Sunday, February 10, 2008

The Sweater...

Last night I had the good fortune of being invited over to the home of St. Jules for dinner and conversation. I hadn't seen Jules all week, although she did help me pick up a car that I had bought and we had lunch together at the Knocked Kneed Lobster, a favorite of mine.

Being a single guy, I NEVER go shopping for clothes anymore and my selection of fresh duds is pathetically low. Last year, I accidentally bought lo rise bell bottomed jeans and when I saw what I'd brought home and paid top dollar for, I was too embarrassed to wear them. Hey, I'm 61! Desperately rummaging through my drawers, I find a sweater that has been in my drawer for over 15 years when I bought this house and I'm not quite sure it was EVER mine, but more likely it belonged to my son Brad who didn't want it and just donated it to the drawer. I tried it on and it fit, what the hell? I wore it along with my bell bottoms and a burgundy turtleneck t-shirt. I probably never mentioned it to anyone, but I'm color blind and have been for all of my life. Not with all colors, but the greens and grays look alike and the red rocks of Sedona look kind of tan to me, no big whoop. I never knew what all the excitement was about Sedona. One time I bought a titty pink, Mary Kay Cadillac, thinking it was beige! I thought the sweater was blue, cuz who in their right mind in this family would buy me a green sweater knowing that I can't even see it? So, I put on my Kelly green sweater along with my burgundy turtle neck and my bell bottoms and head over to Julie's house for what turns out to be steak and crab legs, one of my favorites, along with asparagus spears and a dipping sauce and giant chocolate covered strawberries.

When I first walked in, with my jacket still on, Julie expressed her delight about me wearing bell bottoms with a 2 inch zipper and frankly I wasn't sure it was going to do the job! She said I was for once "in style" and looked good. That's when I took off my jacket and all hell broke loose. Not to say that the Lovely Jules is critical of fashion, but she yelled at me, "How old is that sweater"? Just then I walked over and offered Jules a hug, which she graciously accepted and when I pulled away, she must have seen the fright on my face! Half of the fuzzies of my crew necked, cable stitched sweater was now attached to her perfectly pressed linen blouse. You know, one of the new styles that the girls wear with the fake skirt hanging off the bottom and they wear them with slacks underneath? Hell, it might even have been a full dress? Well, this dress was now covered with Kelly green fuzzies and I mean all over her. All she did was stare at me as I took off the sweater and tossed it into her garbage can, expressing my apologies. She had me on my hands and knees with a paper towel cleaning up the mess that my sweater left, how embarrassing. She kept screaming that she had just mopped the floor!

The longer that people our age date, the more of our "stuff" ends up at the other's house. The Lovely Jules told me that I have shirts in the back of her closet, who knew? I found an old prison issue denim shirt that Jules wore home one day and I was dressed in fashion for the evening. The dinner was delicious and the company even better. I drove home around midnight amongst the drunks wondering where that sweater ever came from and what to do with the other one that's STILL in the drawer?


1 comment:

C.A. said...

Youre not going to make the cover of GQ with that garb, Mel. Frankly, I now understand why Julie is dubbed "St. Jules". I am imagining those low rise jeans...dear Lord!