Is YOUR Costco, Like MY Costco?

First, my thanks to the nice people in New Orleans and Youngstown, Louisiana for their repeated attendance in reading this old unattended blog of mine. Not too many people are as faithful.

Today's post is more of a rant about people that displease me. Costco in Scottsdale is a great place to find them. It started rather quickly, when I first pulled into the parking lot and although pretty busy, I found a parking place that was just across from the handicapped section, right next to a burgundy Lexus that was almost parked straight, but really at almost a 45 degree angle. How rude! I wasn't even curious to find out who scratched it down it's entire length with a key.

It was a beautiful sunny day here in Scottsdale today (about 80) and I wasn't going to let this older driver change my mind. (When I say older, that means older than me, a month short of 68.) wearing my sunglasses and a bounce in my step. The guard, an older woman that has seen me a thousand times before, asked me to show her my membership card and I told her, " I was breaking into this joint, try and stop me!" She smiled and told me to go along and asked some woman behind if she were with me? Evidently, the stranger said yes, as she too kept walking.

I picked up a few staples, eggs, butter and bagels. (I had cream cheese at home) Suddenly, Around the meat counter I ran into a bottle neck, created by a ruthless driver in a motorized chair, supplied by Costco. Everyone was somewhat frustrated by this woman that stopped right in the middle of the isle and no one could pass from either direction. On my left, passing on the wrong side of the isle and willing to run down anyone in her path, a woman about 55 went shooting through. Throwing caution to the wind, I got on her tail, floored it and followed. Suddenly, she slammed on the cart breaks and stopped to talk to a woman that she knew, leaving me almost rear ending her. (She never even knew it). As I was passing her, she must have had enough of her friend and pulled out without using a signal or even looking and crashed right into me! Fortunately no one was hurt. I shook my finger at her and said, "You didn't even signal"! She replied, I don't have to, I was just going straight!" Crisis averted, I pulled out... but still thinking I should have asked her for her license, insurance and registration!

I know how to make lemon chicken. It's a fact. I use olive oil and lemon juice and most of the spices from the bottom shelf (omitting nutmeg) at my old house. Since my former roommate stole everything that wasn't nailed down, I no longer have any of my spices or pots and pans for marinating, so I figured if I bought those one gallon plastic freezer bags with the zip top, that should suffice. Being that I was at Costco, I wound up with 75 of them. Now all I need is someone to take my extra 74 and give me back my $11.

I was out of water so I did manage to buy 3 cases of 40 bottles each, so instantly my cart got pretty heavy. I checked out and when I got to the ladies that check to see if you stole anything at the front door, I realized that I had wanted to buy one of their frozen pizzas. I think they cost about 9 bucks but really pretty good. The lady at the door offered to watch my stuff, but between you and me, I think she had her eye on my butter! In addition to not trusting her, I didn't think a frozen pizza was worth going through the check out line again, so I just left.

As I walked to my car, that was in the perfect parking place, (except for the Lexus that was still there all cock-eyed). I tried to put the water into my trunk but driving a Volvo convertible, I sacrifice trunk space for the convertible top. So I walked to the side of the car and opened my passenger door ever-so-slowly, so as not to hit the stupid Lexus, that was parked well into my spot. I walked back to my cart and lifted the 45 lbs of water and approached my side door. Just then, this old woman comes limping up carrying an 18 pack of eggs and says she'd like to get into her car. In other words, she was way more important than me, a man carrying a case of water. I couldn't help myself, I told her that if she parked like a normal person, we wouldn't be having this talk! I walked the water back to my cart and closed my door for her not to be inconvenienced. I think it was then that I thought of all the things I should have said! She then backed out of the parking place and I noticed that she didn't move. I thought maybe a heart attack, (this woman was over 80), as traffic began getting irritated and honking. I looked into her car though her windshield and there she was reapplying her lipstick!