At the end of this story, I'm intending on creating the moral to the story, so pay attention.
One day, a couple of years ago, I was cruising along on my dating service, when I came across a rather unpleasant looking woman named Lori Picklestein. Suddenly I saw that she was of the Jewish religion and probably out of guilt, because I'm originally Jewish too, I wrote to her. I also wrote to 12 other women that day, but she was the only one that responded. Initially, she was pleasant enough, but after I got to know her, I found her condescending, rude, arrogant and otherwise very unpleasant. Frankly, she had that Jewish, holier than thou, attitude. My first date with Lori, I took her to my favorite Chinese restaurant and even told her that it wasn't fancy, but the food is great. She belittled the place and made me feel bad for choosing it. The next time we were to go out to eat, she mentioned some place and I inquired about it. She remarked to me with her NY Jewess accent, "All you know is that crappy Chinese place of yours". Again I was offended and said nothing. The place she dragged is to was in the high rent area and cost me $65 for a shitty lunch.
That's right around the time that Lori told me that she had plans for the weekend and wouldn't be able to see me. Now I already told you that Lori wasn't too pretty. In fact she was downright ugly.........and old. She finally told me that she lied about her age and she was about 5 years older than she claimed, making her 58 or so. Lori's face had begun to fall off of her bone structure. The lines around her mouth were screaming to be heard and I could hear them. Eventually she disclosed to me that she was busy this weekend getting a mini face lift. I told her not to and she was very nice to me all of a sudden. But she never really let me finish what I wanted to say. What I wanted to say was, don't get a mini face life, it will never be enough! What about those deep wrinkles around your eyes??? So Lori went ahead and had her mini face lift, just the way she did everything, as cheaply as possible. She drove a used, cheap Mercedes that was falling apart and kept referring to her Mercedes like it was something special and she had a mini face lift that made her look better from the mouth to the mid throat. I spoke with her once after her surgery and she made it seem like she had just gone through brain surgery. Eventually I said to her that I went through open heart surgery and didn't complain as much as you. That's when she hung up on me and I felt like I passed a kidney stone. What a relief? I never had to deal with that miserable woman again, or so I thought.
Last week I wrote to a woman that said in her bio that she was a Jewess and was from Chicago. Again, I was originally Jewish and am from Chicago. I wrote to her and we chatted and made arrangements to meet and I eventually learned that her last name was Picklestein. What in the world were the chances? She was the sister-in-law of the mini face lift and told me that she spoke with her sister-in-law and it's not a good idea to meet after all.
The moral to my story is, never let an ugly woman know that a mini face lift is not going to be enough, if you want to sleep with her sister-in-law! Who knew?
One day, a couple of years ago, I was cruising along on my dating service, when I came across a rather unpleasant looking woman named Lori Picklestein. Suddenly I saw that she was of the Jewish religion and probably out of guilt, because I'm originally Jewish too, I wrote to her. I also wrote to 12 other women that day, but she was the only one that responded. Initially, she was pleasant enough, but after I got to know her, I found her condescending, rude, arrogant and otherwise very unpleasant. Frankly, she had that Jewish, holier than thou, attitude. My first date with Lori, I took her to my favorite Chinese restaurant and even told her that it wasn't fancy, but the food is great. She belittled the place and made me feel bad for choosing it. The next time we were to go out to eat, she mentioned some place and I inquired about it. She remarked to me with her NY Jewess accent, "All you know is that crappy Chinese place of yours". Again I was offended and said nothing. The place she dragged is to was in the high rent area and cost me $65 for a shitty lunch.
That's right around the time that Lori told me that she had plans for the weekend and wouldn't be able to see me. Now I already told you that Lori wasn't too pretty. In fact she was downright ugly.........and old. She finally told me that she lied about her age and she was about 5 years older than she claimed, making her 58 or so. Lori's face had begun to fall off of her bone structure. The lines around her mouth were screaming to be heard and I could hear them. Eventually she disclosed to me that she was busy this weekend getting a mini face lift. I told her not to and she was very nice to me all of a sudden. But she never really let me finish what I wanted to say. What I wanted to say was, don't get a mini face life, it will never be enough! What about those deep wrinkles around your eyes??? So Lori went ahead and had her mini face lift, just the way she did everything, as cheaply as possible. She drove a used, cheap Mercedes that was falling apart and kept referring to her Mercedes like it was something special and she had a mini face lift that made her look better from the mouth to the mid throat. I spoke with her once after her surgery and she made it seem like she had just gone through brain surgery. Eventually I said to her that I went through open heart surgery and didn't complain as much as you. That's when she hung up on me and I felt like I passed a kidney stone. What a relief? I never had to deal with that miserable woman again, or so I thought.
Last week I wrote to a woman that said in her bio that she was a Jewess and was from Chicago. Again, I was originally Jewish and am from Chicago. I wrote to her and we chatted and made arrangements to meet and I eventually learned that her last name was Picklestein. What in the world were the chances? She was the sister-in-law of the mini face lift and told me that she spoke with her sister-in-law and it's not a good idea to meet after all.
The moral to my story is, never let an ugly woman know that a mini face lift is not going to be enough, if you want to sleep with her sister-in-law! Who knew?
Mel
10/2/08
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