. Not wanting to get into an argument with a new friend, I took the high road and let it drop. Then we ran into the phone tag routine. I know that when she'd call me, I'd consciously ignore her call remembering the first lengthy discussion. I'm sure she did the same.

Today I finally accessed my social situation and decided to call her in spite of my attitude problem. Our discussion immediately went to her telling me that she was issued a parking ticket and by the time the cop was through with her, he had threatened to arrest her and book her into jail. (I wonder if she shared her Atheist stories?) Our phones began giving us problems with periods that she just dropped off of communication and I took advantage of this time to just hang up on her and blamed it on a "dropped call"! I called her back a few minutes later and it went right to voice mail, so I did what anyone would do. I left a message that I'd tried her 3 different times and would call again soon. (I'm done).

Carole Ann

Next was Carole Ann. Carole Ann was Jewish, thin and from Chicago. She also shared the same name as my very first true love, Carole Ann Kennedy, who took my virginity in 1961 during a babysitting engagement. All that for 50 cents an hour!

Somehow or the other, the new Carole Ann got me to tell her of my heart surgery back in 2005 and evidently she thought it was catchy, because her reply was that she was sure I was past all of that now and to be sure to have a nice summer, goodbye! I deleted her email address, wouldn't you?

Cindy of Michigan

Last and certainly least is Cindy of Michigan. Cindy wrote to me and told me that she'd like to get to know me better. Cindy was attractive, blond, looked young for her 59 years and contacted me first, always an advantage. I replied and then didn't hear from her for about 3 weeks, at which time she asked for a little information on me. Not unusual for a stranger. I supplied her with vital statistics and returned her email within 24 hours. Once again I didn't hear back from her, so I wrote to her that: "since she hasn't bothered to respond, I've met someone and gotten engaged and waited a normal amount of time and got married. I almost immediately found that my new wife used to be a guy named Ralph, so we immediately applied for an annulment and that arrived today. So once again I am awaiting her return email..........................kind of."

Evidently Cindy of Michigan enjoyed my little story because she wrote me back that I was funny and do I want to meet? I replied that I'd like that, but we may not live long enough to actually meet and I'm still awaiting her response.

So zip, on the dating scene. Today, just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water, I received this email and now I'm scared all over again. I'll post it here, along with a scary picture for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy, I didn't!


"You are too funny!!! I'm 60 & lovin it. The lizzards are adorable out here. I'm sure you can train em all. Meant to take the light rail to the Spaghetti Factory last year, but just couldn't make it. My friends said it was fun!!! I'll be honest with ya - I have an hour-glass figure, only the sand has settled a bit!! Butt its still GOOD.