Monday, June 29, 2009

Full of Hot Air...

After not awakening until about 10 AM, I drank coffee and took care of a few things around the house. I can't imagine anything needing attention since I haven't left this place since Friday afternoon. At 12:30 the phone rang and it was the Lovely Jules, just inquiring as to whether or not I was a full blown agoraphobic? Although I didn't need to look it up, I kind of thought it was one of those people that never leaves the house. In an effort to break me out of this joint, she lured me over with teases of delightful entertainment, exotic foods and charming company. Although I told her no, after hanging up I decided to venture out into the 108 degree temps to experience life and drove over. Unknown to many people, we have synchronized our garage door openers to the same code, for easy access without the need for a key. This is left over from a more romantic time in our lives. Pulling into her driveway, my garage door opener wouldn't work on her garage, since she was secured inside her house for the heat of the day. I tried my key, but it also failed reducing me to a bell ringer. I think it was the 5th ring that finally brought her to the door to see who was so persistent.
Whipping open the door she exclaimed, "What the hell are you doing here? Come on in." I did. Her house was exactly like my house. Clean except for her station on the sofa and her coffee table that was completely covered with paraphernalia for her work. Two laptops, Ipod, 3 glasses of various depths of drinks, a dirty plate that recently held a salad and Paw-paw, her $5 dog. Paw-paw seemed a lot more excited to see me than LJ, frankly. I hadn't been around since before the new carpeting and that's seemingly a long time. We did our immediate hellos and settled down on the sofa for an afternoon of rented movies.
After pushing all of the appropriate buttons on her remote, we were privileged to watch that Brad Pitt movie, where he's born an old man and lives his life backwards, eventually dying as a new born. Although the movie was good, it was probably better watched backwards. It appears that the people that we grow older with are important to us and to watch them get younger is downright insulting! Picture a couple that turns 55 around the same time and she decides to get a face lift. She kind of takes off for the fountain of youth and leaves him behind.......wrinkled. That's what happens in this movie. Brad Pitt is about 45 years old when he impregnates his girlfriend, who is 43. She gives birth and her birth father slowly becomes his daughter's age. Very confusing.
Eventually this long movie, that was really quite entertaining is over and the Bachelorette comes on and I'm told to either shut up or leave because this is serious business. God Bless testosterone, I left!
At about 8:30 PM, I opened my door and suddenly the exact thing happened that every Phoenician fears the most. I was hit in the face with a blast of hot air, that was the absence of my air conditioning. OH GOD NO!!!
My first thought was to call 911, but reminded myself that wasn't the type of emergency they deal with. I then called the Lovely Jules to report my bad luck. She had a few suggestions and finished with I could always come back to sleep at her house in the spare room. I told her "nice try" and said I'd call her back.
I'd been complaining about the shitty filter I let some repair guy sell me that takes all day to remove, clean, dry and reinstall and that I hadn't cleaned it since before the dogs left me and it was clearly time. Sure enough, it was plugged up with dirt and that was my problem. As I sit here typing away, it's come down from 85 to 80 already.
Thank goodness, because LJ SNORES!

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