Saturday, July 12, 2014

Underwear Shopping, Ugh!

The time has creeped up again and it's come to my attention that it's time to buy some new underwear. There is nothing pleasant about this task, but necessary. As a man, I usually stand in front of a display showing the newest styles in men's underthings and between you and I, it's one of the worst jobs a single man has to perform, almost as bad as grocery shopping! I read somewhere that a man usually buys new underwear about once a year..........bull! That must be a quote from a men's underwear manufacturer. I get new underwear when the cloth separates from the waistband and you feel a draft. Enough about me...

Here's another reason that steered me to Marshal's for new underwear. It's close and things seem to be reasonably priced there and it's full of women shoppers to try to strike up conversations with, basically a men's hunting ground. Also I went to Marshal's because Costco's selection was rather limited, (Ya hear that Costco?) Plus I've been buying my underwear at Costco for many years and it seems that all they have are the semi-boxers made of cloth that come halfway down your thighs. It's summer in Scottsdale and that last thing I want is a second layer of cloth on my legs when it's 110 degrees. So, ideally what I was looking for were briefs in colors, not "tightie whities".

Once I entered Marshal's in North Scottsdale, it took me about 6 or 7 minutes to stroll through the women's things to even locate the men's underwear rack, then figure out the layout so as not to purchase size XXXL. I found my way to the men's mediums, size 32 to 34 and dived in. The first ones I saw were and amazing 5 pair to a box and were only $9.95. Bingo! Why look further? The picture above was on the front of the packaging and the whole thing was packed up neatly with a zipper around the packaging. I'm sold. I make it to the cashier's, pay and leave. 

Now I've been wearing underwear since I've been out of diapers and I'm 68 now. That's a long time in underwear. I wear them everyday, always unless I'm wearing a bathing suit, the only exception. My mechanic doesn't wear underwear and every time he squats down to check something, he shoots out a plumber's crack and I'm always sorry I didn't just look away...

So I get home with my new acquisition and go about my business, tossing the plastic bag on top of the dresser and make a sandwich. Shopping is tough work! Eventually, I go to the dresser and open the packaging to put away my new underwear and to my shock, my $2 briefs are made of nylon and DO NOT HAVE A FLY!!! Men's underwear ALWAYS  have flies! My mind floods with thoughts, but all I can think of, are men's panties. I can't return them because I am not going to have the conversation with a 17 year old high school girl that handles returns about men's flies and why they are suppose to have them! It was only 10 bucks. I've gone to the trouble of taking a photo of a pair for your inspection. How was I to know??? Plus I thought the six-pack came with the briefs!

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