Well, this has been a really big day for the dating guy. I haven't won an argument, disagreement, fight or battle since the first day I laid eyes on the first person that looked different than a man, and namely a woman. I just always lose. Today that all changed for me. I now have joined the ranks of the people known as winners! That's right, I AM A WINNER! Say it loud and say it proud. Here's how it all culminated.
The phone rang bright and early this morning and awakened me to an African-American woman screaming into my ear piece, "Mista Visha, you potassium levels are high and you gonna have ta go and get you blood rechecked to see ifin it's right"! After gathering my thoughts and determining that this is NOT a really harsh dream, I replied, "Why don't we just assume the levels are correct and give me the medicine that I use to lower it"? This is not the first time this has happened. This time, screaming into her mouthpiece, I can almost see her head going from side to side and using that single finger up in the air, she tells me as loudly as possible that my doctor is overseas and she can't call him to see if that's okay. Again my mind is required to read between the African-American lines and determine she is trying to legally cover her ass. If I die between now and when my doctor returns from his monthly vacation to Romania. She can say to the judge that she was trying to determine if the reading was correct. This time, with my deepest, most authoritative husky morning voice, I ORDER her to have another doctor from the 45 doctor staff, call me please. She hung up on me. Twenty minutes later, a woman with a Hispanic accent calls me and says, Dr. Jones ordered you the medicine you requested, what is the number of your pharmacy?..................... Win Number 1!!! Yes....
I had a charming day, chatting with perspective dates for the dating guy, after a quick trip to Costco to get the Dynamic Duo food for the next few weeks. At some point I checked my mail and there was a letter from American Express, not a bill, not an advertisement, but a real letter and it was addressed to me. Because I didn't bring my reading glasses to the mailbox, it's futile to try to read it right there, like the neighbors that park their big SUVs blocking the mailbox and reading their mail (pet peeve #34304948).
If you read yesterday's post, you know that some months ago, I ordered Viagra online and the Chinese company that masqueraded itself as Canadian Pharmacy, took my $150 that I cheated out of perspective car buyers and extracted it though my American Express credit card. I in turn received funny looking little pills that were misshapen and had the word "VAG" written on them in a clear plastic bag. According to the waiter at my favorite Chinese Restaurant, they were vitamins and to only take one... I contested this charge with AE and today I received the letter that I've been waiting for, declaring me the WINNER! They agreed with me and the money has been transferred back into my account. Win Number 2!!! Yea!!!!!!
The Dating Guy
7/14/08
The phone rang bright and early this morning and awakened me to an African-American woman screaming into my ear piece, "Mista Visha, you potassium levels are high and you gonna have ta go and get you blood rechecked to see ifin it's right"! After gathering my thoughts and determining that this is NOT a really harsh dream, I replied, "Why don't we just assume the levels are correct and give me the medicine that I use to lower it"? This is not the first time this has happened. This time, screaming into her mouthpiece, I can almost see her head going from side to side and using that single finger up in the air, she tells me as loudly as possible that my doctor is overseas and she can't call him to see if that's okay. Again my mind is required to read between the African-American lines and determine she is trying to legally cover her ass. If I die between now and when my doctor returns from his monthly vacation to Romania. She can say to the judge that she was trying to determine if the reading was correct. This time, with my deepest, most authoritative husky morning voice, I ORDER her to have another doctor from the 45 doctor staff, call me please. She hung up on me. Twenty minutes later, a woman with a Hispanic accent calls me and says, Dr. Jones ordered you the medicine you requested, what is the number of your pharmacy?..................... Win Number 1!!! Yes....
I had a charming day, chatting with perspective dates for the dating guy, after a quick trip to Costco to get the Dynamic Duo food for the next few weeks. At some point I checked my mail and there was a letter from American Express, not a bill, not an advertisement, but a real letter and it was addressed to me. Because I didn't bring my reading glasses to the mailbox, it's futile to try to read it right there, like the neighbors that park their big SUVs blocking the mailbox and reading their mail (pet peeve #34304948).
If you read yesterday's post, you know that some months ago, I ordered Viagra online and the Chinese company that masqueraded itself as Canadian Pharmacy, took my $150 that I cheated out of perspective car buyers and extracted it though my American Express credit card. I in turn received funny looking little pills that were misshapen and had the word "VAG" written on them in a clear plastic bag. According to the waiter at my favorite Chinese Restaurant, they were vitamins and to only take one... I contested this charge with AE and today I received the letter that I've been waiting for, declaring me the WINNER! They agreed with me and the money has been transferred back into my account. Win Number 2!!! Yea!!!!!!
The Dating Guy
7/14/08
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