Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Guess Who I bumped in to Today!

Guess who I ran into today while making a dog food run to Costco! Well, first I thought I saw Edward Kennedy, but it turned out to be just some old drunk looking for the Costco Tire shop.. Bruce! Bruce Giardino from the body shop! I was so excited! I hadn't seen Bruce in years. He was shopping for his Italian Restaurant that he and his soon to be ex-wife own on Carefree. The Lovely Jules and I are trying to fit in a visit to the place this weekend. The story about how I came to know Bruce was kind of interesting and I thought I might share it with the 3 people that read my boring blog.. It goes something like this....

The year was 1980 and my friend Wayne and I were cruising Christown Shopping Center for no apparent reason when suddenly Wayne said, I know those girls in the Mustang, they work where I work! Wayne was the Head Butcher for a Fry's store on the other side of town. I never even knew they had head butchers, it seems that everything is so specialized.. I eventually started calling Wayne, Meathead, he seemed to like that. So there we were driving through the shopping center and see these two young girls that Wayne knows and suddenly we lose them. We cruise around some more, when I spot the two of them still driving around the parking lot in their Mustang. We, Wayne and I are driving Sharon's car. Sharon was Wayne's live-in girlfriend, now his wife. Sharon had a 1967 Mercury Cougar in mint condition that her father had restored for her, although in 1980, it was only 13 years old. It was primo and we were using it so Wayne could get new tires put on it. I yelled out, "There they are" and Wayne, not the brightest crayon in the box searches for them and tries to locate them from my exclamation. He's yelling where and I'm yelling, "over there on the left". He's yelling, "should I turn right here" and I'm yelling, "No, at the next right, not this one............ and we crashed into the Montgomery Wards building!!!

Both of us hit the windshield and there were little birds flying in circles around our heads! Two large eggs formed on both of our foreheads and we were laughing so hard it was hard to tell if either of us were hurt. This is all before they invented using the seat belts, which would have saved our swollen heads, but wouldn't have done much for her car that looked okay, but insisted on making only left turns.. It seems that we hit a planter in front of Montgomery Wards and we hit it low and although it bent the frame, it didn't do any noticeable damage to the car, but when you tried to drive it down the street, the tires squealed since they were cocked to the left due to the frame being a little shorter on one side..

Still laughing hysterically, Wayne looked at my swollen head and said, "What will we do"? Man, stuff flew out of the front seats that had been lost for years.. Old lipsticks and pens and pencils and nail clippers and change. That's one way to clean out your seats, but don't try it without the seat belts.. I told him I knew of a body shop near my house and we were pretty close. We spotted the sign that read Creative Auto Body and pulled in. Immediately the owner came out to see what all of the screeching was. He was a young guy around our age and we told him of Wayne's problem. With his mouth still agape, there was a long silence before Bruce spoke. He started with, "See that frame machine? I just bought it. It cost me $25,000 and I make payments every month on it and I don't put anything on it for less than $500". I watched Wayne's face drop. Bruce spoke again. This time with a big grin on his face and this is what he said. I've heard some stupid stories before and they're usually bullshit! But when 2 guys pull in with a cockamamie hard luck story like yours, I've GOT to listen. Then I usually just turn them down, but to be honest with you, those two lumps on your foreheads don't lie! I'll do it for free! Bruce and I became fast friends!

He put the car on the machine and stretched it back out to almost it's original size. At least it stopped squealing when you drove it. The following day, I got a call from Sharon and I was scared to death not knowing what Wayne had told her. She said, Mel. You know a little about cars, don't you? I said, sure Sharon, what is it? She said, Wayne took my car to get new tires on it yesterday and now it pulls real hard to the left. Still listening, she confessed that she questioned Wayne and his explanation was that when a car gets new tires, it's much like when a person gets new shoes. You have to get used to them. She said Mel, is that true? Now, from the nature of the question, you can see that Sharon and Wayne were meant for each other. I said, that's true of some brands of tires, what brand did he get you? She said, Firestones. I agreed that Firestones were known for that. Everyone seemed happy...

Mel
4/23/08

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