Saturday, May 8, 2010

The Farmer in the Dell, He can go to Hell...


If you don't keep an open eye on people that sell you things these days, I'm afraid you're in for some disappointments. With the most earnest attitude this spring, I went to Home Depot and purchased a tomato plant and to my surprise, it started growing grapes! That's right. It even had the type of tomato that it should have produced, but all I got were grapes that eventually turned red. They were shrivelled and and pathetic looking and nothing that I'd consider putting in my mouth. Where did I go wrong?


I placed my plant in a shady spot where it would plenty of sun and shade, so as not to burn out the little darling. This was my first attempt at farming and frankly, I quit! As far as I'm concerned the Farmer in the Dell can just go to Hell!


In other late breaking news, I've decided to give up on the dating thing. That's right. Currently, I've got about 5 different women that I'm in the process of bringing along to the dating stage, when I sat there last night and realized, I don't think I want to meet any of them. Perhaps I'm depressed or maybe I'm just desirous of the old way of meeting people, where they have to be who they are from the start. I remember the old days when you were fixed up with someone and they were awful from the get go. They didn't get to fool you with old pictures that don't show the latest in wrinkled skin. They don't show that extra 30 LBS that just appeared one day last month and they certainly don't show the evil attitude that some possess. I recall ringing the bell with an optimistic smile on my face and being terrorized to death from the very start. Then there was the unusual time, when she opens the door and she's absolutely delightful and suddenly you realize that it's YOU that are the disappointment! Yes, give me the old days anytime...


Starting Monday, retirement is officially over. I'm going back to work. Something to fill the daytime hours that's productive that does not include TV. I just know it won't be farming!

2 comments:

Jules said...

I told you to put it in the ground! Tell the story right!

He never even took it out of the Costco pot. The thing didn't stand a chance.

Things I Left Behind said...

I think this is your version of "I told you so"...

Achmed Cameltoe