Monday, September 27, 2010

Woe is Me...

There are some pretty strange happening going on in my life right now. The stars have got to be lined up incorrectly. Who lines up those stars anyway? Here is what's going on. My online life is abundant and lacking, all at once. I've heard from a vast number of women, one weirdo after another.

First is Carol, who writes and tells me her eyes change colors with the clothing she's wearing and pretty much, that's all she says. I didn't find her particularly attractive, so I went to her profile to see that she likes to drink wine after a long day. That's it. No other information. What in the word can I respond to? So I tell her that she doesn't afford me enough information to respond and perhaps she can still me a little about herself. She writes that she's a BJ Supervisor and has been for a number of years. Later in her email, she mentions that she works for one of the Scottsdale casinos. Frankly, I was relieved that the BJ referred to Black Jack, weren't you?

Next is Lynn, a rather attractive 53 years old school teacher. I was older than what she would have wanted and told me so, but I fought and impressed her with my demented wit and sang the song of the chase. Suddenly, after her telling me that she didn't want to give up her phone number just yet, I did some more of the courting dance and I'm be a "you now what", she sent me her phone number but........................... I never called!

And there is Pamela. I found Pam very attractive and 56. She just moved here from the Virgin Islands and we wound up on the phone for almost 2 hours on Saturday night. I called it our Saturday night date. She's bright, clever, quick, and well educated. She's here opening an IT company with her son. She did the same thing for a company called the U.S. Government prior to now. This morning I was just minding my own business when an email arrived and it was Pamela and she wrote me this amazingly long email. I started reading it with a smile on my face, when suddenly the topic kind of went from how wonderful she thinks I am, to her breaking up with me. It talked about a previous relationship in the Virgin Islands that she thought she was over, but apparently not. How does a woman break up with me, that I've never met? I quickly went in for the save and haven't heard back yet. I'm pretty sure it's not quite the end of the game yet.

Last is Gina. I just finished writing an email to her. She comes from a different dating service that I didn't even know I belonged to, but sure enough, it was lost in my spam at my old email address. Now here is a strange phenomenon about this dating site. None of the woman there give up their personal information easily. They insist upon hiding behind the site's anonymity. How weird. The same is true of Gina so far, but I did get her to give up her email address. I am sooo not a stalker, but is there a word that is the opposite of stalker? That's me. Gina is 62 but looks very young for her age. She's bright but cautious. The jury is still out on Gina.

Horrible news! The Lovely Jules broke her arm. She fell off of a ladder in her garage, while trying to get stuff out for her weekend garage sale. Thanks to God it wasn't worse. It was her right arm, but she's left handed. Can you think of a more uncomfortable way to spend the fall? She still has to have surgery this week to put in a pin. Poor Julie! Just last night, I asked LJ to marry me, once again, through a text message. She agreed and replied that only if I promised to tickle her back, "Nice and Easy" including when she gets wrinkled, until the end of time. I declined!

1 comment:

Jamie said...

I love your online dating tales. I wish I had found it as entertaining, or even amusing. Mostly, I just thought it sucked. Yes, I know...eloquence just oozes out of me.

Damn---I am sorry about Jules arm. That girl has the worst luck. You couldn't do better than to spend eternity tickling her back, wrinkly or not. You already fight like an old married couple.

Hugs, Mel. Happy Tuesday. :)