Sunday, February 19, 2012

My OLD Buddy Dave...

One night while watching some movie that held no particular meaning for me, it was about some guy and his buddy that got into all sorts of trouble. It made me think of my old buddy Dave, who was that person for me. So I searched for Dave on Facebook and immediately found him living in Florida and Chicago. I invited him to be my Facebook friend and sent him a short note. I hadn't seen or heard from Dave in almost 40 years. We were partners in crime in every respect. From the time that we drove around trying to get someone to rear end us, so he wouldn't have to go to boot camp the following day. To the 5 girls we allegedly left behind in New York, when at the last minute we decided to come back to Chicago to celebrate New Year's Eve.

Although we had fake IDs for our Chicago bar escapades, New York had a drinking age of only 18, so we could walk around like big shots there. We also learned that they had mashing laws that we had never heard of until one night a young lady that did not like our advances told a cop we were bothering her, so we had to run from the cops to avoid arrest.

One night back in Chicago, we had dates with 2 girls we'd met in Lake Geneva and were taking them out for dinner. Dave and I met in the men's room to discuss the rather unpleasantness of our dates and then proceeded to exit through the bathroom window, laughing our asses off all the way out! No telling how long they sat there waiting.

Another time, after spending the night with whatever young lady graced me with her presence at a motel, we were leaving at about 10 AM and who do you suppose was leaving the room next door at the same time? Right, my old buddy Dave with Sheila Kasmierski, a pretty blond, the girl I was with the week prior. We all laughed except Sheila who went straight to the car and wouldn't even look at me.

Then there was the time that Dave had just gotten his new 65 Mercury Comet convertible, it was Mercury's answer to the Mustang, Dave's was a white one with the 260 V-8 and a 4 speed. We were driving down the outer drive in Chicago, when a 57 Chevy station wagon carrying 3 teenagers cut us off rather severely  and flipped us the bird, when Dave honked. That was all it took. The road-rage was on and we followed them relentlessly for about 3 hours, all the while, I was saying, "What are you doing, there are 3 of them and only 2 of us"! With the adrenalin flowing freely, Dave kept saying, "We can take 'em"! Hmm..... I wasn't so sure. As luck would have it we caught them in highland Park at the end of a dead end street and there was no way for them to get out. (Unfortunately) We had them!!! 

All three exited the car and came running at Dave and me. We stood our ground. A short chunky guy came running at me with his head down, clearly a running back. Without really knowing what to do, being 6 feet tall and 135 soaking wet, I closed my eyes and did what every superhero would do, I closed my eyes and I used an upper cut and somehow connected just right and put this poor kid's teeth, right through his lower lip. He fell to the ground in surrender. I looked over to see how Dave was doing and he was pinned down to the ground by the two guys that chose to wallop the crap out of him. They had literally ripped most of Dave's clothes off and were running to their car by the time I arrived to help. Suddenly there was a cop arriving and it took a lot of explaining not to get arrested for disturbing the peace. I got away without even a scratch, while poor Dave had lumps and bumps all over him. He went home... while I went to Joe's Tavern to explain the fight to Joe, my bar tending buddy...

The following is an email that I sent to Dave following a texting session we'd had this morning.


I recall our going to NYC together now. It was coming home early, in time for NYE that triggered that thought. We went to the Edgewater Hotel for dinner and I think I was with Sheila that time. I recall having a cold and when I laughed out loud, I blew a booger onto her lobster tail that she was so much enjoying. I didn't have the heart to say, "Hey Sheila, I just blew a booger onto your food"! So I just sat there and watched as she came closer and closer to the booger, then on one of her last bites, swallowed it. That's when I decided it was OK for you to date her!

I remember driving around the night before you were to be shipped out to boot camp, trying to get into a rear end accident with your 65 Mercury Comet, so you wouldn't have to go. You used to say it was a cross between a Valiant and a Comet, a Vomit! What ever happened to your National guard enlistment? Did you serve the 6 months? That must have been when we stopped hanging out. I recall moving home after my lease was up at 1756 W. Rosehill, in the heart of the Rosehill Cemetary. Then Dick Mills and I shared a place on Roscoe and Broadway and that was a whole other bunch of memories for me. He gave me a black eye the night before my wedding to the lovely Barbara, because Jewish law required that my brother was to be best man, not him. That was the law that my mother laid down anyway.

My mother died an early death at age 69. My father immediately took up with a woman from New York named Adrianne. I recall doing my impression of Rockie whenever I called her. That really won her over. She was an obnoxious Jewess bitch, literally. I had to physically throw her out of my house in Scottsdale after my son Stuart's wedding. We didn't speak for the 5 years prior to my dad's death. He lived to be 83, which was great considering he had 3 heart attacks at age 51.

I don't recall leaving 5 girls in NYC waiting for us. Who were they and can we still get them? What ever happened to Al Mitofsky?


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