Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Paradise Valley Mall...

Due to a severe case of stage 4 boredom, I found it necessary to go to the mall. I looked at my shoes, you know, the comfortable ones that people say to be sure and wear, when you go certain places, like the mall? I bought them about 5 years ago and they really got their due wear. The toes were curled up, like the time many years ago when my loving first wife put my wet shoes in our oven to dry them quickly. They resembled footwear suitable for an elf. I recall there being a store called Payless Shoe Source, at Paradise Valley Mall, where all of the shoes were on display in front of your very eyes. Instead, the very first store I saw concerning shoes was about the size of a football field and also had all their shoes on display. I found myself walking behind a man and his wife, about my age and he was saying to her, that he didn't see anything he liked. I had just gotten there and after they left, I continued to browse and realized he was right. I left and started my new exercise program of mall walking. 

I couldn't help but notice that I was tiring rather quickly and started getting a burning sensation in my calves, as women far older than me passed me like I was standing still. I checked 3 different times to see if I'd stopped! No, I was still moving, kind of like a snail. It appears that I've lost my athletic abilities, but at least I still have my looks, right? Right? Moving along, I finally found the store I was looking for, Payless. All I could assume, is that it had moved to a smaller location, or perhaps it just looked smaller due to the size of the first store I'd tried to shop at. Payless had about 20 pairs of shoes, total, in my size. I realized that at home in a place called the garage, I had a laundry basket full of shoes that I'd moved here and never unpacked along with a gazillion other things.

I decided that my trip to the mall would be for recreation purposes solely and I went to the food court to decide if I was hungry and I was not. Just for practice, I stood in line at McDonald's and when it was my turn I turned and walked away. No one cared! When walking past a Japanese fast food joint, some guy reached out to offer me something and all I could think of was Pearl Harbor! I shook my head no and refused his kindly offer of something he had in his hand that he wanted me to try. Let's face it, if I didn't want a quarter pounder with cheese, I certainly didn't want the unborn fetus that was deep fried or pan seared! I moved on and couldn't help but remember the similar walks down Maxwell Street in Chicago where salesman offered their goods out on the street, trying to hook you into coming into their stores.

I continued my exercise routine with a walk past the Kiosks. As I was walking by, a young girl, about 19 or 20 approached me with something in her hand. She immediately made me think of someone that convinced her parents that college was not in her future and the work field was better suited for her. In her hand was something that looked like a package of Mayonnaise from the McDonald's. Approaching me, she looked right into my eyes and said, "Do you want to see something very interesting"? Before she could finish, I countered with, "This is your lucky day! I'm going to do you a favor!" Confused, she looked into my eyes and asked, what are you going to do? I said, "I was hired by your employer, as a secret shopper. I'm here to ask you questions and see how your performance is and then rate you to him, for business purposes. Are you ready? She nodded her head up and down, to signify yes. Not having anything to use, such as a clip board, I took out my iPhone and began asking questions... WERE YOU GREETED WARMLY and I looked at her, giving her her cue? Yes, she replied WAS THE SALESPERSON ATTENTIVE AND POLITE? Yes, she nodded again! With each answer, I punched my iPhone and watched her smile and make ready for the next question. DID THE SALES PERSON OFFER YOU A FREE SAMPLE OF THE PRODUCT? With that, my little friend wheeled around and grabbed another Mayonnaise. I took it, thanked her and walked away, assuring her that she did just fine! At the next Kiosk, I tried to give the kid my Mayonnaise packet, but he wouldn't take it, How rude!

I left the mall and decided I was a little hungry by then. I stopped at Jack in the Box and ordered a Chipolte chicken sandwich, full knowing that it is no longer on the menu. The kid that worked there told me he could make me one by ordering a number 10, but hold the Mayo (I'd had my fill of Mayo for one day) and use Chpolte' sauce instead! Turns out he was a cook too! I let him order it that way and I waited about 3 minutes for my custom sandwich. When I picked it up, he had given me a large french fry, because I told him, he'd obviously had cooking lessons. That's probably where he'd lost that front tooth. As I ate my spicy special order, I noticed that every business has a little world of people that frequent it. I watched a man walk into the place, but go right to the rest room. Entering, he was wearing a black suit and black tie, making me think he was either an undertaker or drove a limo. When he exited, he wore Levi's and a sport shirt, carrying his suit in his hands. Must have been going to his second job..

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