How to Make Chicken Broth out of Albertson's Dead Chicken...

Last week Albertson's had chicken breasts, boneless and skinless for $1.49 and pound. Although I don't usually shop at Albertson's, it's only because there is not one close by. I look it up on the Internet and discover one about 6 minutes away, according to Google Maps. I keep their ad on my counter for a few days and wait for my not-so-busy schedule to offer a time slot open for chicken shopping. Alas, on the 7th of Feb, something opens up, I locate the huge food shopping conglomerate easily and enter. I locate the meat counter placed easily within shopping distance and notice that there is a table with pies displayed on my course and pick one up, as I'm dangerously low on pie. That's when I notice that their pies are $5.69 each and they look exactly the same as Fry's pies, for $4.49. Same packaging and everything! I replace the pie back and make a mental note of my savings. (try to picture me tapping my head with my finger noting how bright I think I am for noticing the price difference). I find the dead chicken and make my purchase. The package I choose has about 5 huge breasts in it making my purchase about $1.50 per breast. The expiration date is 2/11 so I've got 4 days to use or freeze them, perfect!

Yesterday, I sliced the breasts thinly and make a marinade of olive oil, lemon juice and Dash for spices and let it sit in the fridge for 24 hours in my $11 plastic bag, as mentioned in previous post. Tonight for dinner, I lit my propane grill and heated the coals, sprayed the grill with butter flavored Pam and place a thin layer of chicken slices evenly across the cooking surface. About a minute later, (and I thought it was running low) my propane ran out and the fire went out! Dammit! (Somehow I always picture it running out right when my steak is perfectly cooked, but it never winds up that way).

Now I carry my half raw chicken into the house and decide to use the toaster oven to finish it off. I recently bought a pan that fit perfectly inside my toaster oven, so I lined it with tin foil and popped it in and waited. About 5 minutes later, I'm prepared to turn my dead chicken over, so as not to over cook it and what do I find? My chicken breasts are floating in water and boiling like mad! It was Chicken broth that Albertson's has injected into their meat products to increase the weight. I felt violated, conned, and still hungry! This is a plot to get more of our money, don't you see?

In addition, the reason that the breasts were so huge was that they were layers that had outlived their usefulness and were slaughtered. They had lived way longer than a spring fryer, that is usually about 6 weeks old when butchered. So, here I am without any real savings, chewing away to swallow my dry, dead chicken that tasted from a hint of lemon and I didn't even have a pie!

There, their heinous secret is out!