Saturday, October 11, 2008

Life of a Retired Car Salesman...

(For Sale 1993 Buick Le Sabre $2995, 602 643-6200)
I advertised a car online today and as soon as I finished writing the ad and cleaning up the car, I got a call from a gentleman that was interested in purchasing it. Keep in mind I've done this a lot of times over the past 35 years and this is not my first time to the rodeo. First let me describe the car. It's a 1993 Le Sabre Custom with only 89,000 miles on it and it was a one owner from our Sun City area that is known for pristine flawlessly cared for cars. It's the original paint and the interior is virtually unscathed and never smoked in. It is as nice a car as I've seen in many years, with a carpeted dash and a little fuzzy steering wheel cover. The tires are new and it does have a crack in the lens that covers the right front headlight and a crack in the windshield. For this fully loaded masterpiece I'm asking a mere $2995 and remember, I haven't misdescribed this car in the slightest. No leaks, it runs cool and has ice cold air conditioning. When I started it, it fired up like a race horse coming out of the chute. I was even impressed. In addition, I just spent $800 on this car for a new fuel pump and an air mass control meter, to insure that it would be trouble free.

The guy shows up and he's hauling his fish wife with him that has nothing nice to say about the Dynamic Duo that are there to welcome them in front of the house and unleashed and loose. (The dogs, not the fish wife) After making some niceties, I decided I didn't like this pair of losers. He, was all knowing and kicked my tires, while making faces of disapproval. He asked if they could take it for a ride and I said, of course. I should have gone with, if only to make sure they didn't siphon out the gas, but chose to stay home with the dogs. They were gone for about 15 minutes, indicating a pretty good test drive. When she got out of the car, I asked if it was wonderful, something I've been asking for many years. It's hard to come out with a bunch of negatives when someone asks if it's wonderful. The fish wife responds with, "It runs like a 93". Now what the hell does that mean? Fish wife immediately vacates the scene and goes to sit in their lower middle class Tauras, while macho man does his magic on me. I can see this has been rehearsed. Here's the story. His son just totalled his car and the insurance company has given him $2000 for his wreck. In view of the fact that my car is literally falling apart and it will take thousands to put it back into the shape it rightfully belongs in, how close to $2000 can I get in the price? Here are the things he listed that it needed. Shocks. (They haven't used shocks on cars on many years, they use struts now) The tires, although new are going to dry rot here as a result of not being driven regularly. He priced a new windshield at $300 and I buy them new and installed for $100. Then the cracked head lite cover suddenly became a head light assembly and went into the hundreds too. I responded that cars now cost somewhere between $30,000 and $50,000 now and this one that is really pretty nice is only $3000. I CAN sell it for any price I want, but $3000 seems pretty fair to me. That pissed off Macho fish boy and he joined his fish wife in their fish car and drove to their fish home to discuss what an asshole I was, I'm sure.

Here's the secret. If he had told me that it was for his kid and he's a pretty good kid and can use a break occasionally, I would have made sure that one way or another he would have bought that car. He just used the wrong tactics. Retirement has it's rewards and telling Macho fish boy no, was certainly one of them.

Mel
10/11/08

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