Exotic Coconut...

So I'm cruising along one night watching TV and reading a little, when I get an important notice from the dating service that Exotic Coconut wants to meet me. Well, to say that I was honored was an understatement. I'd never met any coconut let alone an Exotic one. So I hopped online and went to my fate. My first reaction was one that was shock. This looked better than the usual old hag that flatters me with attention. That's when I noticed that it said she was 5' 4" and 102. That's pretty thin, right? Wait, 102 wasn't her weight, it was her age! Seems like there's always a catch to the online beauties. She can't be 102 and look like this, so I assume she's joking and really doesn't want to disclose her age. In addition, she had some other pictures that were quite flattering. I wrote to her and we began a dialogue.

It turned out that in spite of her somewhat youthful look, she was really 61, but that's fine, I'm 65. She offered me her phone number and told me that after 4 PM, she would no longer be on call for work and to call. I did. Turned out that she just moved here from Wisc. and was recently divorced from a man that was 41 and she went ahead and explained what a total asshole he was for about an hour. Hmm...... A bit jaded, I'd say. She lives in a foreclosed home for free while a friend of her ex-husband is renovating it, has no furniture including no bed, but does have 3 rescue dogs and had to put down four others this past year due to old age. She was a retired Maricopa County Deputy and had a career in law enforcement, but was doing "other" work currently. When I asked her what sort of work, she got rather testy and would not tell me. So naturally I assumed she worked for the CIA. On a scale from 1 to 10 on conversation, I gave her a 3 or 4. We didn't speak again, but I emailed her that I'd like to meet her, thinking I'd give her the benefit of the doubt considering she had just moved, gotten divorced, lost 4 pets recently and had no real job. Those are a lot of tough things, after all. She told me that she had to work Saturday until after 9 PM, but was free on Sunday. I replied that Sunday would be fine and no pressure and perhaps then she will tell me about her secret job? Immediately she shot off another email full of capital letters. That's SCREAMING in online chat. She told me that her secret job is none of my business and why do I insist on continually asking? I replied only 2 words. "Nevermind Sunday!"