Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Dating Guy is Depressed.........kind of.

Nancy of Utah

I haven't been doing much in the way of dating, but still receive a few emails from time to time from perspective daters. For your visual experience, here are a few of the latest of the bunch.

First lets talk a bit about Nancy. I was previously warned about Nancy from a friend that happened to meet her prior to my making her acquaintance and was literally warned NOT to tread on her, so I didn't. I did happen to see her online one day when I was pretty bored, so I clicked on her to make her one of my favorites and that's all it took. The website notifies her that I made her a favorite and she immediately wrote to me, to thank me. She seemed nice enough so we exchanged phone numbers and took off from there. One Sunday we talked for over 2 hours and I could see where another woman might not care that much for her, since she's very opinionated.

First, she's an Atheist and insists that her beliefs are the correct ones. Not wanting to get into an argument with a new friend, I took the high road and let it drop. Then we ran into the phone tag routine. I know that when she'd call me, I'd consciously ignore her call remembering the first lengthy discussion. I'm sure she did the same.

Today I finally accessed my social situation and decided to call her in spite of my attitude problem. Our discussion immediately went to her telling me that she was issued a parking ticket and by the time the cop was through with her, he had threatened to arrest her and book her into jail. (I wonder if she shared her Atheist stories?) Our phones began giving us problems with periods that she just dropped off of communication and I took advantage of this time to just hang up on her and blamed it on a "dropped call"! I called her back a few minutes later and it went right to voice mail, so I did what anyone would do. I left a message that I'd tried her 3 different times and would call again soon. (I'm done).

Carole Ann

Next was Carole Ann. Carole Ann was Jewish, thin and from Chicago. She also shared the same name as my very first true love, Carole Ann Kennedy, who took my virginity in 1961 during a babysitting engagement. All that for 50 cents an hour!

Somehow or the other, the new Carole Ann got me to tell her of my heart surgery back in 2005 and evidently she thought it was catchy, because her reply was that she was sure I was past all of that now and to be sure to have a nice summer, goodbye! I deleted her email address, wouldn't you?

Cindy of Michigan

Last and certainly least is Cindy of Michigan. Cindy wrote to me and told me that she'd like to get to know me better. Cindy was attractive, blond, looked young for her 59 years and contacted me first, always an advantage. I replied and then didn't hear from her for about 3 weeks, at which time she asked for a little information on me. Not unusual for a stranger. I supplied her with vital statistics and returned her email within 24 hours. Once again I didn't hear back from her, so I wrote to her that: "since she hasn't bothered to respond, I've met someone and gotten engaged and waited a normal amount of time and got married. I almost immediately found that my new wife used to be a guy named Ralph, so we immediately applied for an annulment and that arrived today. So once again I am awaiting her return email..........................kind of."

Evidently Cindy of Michigan enjoyed my little story because she wrote me back that I was funny and do I want to meet? I replied that I'd like that, but we may not live long enough to actually meet and I'm still awaiting her response.

So zip, on the dating scene. Today, just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water, I received this email and now I'm scared all over again. I'll post it here, along with a scary picture for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy, I didn't!


"You are too funny!!! I'm 60 & lovin it. The lizzards are adorable out here. I'm sure you can train em all. Meant to take the light rail to the Spaghetti Factory last year, but just couldn't make it. My friends said it was fun!!! I'll be honest with ya - I have an hour-glass figure, only the sand has settled a bit!! Butt its still GOOD.

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