Friday, December 14, 2012

Oh Crap!

I don't smoke, I don't drink and I find myself dealing with reality on a daily basis. This has not always been the case. I started smoking when I was too young, about 10 and drinking came right along, when I one day went down to our family basement, the day after my parents had a party and drank from the half filled glasses of cocktails. I liked the feeling that it caused, kind of a euphoria. I was about 13 or 14 at that time. I gave up smoking when I was about 42 in 1988. In 2005, I decided to eliminate alcohol from my life on an operating table, in a hospital, when I learned that it had had an effect on my heart. Next month, it will be 8 years since I've even tasted alcohol. I found alcohol to be an asset when I couldn't sleep and since, when that occurs, doctors have given me a variety of drugs to interact. First it was something like Seconal, that caused an immediate addiction, so I took myself off of it as quickly as I started. This was prescribed by a nurse practitioner that worked in one of my doctor's offices. More recently I was prescribed Ambien that is not addictive, so I take it once in a while when needed. I pay particular attention to how often I use it and it turns out to be about once every 8 or 9 days and only 5 MG.

It is that Ambien that is the topic of this evenings writing.I usually fall asleep shortly after laying my head down and that is usually after reading for an hour to 90 minutes. Then, I awaken about 3 hours later and feel like it should be morning, but it's still quite dark. That's when I pop the pill. Rather than lay in bed awaiting the miracle of sleep, I get up and look at the computer for a time. The Ambien takes about 15 minutes to kick in. That's when the euphoric feeling takes over me, that would be sleep if I were in bed, but instead it's a feeling of peace and tranquility and that everything is just fine. People look better and I feel no apprehension about others and one fine morning awakened to 15 new friends on Facebook. Some I didn't even know! I recognized one fellow as a friend of a friend whose name appeared on emails and suddenly I felt love for this person and wanted to know them better. (This is not like me) 

I find that belonging to a dating service in NOT a good idea at times like this, as I write wonderful warm emails to total strangers that just go rambling on and on. Most are wise enough to ignore me, but on occasion some reply just as warmly and that's where this story is going.

I think it was Sunday or Monday this past week that I popped an Ambien and got wordy on my laptop. Surprisingly, the following morning I had several replies, so I inquired as to what in the world I had written. It appeared that women in their late 60's were not a problem for me and the replies were shocking. One rather attractive lady that was a mere 60, replied that she is from my hometown, my same religion and suggested we speak on the phone, but neglected to offer me her phone number. Feeling happy and gallant, I offered he mine, but she never replied or called. Oh well, another casualty of online dating.

Today, the cincher occurred. This morning I was standing in the kitchen, flipping eggs when my phone alerted me of a text message. It told me I had an email from someone on This is the message:

Hi Me, 
Sounds like a good idea. Lets meet and see what happens. 
When is good for you? 

As I sat there splashing eggs into my mouth, I could hardly wait to see what gem I had written, that was agreeable to this kind 63 year old lady, all the while praying there was no walker involved in her picture. Instead, there was an elderly lady standing behind the counter at a Circle K or Seven-eleven. Here is my email that I initiated.

Hi There:

You seem like a nice lady and I love that you're retired. Me too! If we decided to get together we'd have a lot of time to do whatever we want. I'm a fun guy with good morals and values. If you're interested, let me know. My time on this site is over soon, thank God! lol...


What am I supposed to do now? You see what I did there? I had a thought, however illogical, and decided to was worthy of print. Normal minds edit those thoughts, mine does, but not when I take Ambien! I wonder if there's a 12 step program for people that want to get off of Ambien. I'll bet they're really sleepy!

1 comment:

Steve Finnell said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.