Monday, December 23, 2013

It All Came Tumbling Down...

I was writing an email to my son, explaining what exact type of razor blades I use and finding them has presented me a problem, hinting at what a good present for me would be, when suddenly there was a knock on my front door. I'd don't know if you're like me, but when someone knocks on my door unexpectedly, I usually assume it's a Jehovah's Witness and I prepare to tell them that, "I didn't see the accident", prior to closing the door in their faces! Or, it's someone, somehow, that wants money in one form or another. Whether it's to win a contest at school, or they're selling magazines or candies, or their younger brother! It just never behooves me to answer the door. Throwing caution to the wind, I leap to the door and whip it open to see a strange couple, man and woman, standing there. Shocked somewhat, I wait to hear their spiel. He says, "I'm your neighbor across the street and I just bought a new sofa and it's too heavy for me to lift off the truck by myself, can you help me?" My mind immediately goes to 2005 when some doctor poked a tool through my heart while doing an angiogram, that I probably didn't need. So naturally, I told him I'd love to! Couches are not that heavy and I've moved my own sofas around at times, so why not? I get to meet a neighbor and help someone at the same time, win/win. He didn't even mention once that it was a hide-a-bed type that contains a metal frame and foam rubber mattress. I grab a sweatshirt and walk across the street to where he has a truck backed up almost to his front door. He continues to tell me it's really heavy, but I am thinking, heavy for who? Maybe his little wife, ha ha! Not me, certainly. I lift my end off the truck and walk it backwards towards the front door and think quietly, "this thing is seriously heavy, like 200 lbs heavy! Or, I've weakened considerably in my 67 years?

We reach the threshold and I specifically stop to lift my left foot over the bump and that's when he pushed forward, I think. The next thing I knew the heavy huge, sectional, hide-a-bed, sofa was on top of me and I was obviously lying beneath it. I remember saying that we are going to have to turn it at a certain angle to fit it in the doorway, since it had an attached love seat section, then BOOM, it was on top of me! The guy kept saying, "I told you it was heavy, over and over again. Pretty soon he was lifting it off of me and then I started feeling embarrassed. You know the feeling when someone says, "Hey, your fly is open"? Well, this embarrassment was about 100 times worse! I dropped his new Christmas sofa!

I don't think anyone helped me up. I recall getting up like it was nothing and kept says how sorry I was, that I guess I tripped on the threshold. Then they rushed me out the door for some reason, probably not realizing that the law suit starts when I get home, not at their house! You know, they didn't even come over to see if I were okay or bring me any Christmas cookies!

Here's the moral to my story, "DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR"!

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