Thursday, October 24, 2013

Surprise Arizona, a Horrible Place to Die...

My day started badly and progressively got worse. That's a horrible way to start any day, but if you read on you'll understand. I had been speaking with a woman that lived close and in spite of the fact that she was not attractive to me, she seemed nice. I made a date with her to ride along with me to Surprise Arizona, where I would pick up my deceased son's personal effects. To get to this point was no easy task, as the police department was less than helpful, every step of the way. Here's a fact, "The Surprise Police DO NOT return calls"! Unless you break a law, you will not hear from them.........period!

Shortly after my son's demise, I contacted the Surprise cops to ask what I needed to do to find out his cause of death, as he was found in a Surprise hotel room, dead. The officer after many tries, finally called me back to tell me that the procedure is, that they send out his blood to two separate labs in two separate parts of the country for analysis and if they agree, it should only take about 3 months to get the results, however if they differ, it will take 4 months for the final results, due to a third test. He assured me that they would call me immediately after they were returned. Three months came and went and no return call, so I assumed it would take 4 months and continued to wait. after 4 months, still no call, so I began my quest to contact them. I began calling and leaving messages on 10/3 and left several voice mails for the detective department, but nothing. Finally, I called and spoke with what I assumed was a desk clerk and he asked me several questions and told me to call an additional number and that would be the detective in charge of the case. Two days later, she returned my call and told me that the desk clerk was wrong, she was NOT on that case, so it was back to step one. Then she gave me the number of another detective who WAS on the case, but was on vacation for a few days. A few days later, detective number 2 calls me and tells me that she is indeed the correct person, but I need to call the evidence department and make an appointment and she proceeded to give me the case number and told me I needed to call and set up a time, but they told me that they were there all day and was I coming today, Thursday. I said, yes! She said, see you tomorrow and I hung up.

Back now to my drive along date with the woman. We agreed, since she had a Meet-Up date with a group of people that enjoy Ethiopian food (WTF?) she wouldn't be available until 1:30 or so. At about 1:15 she calls and sounds like she's confused. Our prior agreement was that she would ride with me to Surprise to get to know one another. (Sure beats driving alone, I thought) She told me she lived only a block from my old address, so when she called, I asked for her street number on Paradise Lane. She was reluctant to give that to me and wanted to meet somewhere. I said, okay, how about the Circle K at the corner. She said, wonderful. Then she asked where we would go? I said, Surprise, to pick up my son's belongings. She said, I'll just follow you! I'm thinking that although she is a nurse, she's certainly not a brain surgeon! I calmly explained that it would defeat the purpose. The purpose being that we could ride and talk. She said she didn't feel comfortable riding along in the same car. I explained that it would have been nice if she'd told me that hours ago, instead of having me wait all morning for her to stuff starving people's food into her mouth and what kind of people eat Ethiopian food, if you're not Ethiopian? I hung up and angrily hopped into my car mumbling stuff...

Now for the looooon boooooring ride to a place called Surprise, Arizona. I arrived in Surprise.......surprise, but could not for the life of me locate the police department. I considered breaking a few laws to get noticed and have the police come to me, but decided it was not in my best interest. I found a shopping center and it had a Walmart, but I couldn't find a greeter or anyone that spoke English and decided to search some more. Having the address was useless. Where the address took me, AND my cell phone GPS, was just a block wall, that ran for blocks. I found an unmarked driveway that looked to me like a construction site and low and behold, there was the address written on a building way back from the street and it said 17274 and "Evidence". That was it! It had several doors, but they were all locked, plus I imagined walking in and several cops pulling out their guns and yelling, "GET ON THE GROUND", then firing at me. At the back of the secret building, there was a single door and above it, it said Entrance. Finally, my journey looked like it was coming to an end. With me, I had the death certificate, as instructed and my personal identification. I entered a small block room, about 7 X 7 and a bullet proof glass window like the tellers have and a motel bell with no one around. I dinged the bell and a nice young lady entered and said, hello. "Do you have ID?" I was about to say, yes, when she said she didn't need it, she knew who I was because of my 3 o'clock appointment. I asked how she knew I was her 3 o'clock appointment because I was told I didn't need an appointment, just to come in. The girl said, "Oh my!" I said I was there to pick up my deceased son's effects and she said, she works in another department, the girl that's allowed to go into the evidence room in not here. I'm starting to boil again and this time I'm not going to mumble! As I was planning my attack on the Surprise Police Department, she interrupted me and said, the girl I need to see has a 3 PM appointment and she knows she'll be back by then. It was a long ride to Surprise and I asked if I could use their bathroom? She said, it's across the street at Walmart, sorry. I had an hour to kill anyway, why not? I left walking with my legs very close together and headed to Walmart, when I realized that this may just be the Walmart that all the hideous pictures and jokes were taken at! Walking across the parking lot were 3 young ladies with their yoga pants so tight, that I think I spotted a hemorrhoid!

Once I entered Walmart, I realized that they had their Halloween costumes on sale and considered buying a clown costume so I'd fit right in with the Surprise Police! Instead, I saw there was a McDonalds and decided a quick "pick me up" was in order. I used the restroom and watched some really freaky people eating. Checking the time, I realized I'd killed enough of it and headed back to the Evidence department. I already mention that the 7 X 7 room was made from block, but I didn't mention the awful acoustics if offered. It was like being in an echo chamber or trying to use a cell phone with AT&T as your carrier! VERY ANNOYING to speak and hear your own voice bounce back at you. Maybe that's how they keep people form screaming at them. As I walked in this time, I was greeted by a young lady in uniform and I was pleased to see some professionalism, finally. But I came to my conclusion too soon. It was not a good sign that this lady knew who I was and started back-stepping immediately about a small problem. She cannot release some of the evidence, as it is an ongoing case. I asked what piece of evidence it was and she replied, his cell phone. I said, that's fine, keep the cell phone. Then she told me that detective Stoopid never signed off on anything and she cannot get in touch with her and how does she know I'm who I claim to be anyway? I said, Duh, because I have ID and the Death Certificate! That's when I realized she was not authorized to release anything to anyone and it really wasn't her fault. I told her that only one word comes to mind when reviewing this entire incident and that word is "UNPROFESSIONAL"! Frowning she agreed. She told me I was welcome to wait, I laughed. What exactly am I waiting for? She replied, you're waiting for detective Stoopid to call and release everything. I smiled and told her that I'm here to pick up these things, because it's the right thing to do. Not because I want a suitcase of soiled clothing from my dead son. I told her when it's finally released, to just throw it away and left.

I was going to suggest that the Surprise Police should exchange their uniforms for clown costumes, but kept it to myself.

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