Thursday, June 24, 2010


My dentist
Today I've come to a couple of conclusions. First is something that I was really kind of shocked by and it is that a lot of people are in love with their dentists. I know it sounds odd, but all you have to do is mention that you're in tooth pain or that you don't have a dentist you trust and dentists come flying out of nowhere, at your service. I probably speak with about 4 women on a regular basis and the one thing they all have in common is that they have the BEST dentist in captivity. I've already decided to use a Scottsdale dentist by the name of Dana, so I'll let you know how my tooth comes out and I probably mean that literally. OUCH! I'm looking forward to a new way of whistling in the following week.

Here is the other oddity. Evidently there were no live female births in 1953. With the exception of my last wife, not a single female was born that year. I've met several women that claim to be 57, but not a single one actually is. They're all anywhere from 60 to 70 and it isn't too tough to find it out. Honestly, I've become so gun shy about it, that as soon as a woman mentions her age being 57, I think she's lying.

Here is another example of how things are going. I met a woman online and guess what her age was. Right, 57, (62). All I had to do was ask her and her answer came flowing from her mouth and it sounded like about 25 others that used that same exact reason for lying. My daughter/girlfriend/relative wrote the profile for her and she didn't even know they did that, giggle! When I hear that, I usually just take the phone away from ear and look at it. Get the picture? The following email is from her and it showed up this morning. What alarms me about this one is this. She lives in a million dollar plus house in Cave Creek. She owned and operated a major advertising firm in Chicago, but sold it. She's soft spoken, educated, a true lady but she currently has an office in a high rent area in Scottsdale where she practices and teaches healing. WTF??? I'm going to edit her email so as not to release her personal information, but here is her email to me concerning my ailing tooth and why I really don't know how to handle it, but first, my email to her:

Do you realize we've come full circle in our relationship, yet have never met. We started by emailing through Match, then spoke on the phone and emailing direct didn't seem too successful. Now for comunications, we're back to writing on Match. Hmm....

For me, not doing too well. Back last Oct. I suffered an abcessed tooth. I was in Chicago at the time visiting and went to a dentist friend of mine. He told me the tooth was fractured and to take the Z-pak and go home to my dentist and have a root canal. Well the tooth got better, the swelling in my chip monk face went down and fever lowered. I drove back to Phx in a car I bought while there and everything was fine, except my girlfriend at the time broke up with me, but that's another story, lol...
I could not get myself to go to a strange dentist and volunteer my tooth to humanity (for R&D, you know,research and developement) So, I had a long talk with the tooth and decided if it will just keep quiet about everything that happened, I wouldn't turn him into a dentist for a root canal or possible extraction (ouch). Things went as agreed for 9 months until last week when it started acting up again. I begged the tooth to stand by our agreement, but it refused. (That tooth just may be a female tooth, who knew?)
I called my buddy, a doctor and he supplied me with another Z-pak and currently the pain and swelling has calmed down and I'm threatening to go to a dentist and turn the turncoat in.

That's how I've been. And you???


Good morning Mel,

It was good hearing from you and I am sorry to hear about your tooth. I have been through that before and it is not fun. This morning I am visiting my dentist who I really like to have my temporary bridge re-glued. I highly recommend him and he is located on Shea and Scottsdale Rd. His name is Dr. Joe Schmow and his number is 480 555-5555. His address is 2900 N Scottsdale Rd, 85284.

I do love the way you describe it. It put a big smile on my face this morning.

Yes, we certainly have gone full circle. Do you want to meet sometime?

Today I meet with my dentist at 9 and have a lunch meeting at 11:30. I am doing a healing in my office which is also at Scottsdale and Thomas at 1:30 and another at 3:00. After that I am driving way out to east Mesa for a function this evening. Tomorrow is more promising. Looks like I will be working at home most of the day. If you would like, I can do some distance healing tomorrow morning on your tooth, but I need a bit more information. Let me know.

At any rate, wishing you a glorious pain free day.


Now did I read that correctly? She's going to work on my tooth by phone? Distance healing? Is that like tossing an aspirin into your mouth from a distance? The truth is, she scares me. Witch doctors do too... Now if she knew a little Voodoo, I can wrap my limited mind around it! OY!


Anonymous said...

It's amazing the things people use instead of prayer...I'd let that one go, Mr. Mel....

Things I Left Behind said...

She told me that Jesus was a healer. I guess with the economy the way it is, he's taken a second job!