Shopping is something that I don't really enjoy. Being a man, that's probably not unusual. Today I reaffirmed my position on shopping, although we did have a lot of fun while trying to understand the new attitude towards shoppers from the extremely desperate retail operations.
The Lovely Jules intruded into my morning by using her key to penetrate our fortress of solitude. The dogs and I were outside picking up poop when the Dynamic Duo alerted me to an intruder. I sent the dogs into the house to attack the intruder, while I used the side gate to go out in front to greet our guest with a baseball bat. To my surprise, Jules had already gone inside and locked me out!!! So, there I am ringing my own bell and being denied access. By the time she finally agreed to let me inside, she had showered the dogs with cookies and they could have cared less if I was locked outside or not.
My goal was to buy new underwear. It's not the sort of thing men ever talk about or remember to buy without coaxing. I've been single for about 7 years now and my underwear was telling the story. Underwear is one of the things that seem to appear in my drawer without me having to think about it, but lately whenever I see a pair with a hole or looking weathered, I toss them out. Honestly, it's one of the items that I never know where to throw. Are holy underwear recyclable? So we headed to the mall.
Our first stop was the fragrance department where Julie popped for a large bottle of cologne. I tried to talk her into just buying the small bottle, but she insisted on getting me the large economy size of Ralph Lauren's, Safari. I'm going to smell pretty good for well over a year. I was shocked as hell that she wanted to purchase it, as she has just joined the ranks of the unemployed. I don't think we owned the bottle of cologne for more than 5 minutes when we went into a discount place that had the same bottle for $5 less, oh well.
She shopped around looking at a lot of things we didn't buy, when I reminded us that we were there for underwear for me. First it was Dillards that was so proud of their men's underwear, at $20 a pair for underwear without a fly. I can't tell you how many questions that created, but Julie was kind enough to demonstrate how to perform sans a fly. Humph, who knew she knew? All of the underwear had legs too, something I'm going to have to get used to. Here's the deal. I didn't want tighty whiteys, but I wanted briefs in colors. I knew they had them. We finally found a few pair at J. C. Pennys, at about $7.50 a pair. I'm good for a week now. I decided that underwear might just be a Costco item.
At some point we wandered into a wig shop and I asked the proprietor if Julie could try on a wig to see how she might look with long hair. With her Guatemalan accent, she tried to explain that it would cost $5 to try on a wig, but if she decided we were serious, she would waive the $5 charge. Julie and I just looked at each other and burst out laughing and told her to just keep the wig and left. How will that store survive with an attitude like that towards their customers.
Another thing on my list was to get a battery for my Movado watch. I wandered into the same place I had gotten it the last time and told the gentleman behind the counter that my watch read 10:30 all of the time, can he fix it. They all seemed to like my way of telling them I needed a battery and laughed. I asked how much and how long a wait it would be, remembering last time it was about 30 minutes. He said it was $40 and he could do it right away. Whoa, I said. Then I asked if this is the same place I got it replaced last time for about 5 or 7 dollars and he said yes. Why is it so much now, I asked? He started telling me it was an expensive watch, blah, blah, blah... as I took the watch back and walked away telling him I'd get it replaced where I bought it. I headed to Zales, about 20 yards away. I told the lady there that I bought this watch here and could I please get a battery for it? She said, sure. It would take about 6 weeks and it would cost $75, that they would have to send it to the factory to make sure it hasn't been violated by a discount jeweler, ruining the warranty. I said it has been though. That didn't seem to bother her and she was ready to take my $75 anyway. By this time Jules was pissed at me for not just doing it. I told her I'd rather not wear a watch than give someone $75 for a battery for a 10 year old watch. These are tough times!
We headed home to my house and Julie left a short time after that. Poor thing, I think I wore her out. I can't wait to try on my new underwear!
Mel
11/23/08
The Lovely Jules intruded into my morning by using her key to penetrate our fortress of solitude. The dogs and I were outside picking up poop when the Dynamic Duo alerted me to an intruder. I sent the dogs into the house to attack the intruder, while I used the side gate to go out in front to greet our guest with a baseball bat. To my surprise, Jules had already gone inside and locked me out!!! So, there I am ringing my own bell and being denied access. By the time she finally agreed to let me inside, she had showered the dogs with cookies and they could have cared less if I was locked outside or not.
My goal was to buy new underwear. It's not the sort of thing men ever talk about or remember to buy without coaxing. I've been single for about 7 years now and my underwear was telling the story. Underwear is one of the things that seem to appear in my drawer without me having to think about it, but lately whenever I see a pair with a hole or looking weathered, I toss them out. Honestly, it's one of the items that I never know where to throw. Are holy underwear recyclable? So we headed to the mall.
Our first stop was the fragrance department where Julie popped for a large bottle of cologne. I tried to talk her into just buying the small bottle, but she insisted on getting me the large economy size of Ralph Lauren's, Safari. I'm going to smell pretty good for well over a year. I was shocked as hell that she wanted to purchase it, as she has just joined the ranks of the unemployed. I don't think we owned the bottle of cologne for more than 5 minutes when we went into a discount place that had the same bottle for $5 less, oh well.
She shopped around looking at a lot of things we didn't buy, when I reminded us that we were there for underwear for me. First it was Dillards that was so proud of their men's underwear, at $20 a pair for underwear without a fly. I can't tell you how many questions that created, but Julie was kind enough to demonstrate how to perform sans a fly. Humph, who knew she knew? All of the underwear had legs too, something I'm going to have to get used to. Here's the deal. I didn't want tighty whiteys, but I wanted briefs in colors. I knew they had them. We finally found a few pair at J. C. Pennys, at about $7.50 a pair. I'm good for a week now. I decided that underwear might just be a Costco item.
At some point we wandered into a wig shop and I asked the proprietor if Julie could try on a wig to see how she might look with long hair. With her Guatemalan accent, she tried to explain that it would cost $5 to try on a wig, but if she decided we were serious, she would waive the $5 charge. Julie and I just looked at each other and burst out laughing and told her to just keep the wig and left. How will that store survive with an attitude like that towards their customers.
Another thing on my list was to get a battery for my Movado watch. I wandered into the same place I had gotten it the last time and told the gentleman behind the counter that my watch read 10:30 all of the time, can he fix it. They all seemed to like my way of telling them I needed a battery and laughed. I asked how much and how long a wait it would be, remembering last time it was about 30 minutes. He said it was $40 and he could do it right away. Whoa, I said. Then I asked if this is the same place I got it replaced last time for about 5 or 7 dollars and he said yes. Why is it so much now, I asked? He started telling me it was an expensive watch, blah, blah, blah... as I took the watch back and walked away telling him I'd get it replaced where I bought it. I headed to Zales, about 20 yards away. I told the lady there that I bought this watch here and could I please get a battery for it? She said, sure. It would take about 6 weeks and it would cost $75, that they would have to send it to the factory to make sure it hasn't been violated by a discount jeweler, ruining the warranty. I said it has been though. That didn't seem to bother her and she was ready to take my $75 anyway. By this time Jules was pissed at me for not just doing it. I told her I'd rather not wear a watch than give someone $75 for a battery for a 10 year old watch. These are tough times!
We headed home to my house and Julie left a short time after that. Poor thing, I think I wore her out. I can't wait to try on my new underwear!
Mel
11/23/08
No comments:
Post a Comment