I'm Jumping Ship... Leaving that Bitch!

Tuesday evening, after speaking with a new friend for about 3 hours, I realized it had taken 12 call backs to complete that call and while the calls were not dropping, I was cutting in and out with static and her saying, "Sorry, I didn't hear any of that"! It was now time to take things into my own hands. Having already inspecting what Walmart could do for me, they were immediately ruled out. Their staff were untrained and kind of reminded me of the fools at AT&T. The Internet located a Verizon store at 90th Street and Shea, just minutes away from me. 

Entering the store, I was immediately approached by Jordan, a tall goofy looking kid about 6' 2" tall with a smile on his face that was contagious. He actually made me smile. He introduced himself and we shook hands. My first question to him was, "How old are you Jordan", as I always feel that I have to gear my conversation to their age. He answered, 20. I told him I had a feeling that I was older than him and he busted out laughing. I liked Jordan!

I said Jordan, do you know what a lay down is? He shook his head, no. Well, I'm a lay down. A lay down is a customer that knows what he wants and you don't have to try to sell them anything. You literally have to throw them out of the store, to get a lay down not to buy! Jordan, still smiling, said what can I do for you? I said, sell me an iPhone 5 and sign me up for a 2 year contract. Right this way, said Jordan!

We walked over to the counter and Jordan started punching info into their computer and looking up, he asked if I knew my AT&T account number. I did not. He punched in a phone number, punched in a selection on the AT&T menu and handed me the phone. Jordan seemed like he'd done this before. A polite AT&T representative ask what he could do for me and I asked for my account number. He asked me why I wanted it (of all things) I told him it's none of his business and Jordan laughed. He knew what the rep had asked me. I read off the number as I wrote it down and Jordan entered it into his computer. This kid was good! Jordan explained that the rep wanted to know why I wanted the number so he could talk me out of changing service. I asked Jordan if this was going to take a long time and if so, perhaps I should sit in one of their chairs. You see, I was equipped with information from Walmart that this process was going to take 2 1/2 hours, minimum. Jordan said no, we're almost done. I had been there about 10 minutes.

While Jordan, my new best friend, was finishing up the final paperwork, I made a suggestion to him for a new app. Why not create an app for older people that miss slamming the phone down on an enemy or a bill collector, that will simulate that same sound the recipient hears when that happens. Gosh, I miss hanging up on people! Jordan liked the idea and promised to bring it up at their next meeting. He handed me a contract to sign, I signed and left. Total time evolved, 18 minutes, start to finish (including jokes and stories). My new phone will arrive tomorrow, Thursday at 3 PM. Jordan told me that this was the most fun he'd had all day, I smiled and said, me too!

Now all I have to do is explain to AT&T that I want a divorce, that I've found someone new and I'm NOT paying alimony!