Tuesday, September 4, 2012

It's Finally Effin Gone!

It seems to me that I've been selling one thing or another, all of my life. Dealing with people was what I wanted to do, ever since school. I guess by now I'm getting pretty good with it, but let's face it, my selling life is almost over. My latest endeavor was to sell my old Blackberry. I tried eBay and was horribly disappointed. E-Bay is host and hostess to every schemer, crook and con man in the entire world and I think at one time or another I spoke with all of them! I posted my beloved Blackberry four different times and the first three times my buyer was excommunicated from the selling block at eBay, due to my reporting them as non-payers. Finally, this week my Blackberry never even got a bid, showing me all the crooks were gone!

A couple of days ago, I placed an ad on Craig's List and got some young girl texting me, asking, "U got BB's? Wat kind? Rather than trying to explain everything through texting to this texting expert, I called the number it came from. She answered and I told her my entire story. How I upgraded after just getting the Blackberry and it was truly in new condition and only $175. After listening to everything I said, she replied, "I only got a hundred". I asked her if her father would loan her $75 and she didn't know. We hung up and the following day, I get a text that said, "U got BB's? I replied, "We did this last night"! She said, "I 4got".

This evening, at about 6 PM, I got another text from a different phone number asking about my Blackberry. "Still got the BB"?
Me: Yes.
Him: Any dents or scratches and what's your last price?
Me: No dents or scratches and the price is firm. I waited, but no reply after 5 minutes.
I figured, what the hell, I'll play with him.
Me (again): Were you looking for one with dents and scratches?
Him (5 minutes later) No.
Me: What price did you want to pay?
Him: $125
Me: How about we split it in the middle at $150 and if you will call me, I'll guarantee the phone to be perfect. Ten seconds later my phone rang. My point is, the hardest way in the world to sell anything is to do it while texting. You cannot look into their eyes and use intimidation. It puts the buyer on an even level with an experienced seller, truly.

Suddenly the young man was in charge. I suggested we meet up tomorrow and make our deal, but he wanted it tonight! I explained that only cash will be accepted and he said he needed time to go to the bank. He lived in Tempe and wanted me to meet him there, but I've been here too long to go for that. That was 30 minutes from me and 5 minutes from him. We agreed upon Indian School and the 101, at the Shell station. Twenty minutes from then, about 6:30. 

I sprayed some Plaster of Paris on my hair and was about to head out, when I realized I was meeting a total stranger from Craig's List with nothing but my beloved Blackberry. What if he hit me over the head and stole it? So I went for my pistol and put it into my side pocket of my shorts, recalling the concealed weapon law they passed here in AZ. Suddenly, I realized I was putting myself in a life or death choice by carrying a gun over a $150 item and put it back in the dresser and left. Up to this point, I had only dealt with crooks, why should this go any differently and was expecting the worst? He told me he would be driving an 05 Camry, so when I arrived at our destination I called him and assured me he would be there in 3 minutes and was. In pulls a dirty, dark gray Camry, all dented up and my worries began. He waved after pulling in right next to me and I waved back and got out. He was a black man, about 24 years old and stood less than 5 feet tall. I already knew he had a small accent, so I decided he was a Pigmy. The transaction could not have gone smoother. He handed me the cash and I gave him the box containing the phone. He opened it and was pleased. He said, "When I saw your ad explaining that you were a retired gentleman selling your phone, I knew it would be in great shape, because old people really take care of their shit!" I smiled and left. Done deal!

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