Tuesday, December 20, 2011


I haven't been writing very much of late, the thought of sitting down in front of a computer screen just doesn't appeal to me lately. I was casually sitting on my reclining chair, pivoting between Letterman and Leno when I realized that a bowl of cereal sounded good. I had just watched a commercial about the holidays and how you have to watch your weight, so after arriving in the kitchen, I studied the inventory of cereals. I came across one that didn't look familiar, nor had I ever even heard of it before, perfect. I tried a finger tip of it and it reminded me of a whole grain type and it wasn't sweet at all. It was called "Ezekiel 4:9" and beneath that it said, "As described in the holy scriptures". Hmm.... How bad could it be, it's from Biblical times?

So I poured a generous portion of this shit and on my way to my reclining chair, I knew in the back of my mind it was going to end up in the garbage can. Being the open minded man that I am, I figured I'd give it a chance. If nothing else, it was high in fiber (I think). I settled in and began crunching on this stuff, when I realized the first spoonful was still in my mouth and about 2 minutes had gone by. A commercial came on the TV and I suddenly thought of the desert and wondered what it would be like to take a spoonful of desert sands, complete with milk and sugar and put it into your mouth. That's when I spit the shit out! It was like eating your way out of your grave!

Here it is the first night of Hanukkah and here I am a Jew, eating from the Holy Scriptures. I'm lucky there was no lightning involved!

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