Sunday, November 11, 2012

Suddenly I Remembered Patty!

The year was 1991 and I had just carried my second wife out of the house over my shoulder. After a drunken display that alerted the police to our residence, I'd finally had enough and realized I couldn't help her. I delivered her to her daughter's home over my shoulder and when she sobered up we were separated and only 65 days away from a divorce, according to Arizona law.

About a month before that, I took a long walk one spring evening, about 5 miles. During that walk, I talked to God about my problem with her and asked for His help. Thirty days later the situation occurred that took place and it was crystal clear to me what I had to do. In appreciation for His help, I promised not to attempt to bother another woman for a long, long time and I didn't.

The neighborhood where I lived around 36th Street and Bell Rd. was changing and not for the better. There had been a drive by shooting just 5 doors down from me and that was enough to signal me that it was time to go. Sadly I loved that house and was reluctant to move, but knowing that my son Brad was moving to AZ. to live with me, it was for the best. After listing it with a Realtor and being disappointed with the outcome, I decided to try to sell it myself. I'd spent my entire life in sales, why couldn't I sell my own house? I had a sign made up and planted it in the front yard and scheduled a few open houses on a few consecutive Sundays. I met lots of people and a lot of Realtors along with them. 

One Sunday, there was a knock at the door and there stood a tall, thin gorgeous blond haired lady, all dressed up in her church going clothes. She asked if she could view the house and I immediately asked if she were a Realtor. She said no, she was looking for something for herself and her children. I warmly invited her in. I asked a few questions, mostly trying to qualify her and it surfaced that her brother in San Diego wanted to buy a house in the Scottsdale area for an investment and she was going to live in it. Seemed likely enough.

Being a single man that had been alone for some time now, I couldn't help but notice that her stature was rather attractive. She was about 5' 10" and very thin, except for her chest that seemed too large for her. Frankly, I had a hard time looking her in the eye! After our tour, she started making going away noises and handed me her business car and told me if I had any questions, to call her. I explained that I didn't need her card, that if she was interested in the house to just call me. She reiterated and insisted I keep her number, just in case there was anything I thought of that needed an answer. Still not getting her meaning, I watched her sexy body walk out my door. Keep in mind, I'm only human.

A day or 2 went by and I got a call from Patty, asking if it was okay if she brought her father by to look at the house. They all lived just blocks away as it turned out. Twenty minutes later they were at the door. During that 20 minutes, I was thinking, this might actually go somewhere, as far as selling my house. I had already left a deposit on a brand new house in North Scottsdale, that I was anxious to move in to.

Patty and her dad Doug rang the bell and I greeted them. I gave them the grand tour and I got the feeling that Dad was just a prop. He didn't have anything to say and they left without saying much at all. A little while later I called Patty and asked what her dad thought about the house and she said he said it was too high in price. I remember her asking me if I'd like to go out with her for coffee to discuss it and I did!

In 1991, I had been a non-smoker for about 4 years and Patty smoked. I found that very annoying and was always just a hand movement away from putting one of her cigarettes into my mouth and that was dangerous. Patty and I dated for a while and she always smelled like an ash tray. Lets talk a little now about Patty. I was 46 at the time and Patty was 32 and had 4 children. Two from her first husband, that he had custody of, a third from a guitar player she'd met and the 4th was a 10 month old baby boy named Alex from a Mexican gang member, although Alex had blond hair and blue eyes, just like Patty. Alex also had a hole in his heart and was awaiting open heart surgery. A cuter little boy you'd have a hard time finding, but if he got too excited he'd start to turn blue. 

Patty's boobs were new and she made monthly payments on them, but they were magnificent! I asked her why she got such big ones and she laughed and said, "I have to make the payment every month, I may as well get my money's worth". Patty started hanging around my house a lot after that. She almost lived there, If she hadn't had had 2 kids living with her, she probably would have. Now Brad was in route to Arizona at the time and he and his buddy Eric that took the ride out with him rang the bell. Patty ran to answer it wearing her bikini. When she opened the door, Brad was dumbfounded and thought he had the wrong house. I remember he kept stuttering and both boys just kept looking straight at her chest.

One night we were having dinner. Patty didn't cook. I did all the cooking which can be dangerous. After dinner I kind of expected Patty to clean up, since she was around so much. She got up and said, I'll take care of the dishes, at which time she took the 2 plates off the table and put them into the sink and went outside for a smoke. After I washed the dishes, I joined her. It was a beautiful night and we were sitting on the patio enjoying the evening breeze. I was looking up at the stars thinking, if she were around any more than she was already, I'd probably have to kill her! That's when she said, "A penny for your thoughts". I looked at her for a second and contemplated telling her the truth. I just said, "I was just thinking about how it would be if you were around all the time" and before I could finish, she planted this smile on her face and and said, "Can I let you know tomorrow"?

My confused mind went reeling around and at first I thought, what in the hell is she talking about, when suddenly I realized she thought I had asked her to move in with me? I said nothing, just stared at her blankly. I was moving into the new house in a week and had a lot of things on my mind. The following day she called and said, it's kind of silly to move into the old house with me, why doesn't she wait until next week and we move into the big house together? I had thought about it the day before and decided it was an awfully big house for just Brad and I, maybe having a little baby around would be fun, and it was. TO BE CONTINUED...

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