Thursday, September 6, 2012

A Donkey is NOT a Race Horse!

                                          This is what I ordered.

                                           This is what I got!

Let me begin this post with letting you know that currently I'm no bargain. I'm 66 years old, have shrunk, lost weight due to health issues and have been single without the regular company of a woman for 10 years. I feel that I may be a tad biased in my opinions, but that's okay, I accept that. Let's face it, I have no choice. Yet I continue to think that somewhere out there in "dating-land" there is a woman for me. I'm a less than active member of and Plenty of Fish, but when Match expires my membership, I'm not renewing. Plenty of Fish is free, so who really cares?

Last night I met a woman for a date from POF. I feel comfortable posting her picture because very few people read this rag anyway. For me, this is just a way to get this stuff off my chest. Therapeutic, if you will?

Her name was Sue and she was of Jewish descent and from Queens, New York, but assured me she had lost her NY accent long ago and she had. She was short, 5 feet tall, according to her statistics online and a dog trainer, owning 5 dogs of her own. Already we had tons in common aside from our heights. For the majority of my adult life I was 6' 1" and recently hopped onto the scale the doctor's office and measured myself while waiting for him and learned I'd lost 1 1/4 inch. (Thank goodness it was only in my height!) So already I'm about a foot taller than her. My first wife was about 5' 1" tall and the only problem we ever had was while slow dancing, her nose wound up in my armpit! Moving forward....

So Sue was full of life and funny and kept up with me pretty good. She was aggressive and finally blurted out, "You taking me out for Chinese food tonight or what"? My mind went instantly to my stomach and then to House Special Chicken that I have been forbidden to eat due to it's sodium content. Throwing caution to the wind, I made a date with this short beauty to meet me at my favorite Chinese Restaurant, China Village at 27th Street and Indian School Road. That was far for both of us, but she was willing to go anywhere for Chinese food (I guess). We agreed to meet there at 7 PM and she would be driving a blue Thunderbird convertible (Wow).

As I pulled into the restaurant, right on time, the spot next to the blue T-Bird was open and I slid in there. She was just getting out of her car and I think she had a booster seat. This woman was not 5 feet, but more like about 4' 8" and her arms and legs seemed a little short for the rest of her. She was wearing dark glasses in spite of the fact that it was almost dark. She ignored me as we walked in, so I said something to her and sure enough, she took off the glasses and I about fell down. This is going to sound cruel, but if you've been doing something for as long as I have and continually get disappointed, you'll understand. I felt like I had ordered a mail order race horse and they sent me a donkey!

She was certainly nice enough and I didn't mention my disappointment or her height. We ordered dinner and she literally ate one bite and quit. There sat $13 worth of Cashew Chicken getting cold and growing a skin on the gravy portion. I ate my house special chicken, knowing my blood pressure would sky rocket and not because of her!

We walked out of the restaurant and she wouldn't approach her car door and that confused me. Did she think I wanted to kiss her? I didn't! I walked to the front of her car and I put out my hand and said goodnight, shaking her hand. She hopped into her car and immediately put her top down and yelled, "You gonna put yours down too"? I opened my window and yelled, "No, too hot". She drove up the 51 North, the same direction as me. I purposely stayed back a few car lengths, as I didn't want to see if she drove with a child's booster seat!

Just so I don't seem insane to you. She didn't post the second picture until AFTER our date.

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