Saturday, February 7, 2009


Kleptomania seems to be running rampant in my life. Ever since I made the acquaintance of the "Lovely Jules", things have been disappearing from my house and my life. It started with a simple refrigerator magnet that read "Mel's Diner" and has escalated to more noticeable things, like my 2004 Toyota. Last week I found myself borrowing it from LJ just to change the oil and give it a general cleaning. She had the nerve to ask me to try to buff out the door dings she got on the driver's door, as she hates looking at those things.

A couple of weeks ago, LJ came over for something and after she left, she warned me that something was missing again from my house and she would be sending me a clue by text in the near future, but the clue NEVER came. That's when her game of stealing things and texting me clues was a ploy to get my attention off of the fact that she's robbed me. Tonight, after thinking about it, I called her and reminded her that she never sent me a text for my clue. She just laughed and I realized she got me again! We hung up the phone and about 10 minutes later my clue came by way of text message. It read, "For Whom the Bell Tolls". Immediately, I responded that she had my dinger. I was in Sedona about 25 years ago and I was renting a motel room and the teenaged desk clerk kept ringing this silly dinger for the bell boy, a kid about 6 months younger than the desk clerk. When the desk clerk wasn't looking, I grabbed the dinger and put it in my pocket, making my date laugh hysterically and ever since it had been sitting around my house. Although it had memories, it didn't mean a whole lot to me and if Jules was going to get some pleasure by taking it, then good for her. As soon as I guessed what it was that she had swiped from my house by text message, she called me laughing her ass off. I told her the story of how I got it and again we laughed. As we chatted, I realized while looking in the place where the dinger used to live and there it was, right before my very eyes! I said, you didn't get my dinger, it's right here. Slowly she reiterated that she had my good luck bell that was on the bottom of the railing that goes up my staircase. Whoa, that was my good luck piece that I placed there 16 years ago when I first bought this house. After a long silence, Julie asked how much good luck it had brought me since then and again we both laughed out asses off.

We talked joking for awhile and when I hung up I asked her to do me a favor. Would she mind stealing bigger items, that way by the time I move, I won't have to pack?

No comments: