I Won't be Moving Any Time Soon...

The phone call came at about 9:30 this morning. I was about to step into the shower when I heard the song on the radio start playing some tones that we "off key" and didn't fit. I immediately checked my phone to see it it were the untimely notes and it was. It was "fat realtor".

Frankly, I'm a little disappointed in myself, as I'm usually a better judge of character and although I immediately took a disliking to this tactless person, I didn't figure her for a liar and a fake, but I evidently underestimated her. I picked up the phone as she was rattling along saying how her imaginary investor backed out, when she asked him for a small increase that any idiot would have absorbed herself, making me wonder if he ever really existed. Even my new realtor said it wasn't likely for the following reasons. Investors don't back out after making offers, that hurts their credibility. They seldom try to buy houses in my price category, usually trying to stay under $300,000. And NEVER offer on a house sight unseen, that's listed "as is".

Chunky style Realtor was on her way over to remove her sign and her lock box and would be here in 20 minutes. I timed my shower perfectly, but was shirtless when she rang the doorbell. I enjoyed the 90 seconds I made her wait in the heat while I looked for one that read, "My Realtor is a Lying Creep", but settled for a conservative print.

She entered with a fake smile as she offered the termination papers at the front door, handing me a pen. I ignored her, as I walked into the computer table where my glasses were, she followed like a puppy offered a pork chop. I read the paper, and casually signed it, while she offered me great luck and all of the best of everything. That's when she confirmed to me that there was NEVER an investor. She produced an email that she took the trouble to print and show me. It was obvious to me that it was bogus, as she pulled it away almost immediately, so I couldn't inspect it for times and dates and point of origin. What honest person would produce an email to confirm something she has already stated? Only a liar would think to do that! She quickly left after that and took with her 5 weeks of my selling time. Time to move forward...