Wednesday, April 25, 2012

They Walk Among Us...

In coordination with my quarterly kidney check on Friday, I was required to get blood drawn today in order for Sonora Quest to get the results to my doctor's office by then. I am no newcomer to this process since my surgery in 2005. That means I've been going and getting this done almost monthly for 7 years. Sounds simple right? Usually it's a routine process, but I think due to high turnover in staff, you really never know what to expect.

After cruising their over-packed parking lot for about 5 minutes, I spot a car pulling out rather slowly and wait for the end spot. After it's vacated, I realize the car to it's left has taken more than it's fair share of space and is literally parked upon the painted white line between places. I squeeze in scraping my tire against the curb, praying that I don't break the bead on my tire causing it to go flat. I'm parked so close to the car next to me, that I can't open the driver's door and crawl over the console to the passenger's seat and get out that way, but only after checking the car next to me, that it doesn't have a passenger that requires entry. I see a magazine, and can of Cashew nuts in the seat, so that satisfies my curiosity of inconveniencing another rider. 

I walk about a city block to the entrance of the office building and just as I pass the parking spot right next to the front door, it's occupant backs out....................naturally! I approach the front desk and stand behind a young man about 17 years old and wait for him to finish checking in. About 3 minutes goes by and I notice he's not checking in at all, but filling out the questionnaire that new patients are required to do. I step up next to him, there is plenty of room. I'm ignored for another 2 minutes as I try unsuccessfully to make eye contact with anyone there and there are about 5 people working behind the desk, just chatting away. A rather unattractive technician comes out of one of the room and looks at me finally, but asks if I'm with the young boy standing there. I reply, no. She says, are you sure? I involuntarily raise my eye brows and assure her I am certain! I then ask the youthful man if I am with him and he rather confusedly verifies I am not. Another woman comes walking up and is immediately attended to by someone else, who politely was answering her question about the questionnaire. Now the smart ass girl asks if I've seen the sign and points to a sign that is clearly out of the field of vision for people entering, placing it off to the left and only about 30 inches high. It is hand written with a Magic Marker, an index card that reads, "WAIT HERE".

Not wanting any more trouble for today, I do as told, but would  prefer to record all of this, for YouTube! Just as I approach the sign, a woman walks up to the sign ahead of me and now I am once again in line behind her. The woman says you were here before me, why don't you go ahead. I thanked her and did.

Finally I am handed the check in slip and fill it out. I'm asked for my insurance card and I supply it, I know the routine. I go to sit down. I wait about 10 minutes when I'm called up there again and I am asked, "Are you here for your monthly blood drawing or the 6 month drawing that your doctor requires"? I want to answer, "I only supply the blood, what you're doing is strictly between you and the doctor". Instead I look at her in utter amazement and here is what is going through my mind. I am of above average intelligence, I think. I took an IQ test once online and it gave me a 130 IQ. Really smart people are a lot closer to 140, so no one is going to ask me to run for president. 

I ask the less than bright girl when the last time I had the 6 month test and she replied, last month in March. I told her to go ahead and perform the monthly test, then. She looked at me with approval and told me to go back to my seat. I wanted to ask why she couldn't just figure that out on her own, but thought, if she's made it to this age and that's all the thinking power she has, well so be it.

Okay, here's the topper for the day. I go back to my squeezed in car and crawl over the console again to get into the driver's seat and am pleased to see that the same car is still next to me, so he didn't get a chance to hit my door backing out, but I'm running late to get to a friend's house and try to extend the time the left hand turning arrow give you at Scottsdale Road and Shea and get nailed real good by the red light camera, who will no doubt be sending me a certified picture of myself blowing the damned light!

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