My Baby's Momma...

In 1980 I was granted a divorce from a woman who later became known as my first wife... I immediately met Marsha, a woman about 3 years older than me, who taught me that sex could be an everyday experience. I was 33 and she was 36, so there was not a great deal of difference in our ages. She also taught me that baggage was a horrible thing, when not used to carry personal things on a trip. This woman was so full of hate, it freaked me out after awhile. I shed Marsha and bought into a bar in Sedona and I think it was there that I received a call from my first wife. Somehow, probably out of guilt, we reunited our romance and she moved back to AZ to be my ex-wife and current girlfriend. That lasted about 6 weeks when I realized all of the reasons that I divorced her for were still pretty prevalent. It was about 3 weeks after Easter when she came home from the bar and caught me with a broomstick in my hand, trying to prod the bunny she had bought, from behind the last bush it could destroy, so I could toss it over our fence, to give it it's freedom and retain whatever part was still available of my security deposit on the townhouse we were renting. That little bunny was a one rabbit destruction machine! She walked out to see me with a broomstick in one hand and trying to reach behind the bush with the other and screamed, "What are you doing to that little bunny"? It looked a lot worse than it really was. It was just the last straw for me and I walked out the door, never to return, but did manage to support her and my 2 sons for about a year and a half, before she moved back to Chicago to be closer to Mom and Dad... It was during that 18 month period that I met Tobi.

Tobi was great. I met her at a dance club/bar one night when she was out with her sister Ruth. Tobi was attractive, very funny, a great dancer and married. I didn't do married, but she never let me know until much later. She gave me her phone number and every time I'd call, her sister Ruth would answer and say Tobi was at the store or in the restroom or picking up her daughter and then about 20 minutes later Tobi would call me back from a pay phone, but it was before caller ID, so I never knew. Tobi and I were just good friends and never really got intimate, but enjoyed each other's company for lunch about once a week and an evening drink occasionally. One night, shortly after the bunny incident, Tobi came to the motel I was temporarily staying at and spent an evening with me. It was just the two of us and a bed. What do you suppose happened?

Soon after that, Tobi faded away, as she often did, and I didn't run into her for several years. By this time I'd learned that she was in a bad marriage, but had returned to her husband to try to make it work. In 1985 or so, I got a call from Tobi and she was shopping at PV Mall and thought I might live close. We chatted and she asked where exactly I lived. I told her and she came over. I remember being outside near the pool when she came in unannounced carrying a 2 or 3 year old boy name Johnny. I had been sweeping the pool when I turned and looked and dropped the pole I had been pushing around the bottom of the pool. This adorable little boy looked like the spitting image of my younger son, Brad. Could it be? Could this child look so much like my offspring? What could cause that? Could I be the father of this child? All I did was look at Tobi and she understood my confusion and my nonverbal question and nodded her head, YES!

I cannot tell you the volume of emotions that went though me that instant. Pride, guilt, confusion, what role would I play in this boy's life? I felt like running to him, but yet I also felt like running away. I wasn't prepared for this. One thing that did play heavily on my mind was how a man is responsible for a life, even though it was just a night of fun and the importance of our actions.

It turned out that Tobi remained with her husband and no one ever knew who the father of that boy was, besides Tobi and me...........and now you.

Johnny is a successful attorney now, at age 26 and I occasionally think of using his services from time to time, but better sense legislates that I don't....