On the Saturday before the Wednesday that was Halloween, late in the afternoon, I noticed a full moon in the desert sky. For those of you that don't live in AZ, the moon always comes out during full daylight. When I first moved here in 1974, I was shocked to see it, having come from Chicago. In addition, we have the most spectacular sunsets I've ever seen anywhere.
Beginning on that Saturday night around midnight it all started. I can only attribute it to the full moon, there is no other explanation for it, but between midnight on Saturday, until Tuesday afternoon, I was contacted by at least 23 different women, from misc. dating services. I'm never that popular, ever! Now don't misunderstand, they were not the type that I reply to and the average age was probably around 66 or 67, but a few were youthful, like 48 and 52. To my 66 years, that's YOUNG! The 48 year old was a bit too plump and the 52 year old was in a wheelchair. Now that's a situation that I've not encountered before. The chubby girl I just ignored, but I felt compelled to answer the lady in the wheelchair. Her 2 emails to me and there were 2 right in a row, she said she loved my sense of humor and in her second she just asked if I looked like my pictures. I gave her reply a lot of thought. Here's what I decided on. If I were involved with a woman and she fell victim to something that put her into a wheelchair, I certainly would not abandon her, but I just couldn't see myself buying into a relationship with someone that could not walk. It may be selfish, but it's the way I felt. Ask yourself that question and see what you get.
Here's another thing. When I looked at her picture on my iPhone, she looked okay. However when I looked at her on my full sized computer, I realized she was made up so severely with makeup, that she looked like Maaco had done the job! I checked to see if she were Hispanic, as her hair was too black and her lips were a bright red that kind of scared me. If she weren't in a wheelchair, I don't think I'd be interested anyway. Her emails to me were just one liners, so I replied to her and I was just trying to be funny, "Does this mean I'll have to do all the grocery shopping?" I wanted to let her know that I did see she was in a chair, but that's not necessarily a deal breaker, although it was. Her reply shocked me. "I can do my own shopping, thank you very much"! I guess she didn't have much of a sense of humor after all.
Next was the Viola player, my very first. I think her name was Patty and she played for the Phoenix Symphony Orchestra and traveled all over the country and even Canada. She retired from that and was a full time Yoga instructor and massage therapist. She was supposed to be 56, but had no picture posted. I've been doing this long enough to not fall for that one. She did however refer me to a website for the company she was employed by and explained I should click on "staff" and she was the one on the bottom right. I finally found her picture and it was really too small to see what her face looked like, but she was not chubby and seemed to have long blond hair. I tried everything to see her, like blowing up the picture, but it lost so much resolution that I could hardly make out her mustache! She listed blond hair and was quite insistent on just meeting me and not emailing or speaking on the phone. I have a personal rule that I insist normally on doing some socializing prior to meeting, just because it's so awkward when there is nothing to talk about. I'm too set in my ways anyhow, so throwing caution to the wind, I agree to meet her for lunch. Guess where? That's right. My favorite Chinese restaurant on Indian School Rd. She lived in Arcadia, so perfect.
I pressed my only clean shirt and put on my tan Costco jeans and was dressed to kill. I even put on my cologne that LJ bought me 5 years ago. On the way down there, my son Brad called and wanted to meet me for lunch. I told him I was having lunch with a lady and he said, "So it will just be the three of us?" Where does he get that twisted sense of humor? I hung up and pulled in right on time, as she was getting out of her car. The minute I laid eyes on her, 2 things immediately hit me. She did not have blond hair, but it was light grey and mostly white and she was older than 56. We introduced ourselves to each other. She had been married for 31 years to a gentleman that was an alcoholic and was freshly divorced (probably just separated). He was the trumpet player with the symphony and cheated on her. She didn't say he did, I could sense it in her attitude. I asked myself, he's been an alcoholic for all those years and she just now found it necessary to divorce him? That's odd. She has 3 children and they all lived in New York. At some point I mention to her that I could not recall her age and looked at her waiting for an answer. She just looked at her food and didn't answer anything.
Without breaking stride, she volunteered that one of her daughters is a lesbian and is happily married to a woman. I choked a little bit on my cashew chicken, but I think it was just bad timing. The fact is, that I actually liked her, but she wasn't for me. When I decide that my date is not to my liking, I usually blurt out my story about how I was stabbed through the heart by the insane doctor, minimizing my chances of her contacting me. It's usually a deal breaker. Yes, I told that story intentionally.
Here's something that I really didn't care for. There was hurricane Sandy hitting the East coast like a bomb invasion, so when her daughter called from NY, I have absolutely no problem with her taking the call. I sat there politely and when the call dropped and the daughter called back, I still had no problem with it. I excused myself and went to the rest room. Her calls kept dropping and on the eighth call, she continued to chat about non essential things for about 15 minutes and that was just rude.
Things are back to normal now, an occasional woman contacts me, maybe 2 or 3 a day, usually in their late 60's or early 70's, just looking for young stuff! That's me...
Friday, November 2, 2012
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