Monday, October 5, 2009

The Lull after the Wedding...

Although I haven't posted anything of late, I have been involved in a relationship with the Lovely Linda for about 3 months now. We have had our ups and downs, but all the while I have remained an important "player" in her life, simply because she hasn't dumped me yet.
In the time that I've known the Lovely Linda, we have divided that time into two separate segments, BW and AW. Those initials representing BEFORE the wedding of her 3rd and youngest daughter and AFTER the wedding of Heidy. As of yesterday, we are officially beginning that second era, indicating the wedding was Saturday in beautiful Sedona.
Here in the aftermath of the wonderful event, let me explain to you a small segment of what I went thru to attend the event some 116 miles from my home. Please understand that I fully realize that my part was only my private event, while LL (Lovely Linda) was the primary hostess of the party completely in charge of planning, orchestrating, nursing, and financing the party, along with the festivities that took place both before the wedding and after the wedding of reserving rooms and keeping guests occupied for an entire weekend. In addition to the obvious things, LL also loves to partake of the artsy craftsie things that make up a wedding. For example she created the wine glasses that the wedding party toasted from by buying square shaped champagne glasses and wrapped wire around the stems and decorated the the wire with beading. As she explained this to me in great detail one evening I couldn't help but wonder who Letterman was having as a guest on TV that night. Life moved on...
At some point I asked what the dress code was, since the event was taking place outside at Oak Creek, down by the water. LL simply told me to wear slack with a nice shirt and quickly hung up the phone. That pretty much left me to my own devices for a wardrobe choice, something that has caused me great grief in the past. I don't think I'd ever been to a wedding that a suit wasn't mandatory attire, but I'd never been to a wedding held at a Creek before either. I racked my brain to come up with a pair of slack with a "nice" shirt. Did she mean a silk type shirt with a Hawaiian scene on it??? I asked about it several times and frankly it wasn't really high on LL's list of priorities, so I worked it out on my own or with the advice of Barry down in Florida. His answer was, do you have a suit? Yes, of course I do. I bought a suit about 10 years ago when I found out the styles changed and I didn't want to get caught with an out of style suit, but haven't had to occasion to wear it just yet. Barry suggested I wear the slacks from the suit. I stopped him saying I have dozens of nice slacks, but they're all pleated and pleats are out of style now. Well Barry was pretty disappointed to hear that. My fashion advisor didn't know as much as me! His idea though, was to wear dress slacks and men our age don't have to worry about latest styles, a nice dress shirt and carry a sports coat. That made more sense to me than just a nice shirt for a wedding. So I took off for my 3 favorite closets. Living alone in a house this big, my stuff is kind of spread out all over the place. I'm sure there's some organization to it, but I just don't know what it is.
Some time in the early 90's I attended a sale at Diamond's Department store that is now known as Dillard's. They were going out of business and had some true bargains. I bought clothes like I was a 20 something fashion model. Shirts and slacks and ties and things I never wore, but one thing that I did get to enjoy was a few pairs of slacks that I normally wouldn't have been able to afford. They were Hart, Shaftner and Marx brand. They're fully lined with a silk inner lining that is so thin, you wouldn't know it was there. I'll bet those slacks cost plenty at full price, but I got them for about $40 then. As for color, they're a dull blue to gray shade and I have a Saks Fifth Avenue shirt I bought some time ago that goes perfectly with them, again in a blue/gray shade. Along with that I own a sport jacket in a light blue/gray pattern and when I put it all together, I looked in the mirror and decided I looked like a janitor ready to fix a leaky toilet! All I needed was a name tag that read MEL. My perfectly designed outfit looked like a workman's uniform. Tearing it all off I was back to the drawing board and went back to a pair of slacks and a "nice" shirt, but that looked like I was headed out to go bowling. Again it was back to the closet of choice for a fresh look. I now know what it feels like to be a 16 year old girl invited out on a first date. What the hell do I wear???
I found a dry cleaner's plastic bag with a pair of slacks inside. Oh, I remember these. They were my favorite slacks before I replaced them for being host to a snag. I forgot the snag until I was already at the wedding, so no problem. They were my taupe slacks. Being color blind, at some point someone told me what taupe was and I liked it. I wore the taupe slacks with a dark brown expensive shirt that someone gave me during a break up a few years ago. She had my house key and sent it back in the pocket of the shirt. I thought it was a nice touch. I also owned a light brown sport coat to carry over my arm, but thought it unnecessary to wear a tie after getting the slacks and a "nice" shirt instructions. Although I was already 90 minutes late leaving, I headed up to Sedona...
After stopping at a Walgreen's to pick up a gift card to slip my check into, I drove the 116 miles North. Wow, what a surprise when I got there? Sedona was commercialized to the point that I HATED it. The 55 MPH speed limit was down to 35 so you could easily pull off to visit the crowded gift shops that lined the roads and some ridiculous circles that allowed every side street equal access to the main highway. The last 15 miles of the ride took almost as long as the first 101...
I followed the instructions and parked in the shopping center call Tellaque Paque and asked the first shop keeper where Los Abrigados was, the resort. She pointed me in the right direction and I chose to walk, as opposed to giving up my parking place and joining the traffic again. I found the hotel, but no one knew where the wedding was taking place. Here I was 90 minutes late and the wedding hadn't started yet according to the hotel. I bummed a ride down to the Creek in a golf cart and spotted Linda's grandson walking along with a lot of people. Guess what! Every man there was wearing a suit and tie!!! Oh, whoa is me. I slipped on my jacket, that just by the grace of God (and Barry) that I even had with me, made a mental note never to listen to LL's dress codes again, hopped out of the golf cart and joined the others walking back to the wedding reception, kind of like I wasn't even late.
I bumped into Linda, our hostess and she recognized me almost immediately with an, "Oh hi"! She looked incredible with a tight brown dress that showed her butt in a good way and full length to the floor. Fortunately, I wore my dancing shoes, because they had hired a disc jockey that played all of the good music from the 60's forward. Linda and I were dancing fools! My poor feet are purple from fighting with the shoes I'd worn. The last time I wore those shoes was my wedding, they were uncomfortable then, as they are now.
After the wedding, I was too tired from dancing to even drive home and Linda let me share the couch she had been sleeping on and I drove home about 5 AM, sneaking out of town without even leaving a smudge on Linda's reputation....

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