Oh, Those Little Italian Barbers

It's been about 6 weeks since my last haircut and certain people have mentioned that I'm starting to look a little shaggy, so I figured I've got time today, why not get a haircut? I was almost exuberant going to my new barber shop. The fact that I didn't have to call and make an appointment and drive all of the way to Ernie pleased me. I drove the 3/4 mile to my new barber shop and was actually looking forward to seeing my little Italian barbers. I don't think the guy that cut my hair last time was over 5' 4". I entered and was immediately seated and I think my little barber remembered me too. He asked me what I was there for and I WAS going to reply a Suzie Parker Page Boy, but decided to play it straight for once. Before I could even answer, he asked if I wanted to just clean it up. That sounded good to me. Yes, I'll take a clean up, I replied. Do I want any off the top, he asked? I became suspect of this question, why, weren't other men taking anything off the top? I wanted stuff off the top too and hoped he wouldn't charge me extra..

This is around the time that it started happening. He put an electric clipper in my ear and I could barely hear him, but I thought he asked me if I had any family in CA? I screamed, no. He said they are having an awful time there with the fires, I screamed, yes! He asked me if I knew it was all from arsonists, I screamed, yes! Then he went ahead and told me his theory on the arsonists being hired by Al Quida and this is all a plot of Osama Bin Ladens and this is a direct result of the breakdown of the American family and that Hollywood is the reason for all of the unrest in this country. He was better off never leaving Sicilli and President Bush should be impeached! (I threw the thing about Bush in myself).

By the time I left, I was drained from trying to hear him over the electric tools he used and staying on his better side. I learned long ago, "NEVER DISAGREE WITH A BARBER THAT IS CUTTING YOUR HAIR AND CERTAINLY DON'T PISS HIM OFF"... That should be written in stone somewhere!

I guess next month I'll be calling Ernie, making an appointment and begging his forgiveness....