An interesting day took place, that I thought was worthy of mention in my otherwise dull life. Life is presented to us in different phases and this just happens to be one of my scheduled commercial interruptions. Mine began with my heart event that took place almost six years ago, others are jump started by things like cancer diagnoses, loss of a loved one or simply falling off a ladder, but as silly as that seems, who would do that? So to break up my otherwise tranquil day, I called the Lovely Jules and asked her to have lunch. We started out at my new location and Jules began by mentioning that I only eat at 6 different restaurants, which do I want to eat at this day? Taking exception to her rather bold comment, I questioned her as she rattled off the 6 places I allow myself to be fed and she was right, come to think of it. She suggested someplace different for a change. Since it was clearly her turn to buy, we decided she should be entitled to choose the destination. We passed a Denny's and she commented we could eat there. I pretty much poo pooed her suggestion without using words, but just using my face for my reply. She agreed it was a bad idea. Driving East on Bell Rd. we passed a KFC and a Village Inn, no and no. At the corner of Scottsdale Rd and Frank Lloyd Wright is a place that advertises that I've only been to once on a date from hell and never did eat anything there, while my date literally stuffed her mouth like a squirrel getting ready for winter. Charlestons!
We pulled in and even the handicapped parking was full. My first reaction is, was this a national holiday where people were off from work? No, this is just how Scottsdale is during the recession. It was MOBBED! Scottsdale people LOVE recession, it makes them hungry! A little tiny girl that was about a foot shy of being considered short, seated us as we settled into a booth. It was lovely, commented the Lovely Jules, as she made her broken wing more comfortable releasing one of the tightness adjusters. Remember when you were a kid and they put you into a cast to protect your broken arm? Well, it seems that's all over now. Now you get a removable type bandage that can be taken off for showering and such.
Here comes our waitress, who has never said no to a bowl of ice cream. Jules insisted that she was a college student that was just overeating for finals, but I spotted make up in her wrinkles left over from 1962! Not only was she plump, but the worst waitress ever in history. No eye contact and ignored LJ's request for a slice of lemon in her water........twice! Without an explanation, she brought me 2 Diet Cokes. I guess it was their policy. Now just because Scottsdale was not in a recession, we still were and discussed leaving after seeing how proud they were about their food, by their prices! Jeez, a French dip was $16! I spotted the Avocado and chicken sandwich for $12 and suggested we split it. LJ was all over that, as it was still her turn to buy. I also know that Jules is not a good eater and I'd get most of the sandwich eventually and did!
We ordered and waited and eventually a couple were seated direct across from us. We nodded and did a silent hello. She was an older woman, about 65 and he was about 45 and quite gay. You could just see it and hear his partial lisp. He also ordered the Avocado chicken sandwich, but was lucky enough to get his own. From this point on we just ate and chatted and enjoyed our post recession environment, when suddenly the gentleman sitting across from us started to choke! He choked and gagged and was quite speechless when the woman with him yelled for someone to help. Not knowing anything about CPR or CPA, I jumped into action, first loosening his collar and then grabbing him from behind and doing what I thought was the Heimlich maneuver. I'll be a son of a gun, but it worked! He was gasping for air, but clearly his airway was now opened. People gathered around and cheered us both. We were suddenly celebrities! Just then an ambulance arrived and along with it came a crew of news reporters and we were both interviewed and appeared on 3 network stations during the 5 PM news. It was unbelievable. The best part was, we NEVER paid the check!
The last paragraph was mostly made up, but really I had to because it was getting unbelievably boring.