Thursday, April 8, 2010

Dating Report...

" Call Lerner and Rowe, It's the Place to go"

It's been awhile since I've posted anything, I've been scrambling things up in my life to create some exciting times. So far, nothing great to report. This morning I got a chain email from a woman that I went out with once last year, who was so stoned on pot, I was reluctant to let her out of my house without supervision. Evidently she made it home to wait 365 days and then send me a chain email about our federal government. DELETE!

Then there is an old woman of 70 that lied and created a personality that was allegedly 57. My keen eye and research abilities delivered the bad news to me in short form, of her lying soul. She continues to write to me asking forgiveness, blaming the people at who TOLD her to do it that way. Right, as if they actually talk to you instead of offering you a place to "CLICK"? Typically, nothing is her fault and she really looks like her photo if I still want to go out with her lying ass.

Here is my concern about "her". If she lied about being a full 13 years younger than her true age, is she really a woman? DELETE!

Next is a 51 year old woman that winked at me. The purpose of the "WINK" is to let a perspective gentleman know that a lady is interested in him. It's for the less than articulate, as this woman more than proved. We emailed back and forth, to and fro, up and back, depending upon which part of the country you're from. She was informative, but boring. Her profile on Match was sooo boring, I didn't bother finishing it, which turned out to be a mistake. In the second to the last line of her profile, and I'm talking about waaaay at the bottom of the page, it said that since she only looks 51, she used that age, but she's really 61. Kiss my truthful ass again! Before reading her true age, I had already spoken with her on the telephone and I found that conversation, horribly painful. She was one of those women that doesn't take her turn in a conversation and just leaves dead air when it's her turn to comment. After 35 grueling minutes, I told her I'd plan a date for us. Then I read her true age and DELETE!

As a boy, I liked to fish. I'd put my line in the water and troll for a fish. Trolling is to just leave your line in the water and slowly move your boat forward and pretty soon, if you're lucky, fish will follow your bate. Well, that's what I do on "Plenty of Fish" dating site. I just go online and pretty soon women in the 65 to 75 age group follow my bait and write me emails that are usually about 4 words long. Like, "I like your humor"! Usually these women are between 65 and 75 and overweight and leaning on a truck. How attractive! Posing is an important part of taking a picture. Some women decide that laying on the ground looks enticing to a man. All we really see is an accident victim. I referred one woman to "Lerner and Rowe", as the place to go!

I did have a drink date with Linda, who lives in my old neighborhood. She's a PHD and currently in Washington DC, giving a seminar for heads of the research departments at various colleges across the country, that do cancer research. She'll be back on the 12th of April and we're supposed to get together again then. She's REALLY 57, I made her show ID's. Linda's 5' 6" and 125 LBS and runs for exercise. I'll keep you posted...


Anonymous said...

Yeah! A real woman, a fabulous age for you and a second date! You hang in there, cutie! You can still lure them in...XOXX (NMS)

Jamie said...

I found your blog through Jules - and I love it! I will be back, you make me laugh. :)