Restaurant Review...

I got hired by a friend to be a companion to her when she reviews restaurants. This could be the best job I've ever had. I get to eat for free and complain about all the stuff that doesn't go the way it's supposed to. Usually, I just get told to shut up and eat, but now suddenly there is an audience to listen. The only person that has a better job than me, is my friend that hired me. She gets money for eating and taking me along. I'm currently trying to talk her into sharing the money, but I'm afraid it's not going well...

Our first venture went something like this:

We rendezvoused at Schlemiels Pizzeria (not the actual name) shortly before noon and I remarked that the place was empty. Upon entering, I felt like we had entered a cafeteria, due to the way it was presented. After looking up to a giant menu, we made our choices and approached a youthful girl about 18 and ordered.

I asked for a sliced sausage pizza.

She replied, you mean a sausage pizza?

Don't you have sliced sausage?

What's that, she replied?

I'll just take your sausage pizza then.

My friend ordered a turkey salad and 2 drinks for us and the girl spouted $22.73 without looking up. We looked at each other, because it was obvious she cared little about us as customers, but was going through the steps of her job. We were handed 2 plastic cups and the number 14 and were seated in hard plastic booths, similar to the ones at fast food restaurants, McDonald's, Burger King etc...

Before we chose seating, a youthful lady that was the expediter threw us a friendly smile, making me think the knew my friend, but quickly looked away and went back to her job distributing food. Ah, the manager.

I think we supposed to have more interaction with the employees, but no one was wearing their mandatory name tags and after the young girl took our $22.73, there was no more employee contact until............"are you finished with that"?


The clientele was extremely diversified, ranging from people from the neighborhood, to business people from downtown, to walk-in traffic. The place filled up in no time and was extremely crowded. Our soft drinks were from a machine that we operated ourselves and there were employees standing around talking to one another and we really couldn't figure out their jobs. Someone came by and took our emptied plates after asking if we were through. The food was under par in both quality and volume and my reaction was to not return unless it was once again FREE!

Mel, (You'll never figure out who my friend is).
9/18/08