Tuesday, April 10, 2012

That Irritating, Annoying Voice...

Low and behold, the pain has returned and with a vengeance. That lower left pain in my gut that drove me to the hospital last week is fully in attendance. I made all the necessary calls with numbers provided me and no one returned my call. I've got to remark about the medical system as it is, is terribly inefficient. I saw a plethora of doctors while incarcerated in the local hospital last week and not a single one returned my call when the routine visit was over. Now, in my ignorance, I thought this is how a doctors builds a clientele, but no, I was on my own. I called Dr. Harvey, my buddy, and in his defense, he was honest enough to tell me that he didn't have any experience in internal medicine and referred me to a friend of his that specialized in Infectious Diseases. I called the number he provided and at first there was just no answer. No answering service or voice mail, just nothing. I tried again and it was answered by that voice. Crotchety is a word I've never used before and honestly it didn't really do her justice. It was more whiny, yet authoritative, but still really unpleasant. It kind of reminded me of a receptionist in a large office building, whose primary job was to keep people away from her employers. Okay, I've got it, picture Lilly Thomlyn as the switchboard operator! That's the voice.

I told her I'd received the number from Dr. Harvey, a friend of her employers and I was in the hospital last week with Diverticulitis and I'm afraid I'm having a relapse. Her reply and I was sure she was wearing a nose plug was, we're in the process of moving our office and Doctor is not seeing any new patients for a few weeks, (Pause) I tried to explain that I needed to see someone right away and could I at least get a return call from the doctor. Lilly said, and as if I were insane, "Of course not, Doctor has not "seen" you yet"! I felt like I was in the middle of a bad dream. A lot of things went through my mind, none of them included her survival, but instead I just hung up. I could see I was not going to get anywhere with her. My next thought was to go back to the ER. That's when I tried texting Dr. Harvey and telling him thanks anyway, but I couldn't get past his asshole receptionist. I think I used those precise words. About 2 hours passed and I was in my reclining chair contemplating my next move, when my phone rang and I didn't recognize the number. I answered and to my surprise, it was Lilly Thomlyn, the bitch, calling to make an appointment for me for this past Monday. I believe her words were, "Are you the friend of Dr. Harvey, Doctor wants to see you right away!" I almost couldn't speak because of the enormous smile on my face. When I showed up at 7:45 AM, 30 minutes early, Lilly couldn't even make eye contact. The doctor, an Italian gentleman about 45, was helpful, attentive and prescribed 2 antibiotics, explaining in detail why just one will not usually do the job. He told me to call him next week after a full 7 days of drugs to give him a report, although he gave me 14 days of drugs this time. He told me that if this is not successful, he'll have to put me back in the hospital for IV drugs, as they are far more effective. I didn't say goodbye to Lilly on the way out! Why is everything so difficult?

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