Sunday, May 10, 2009

Here Comes Trouble...

This has been a very strange weekend, so far... Friday started out like any other day, but with a lot of early morning emails from potential dates and a couple of friends. I can't explain why, maybe the stars were aligned just right, or my "good karma" was finally responding, but I was contacted by 20 different women on the POF dating site and another 4 or 5 on Match.com and a certified offer on my awful Toyota, Echo. Well a man can take only so much. I'm not attached to anyone, I've been seeing Jan a couple of times, but we're certainly not exclusive, so the new one that I settled on is Marie.

Before I go forward with my description, I'd like to explain a little something about Jan. Although she's a very charming girl and pretty and quick and steady, I'm just not feeling it. You know that feeling that you get when you're dying to jump someones bones. It ain't happening. I've been with Jan twice now and she's been receptive and we've been alone at my house, without even dogs to interrupt, like they used to and I stay away because she just doesn't do it for me. Sadly, that's terminal. Jan left her shoes at my house, so I guess I'll be seeing her at least one more time, but that's it.

Now for Marie: She's 51 years old and contacted me. The first 2 things that I noticed about her slowed me down to almost a halt. First, the oldest man that she wants to meet is 55 and I'm still 63 and second, she's "separated". To me that's the kiss of death. Dating a woman that's still married can get you killed. Can you imagine being in a bedroom situation and her husband walking in claiming his wife? Well, unless he was really short and funny looking, you could really be in trouble. So before going forward with Marie, I asked for an explanation. It seems to me that I just went through that scenario with someone and would NEVER do it again. Can you imagine the 3 AM phone calls telling me she wanted to kill herself and waiting for another divorce date, like it was your own only to go through that anticlimactic event.

So Marie explained to me that her husband and she have been separated for 9 years, he lives and works in Taiwan and has had a girlfriend there for that entire 9 years. They have a family and 3 grown children. A 21 year old girl and twin 18 year old sons, one of which is severely autistic. Staying married provides for the children's insurance and frankly, it all makes sense. Marie is a nurse and is from England and I never knew an English accent turned me on until I spoke with her last night for 2 hours. Marie likes to swear a little in her general conversation and I didn't know that turned me on with an English accent either. I think we were about o have phone sex when suddenly I realized that was a bad way to start a relationship. That's when Marie laid the bad news on me. With a very serious low voice and her volume dropped to a lower level too. She said, "You know I have a very strong sexual appetite, is that going to be a problem for you?" That's around the time I told her I needed cold water, not to drink but to sprinkle on myself. Sarcastically, I explained it was a real "deal breaker". Marie lives about 10 minutes away and should provide some interesting stories. The thing I like about her best is, she sounds like trouble and I like that!
Happy Mother's Day!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OMG, just the kind of fun you need! You go, honey!! NMStewart