Monday, August 20, 2012

Damn AT&T...

Here's a short one for you. Last night about 11 PM I got an email from some woman on Plenty of Fish, a dating service. Let's call the lady Joy, because that was her name. Is that supposed to be short for Joyce? My mind immediately went reeling back to the 4th grade where I learned the little poem, "At the Christmas party all the boys were feeling merry (Mary) and when she left, everyone jumped for Joy!"

So Joy wrote to me and told me she'd like to meet me. Although I didn't find Joy too attractive, looks at my age may be secondary to a nice personality. Assuming the looks are not horrid! Joy fell somewhere in between. Buck toothed, good body, but mentions booty calls right in her profile. Never a good topic for a nice girl to mention to the public. Making good choices is important at 55, Joy's age.

After some casual emailing this morning I asked for her telephone number and she supplied it to me. In her profile she says she used to be a nurse, but now she's a massage therapist and has more time for dating. I'm thinking that having a retired nurse around in case of an emergency is wise and who could complain about their girlfriend being a massage therapist? 

The next thing that happened was kind of funny. I push the proper button and tell Siri to call Joy on her mobile phone. Siri replies, "I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE OR JOY" Then she tells me to check on my name under "connections". I give her one more chance before firing the bitch and replacing her with a robot named Stella, when Siri says, "CALLING JOY'S MOBILE PHONE". I was glad to see that Siri came to her senses! Sound like a little employee descention to you? 

Joy answers and she's one of those fast talkers. She runs her words together like a teenager full of hormones. I can't understand a word she's saying, plus she has me on speaker phone for more distortion. She says, hold on I'll run you through my speaker system. Oh grand, I would have said, "Oh joy", but was afraid I'd confuse you. I enter into a conversation with her and all the while I'm thinking, "This is not going to work"! I ask her how she wound up being a massage therapist after a career in nursing? She tells me they took her license away from her for borrowing $1200 from a patient to get her car fixed, but that was in Washington. Then Arizona found out about it and they took her nursing license too. So naturally she took up massage therapy. 

Now I'm thinking, when I want to stay on a conversation, the call always drops. Why doesn't it drop when I want it to? Like right now! Suddenly, the coward that I am, I clicked on "end" and ended the call. She called right back and I turned chicken and answered it. I explained how I'm having soooo much trouble with my new iPhone and listened to her ramble on some more. I tried interrupting to ask a question, but she spoke louder and over me. I looked at my phone and kind of said sorry to it and hung up again.... Joy called back 3 more times and left voice mails that I deleted. Then I shot her off a text explaining that I was having "issues" and I'd have to get back to her ..............................NEVER! 

I sent her an email on the dating site that I didn't feel that we were compatible and wished her luck.

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