Monday, February 28, 2011
Cute, Thin, Perky and Youthful...
I don't know if I should be angry or relieved that the madness is over. My membership at Match.com expired and will not be renewed anytime soon. This round lasted for a full year and the quality of the participants has waned considerably. Tonight's encounter was a good example of what happens.
Barbara lists her age at 57 on Match, but when I spotted her on Plenty of Fish, she listed it as 61. Being a numbers guy, I immediately smelled the proverbial "RAT". I decided to share my find with Barbara, thinking this might be a way to get acquainted. I wrote to her on Match and mention that I liked her better on Plenty of fish, because she was closer to my age there. She wrote back that she lies about her age because men my age won't go out with a woman 61, thus she claims to be 57. She assured me that when she speaks with the perspective date, the very first thing she tells them is her true age. (I wonder).(Now you see what's happened here. Because she has lied, now I'm doubting everything she claims!)
We eventually, after emailing several emails to one another, I spoke with her on the phone. She was cute and charming and I'd go so far as to say alluring. I was all pumped up about our date for this evening. We were supposed to meet at the Westin Hotel Keirland for cocktails at 5:45 PM. I'm always on time, but for some reason today I couldn't find the hotel easily and called right at 5:45 and Barb answered and told me she'd be in the entrance way watching for me.
The one thing that I want to stress, is that I told her that I really didn't care how old she was, as long as her pictures were accurate and she once again assured me they were recent. Now is it just me, or does this girl look to be in her late forties, possibly 50 and the oldest, okay 52? I'm only posting one picture, but in others she has listed, she looks cute, thin, perky and youthful. Skipping the "youthful", I'll accept the rest. I had to park about 2 city blocks away from the Westin, not knowing their valet parking was free, plus I'm driving a Toyota Corolla with crank windows, come on.
I whistled all afternoon and asked LJ if my hair was okay about 3 times. I was really looking forward to my date tonight. When I finished the 2 block trot to the hotel front door, I immediately spotted this old woman standing there smiling at me. Now take another look at her picture. Try moving all of her facial features DOWN about 1/4 inch and add a sagging throat and about 35 to 40 LBS in unwanted weight. Subtract perky, because perky no longer is a viable word for Barbara. Voila!......... My date!!!