Thursday, March 22, 2012

Modern Medicine...Quack, Quack..

I had been putting it off, but I finally had to change primary care physicians. You know, it's not as easy as it seems. First you have to find a doctor for your insurance to verify is an okay guy for them, otherwise they won't pay him. After accomplishing that, you need to find one that is within a certain physical location, so you're not driving all over Tim-buck-too. With that accomplished, you need to find one that has an opening this decade, not always easy. Usually the ones with an open schedule kind of suck.

I called the office of the infamous Dr. Doolittle, not her real name, only to find that she is not seeing any new patients, but her young associate Dr. Macadamian has an open schedule. So I made an appointment with the youthful Dr. Macadamian for this past Monday morning. I arrived promptly and checked in with a pleasant young lady with a peace sign tattooed behind her ear. I was told to take a seat and await my doctors nurse to request my presence in an interior room. I sat down next to an empty seat that was holding an elderly woman's purse and as soon as I sat down there, the old woman grabbed her purse and put it on her lap with that "don't even think about it" look on her face. So I didn't think about it!

After about 10 minutes of total boredom, a plump young lady called my first name. I approached her and soon learned that she was not capable of either smiling or making eye contact. In fact the more I think about it, she may have been one of those new robots. She took my history without incidence and asked if it were okay if a medical student examined me along with the doctor. I said yes and was secretly hoping that it would be Jennifer Aniston, but no luck there.

Soon and he was waiting outside the door, a young pleasant young guy came in and introduced himself. I'd say he was about 23. He examined me, asked me reasonable questions and gave me sufficient answers. I told him why I was there, that I had been suffering from severe pain in my lower left quadrant of my abdomen. He took notes. After about 15 minutes, another young kid came in and this one introduced himself as Dr. Macadamian. He was Middle eastern, about 27 and cocky, arrogant and incompetent, but I'll get to that. He listened to my complaints about my pain, kind of laughed and told me I was constipated. I would have asked for my money back, but Medicare was paying! Guess what? I'm soon going to be 66 and by now, I've had every malady that a stomach can give you and I'm NOT constipated. I had already pre-diagnosed my problem as Diverticulitis or Irritable Bowel Syndrome, but with no medical background I was just guessing. But then again, so was young Dr. Macadamian! He asked me when my last Colonoscopy was and I told him 10 years ago. He said, well you know you're due for that. I agreed, but at my house they're just not doing them, that's why I was there, but young Dr. Macadamian blew it off after that.

Another reason that I was there, was because I had a blister or a skin cancer on my forehead and it had been there for at least 5 years, but I wanted to have it biopsied. He explained that the owner of the practice specializes in skin cancer, so I've come to the right place. Once again he dropped the topic and it was over. No follow up appointment with that doctor and he was beginning to say his goodbye. Since I was still in pain, I asked if there were a way to confirm my pain is from constipation? He finally ordered an ex-ray and they handed me an ex-ray order to give to the nurse. I shook their hands and said my goodbye and I was abandoned, just standing there. I wandered around looking for someone to ask about the ex-ray and found a staff member wandering around too. I asked her about my ex-ray and she looked at my paper, then which insurance I had and was told due to my insurance, I'll have to go to another location for it. It was walking distance in the same center, so I went over there. I walked in and was told there would be a wait. Now the only employee there, was a man about 55 years old in dress slacks and a button down shirt. Kind of reminded me of the owner. No employees. 

He told me that there was someone on the table and they can't just pull them off to do mine. I was kind of shocked that he'd even talk that way to me. He told me that as soon as they were finished with that patient, I was next. That was a blatant lie. Everyone that was there sitting, went in ahead of me, as they should have. I'd say, I waited about an hour and fifteen minutes when a young girl called me in. She was the only technician working there. The place was clearly going broke. My ex-ray took me about 10 minutes and I left thinking, no further instructions, hmm..... 

I walked back to the doctor's office complex and walked in fresh. I approached the desk and was asked if they could help me. I talked to the same girl with the peace sign behind her ear and she didn't recognize me. I made a new appointment with the cancer specialist and that is for tomorrow. I held off writing this report for as long as I could, thinking Dr. Macadamian would call me with the ex-ray results, but no, nothing. 

I seem to have been pretty "regular" since then, but still have a severe pain in my lower stomach. I also feel like going to this doctor was a complete waste of time.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Bernie is taking new patients still but I think I told you that before....NMS