For all intents and purposes, the adorable puppy that we brought home from the Humane Society last month, will from this point forward be referred to as "That Rogue Dog"! Here's what happened...
On more than one occasion, Rogue Dog has terrorized, abominated and otherwise destroyed every stuffed animal that the Lovely Jules had purchased for her or currently owned. She first rips off their faces and then whips them around the room in a mighty fight that she always wins. After, the room resembles the North Pole right before Santa takes off on his run. All white and fresh and clean with crystal clear snow. Our snow is really the efforts of migrant workers picking cotton. Tons of cotton is splayed around the room for Rogue Dog's personal pleasure.
Rogue Dog also has Houdini capabilities as outlined earlier, therefore she is capable of entering locked rooms that would otherwise be off limits to her, such as my bedroom pictured above. It's not a wonderful bedroom, it's rather small and I had the nerve to stuff a king sized bedroom set in there to add to the confusion. Therefore, the room consists mostly of bedroom set and a clothes horse for tossing used clothing, that's not quite ready for the laundry yet. Got all that?
In 1996 I married a woman that it seems that all she wanted from me was a Ralph Lauren King sized flowered bed set of sheets, complete with dust ruffle and shams. For the mere cost of $500 we could be the proud owners of these beauties. Well, the first time I realized she was serious, I kind of blew it off with, "Look, isn't that your sister walking in the mall?" She ran off to see and we exited the department store that had the nerve to ask that much money for frinkin sheets! I let go of a big WHEW and we continued our shopping.
One day at the outlet mall between Phoenix and Tucson, we stopped and wouldn't you know it, the department store had an outlet store there too. How lucky, right? There were the same sheets that she fell in love with for only $350 or something. Naturally, we couldn't pass up such a bargain. Old whats-her-name, was really happy now! To say that I always HATED those sheets was an understatement. They were poorly fit to the bed, loud, obnoxious, and had these hideous ruffles at the end of each edge and you got them caught in your mouth when you snored.
Well, the wife is long gone and all that remains are those stinking sheets. I should have used them to wrap fish in, years ago, but didn't and every time I look in the linen closet, those are the only ones available to use. Well, no more. Getting back to the Rogue Dog....
Rogue Dog has discovered the easy way, that the inside of my pillows has the same cotton that her toys have and she has single handedly attacked and defeated three of the four pillows, pillow cases going first. God bless her, she did what I've wanted to do since day one!
The bed is one of the Sleep Comfort Numbers beds and I have no complaints there, but the picture showcases the poorly fitting sheets and one lonely pillow slip. Next step for the sheets, GARBAGE CAN!