Don't Join CHEMISTRY.COM

I've complained about this ridiculous company in the past, but this time I've decided not to put up with it any longer. In 2004 I was a member of Match.com and that's when they spun off a new company to compete with eHarmony. They gave me a free membership that expires in 2050. They called it Chemistry, although it's clear that that's precisely what it is lacking. I'll explain.


 For years I sent Chemistry to an empty email address that I had with AOL. I was content with them there, I didn't get their repetitive junk emails, no one aggravated me with sending me matches from wash women from Delaware, complete with their buckets and mops. Eight out of ten members did not post pictures and the ones that did were from a homeless shelter in Ajo! (That's an AZ joke. Ajo almost borders Mexico, you get the drift.) My latest problem with Chemistry, after sending them to my Gmail address that has been taken over by spammers (A good place for them) was that somehow I must have arranged for that mail to be forwarded to my real email address and I don't see how to stop it. They send me notices that Maggy is interested in me and wants to communicate. When I get to their website, there is no Maggy and never was! I write to customer service and they explain that Maggy changed her mind and sometimes that just happens. Now it's happening about twice a week though. Not just Maggy, but an assortment of make-believe people.


A few days ago, I got notice from them that Celeste wants to get to know me better. I quickly clicked on the profile of Celeste and there sat a woman in a wheelchair with white hair and 78 years old! That prompted the following email.

"Cancel my free membership. I've suffered enough. I can only picture a roomful of idiots trying to figure out a way to make an otherwise successful company (Match.com) fail! No more emails from customer service fools with canned answers, just cancel this ridiculous service and do everyone a service and close down!"


You know what happened as a result? NOTHING! This proves that there is no one there overlooking this runaway dating service!


I did have a busy day on Match, however. 


First I was clicking along, having a wonderful time when suddenly I got notice of an instant message from Mela, 30 year old female from New York. No picture posted. I answered her message a very direct "HELLO". I replied:


Hello, before I message with you, I'll need a note from your mom and dad! (My youngest child is 38)


MELA: Why, I'm a grown up now. 


ME: Why don't you have a picture posted? How do I know you're not an Iraqu, smoking a cigar and laughing at the 65 year old guy, messaging with a child? 


MELA: Sorry about the picture.


That was when I blocked her from contacting me again. I've already made that mistake once, particularly from New York.

Next came a note from Adelealena. It said, Hi, how are you and included the above picture. She clearly was in distress, since she had fallen in that fountain. I wrote her back, "Call 911 and didn't hear anything back. I hope she was okay!