Monday, May 11, 2009

I'm Programmed...

84 is my daytime temperature

About 8 years ago, I needed to replace my upstairs thermostat. At the time, I had Dave, the Narcotics Anonymous guy that would come and do work on the side for me. Dave worked for a big heating and air conditioning contractor whose office, it just so happened, was located across from mine. So, whenever I needed any AC or plumbing, or electrical work done, Dave was my man. For $50 Dave could do anything. Who wouldn't LOVE having a Dave around, instead of calling some expensive repair guy? Well, the drugs got too important once again and Dave couldn't handle the pressure of everyday life and committed suicide. Dave was truly missed.

Shortly after Dave installed my new thermostat, he gestured and said, you can program it yourself and took the fifty and split. But I couldn't! Eight years went by and every time I needed to get ready for bed, I had to remember to go upstairs and hand change the thermostat to cool down the bedroom and every morning I had to remember to raise the temp to 84 for the day, because who can afford to cool an upstairs all day that's going to be unoccupied? Every year I'd say, this is going to be the year that I attempt it, but never did. Until Sunday! First, let me say that I always knew exactly where the instructions were, but I also knew my ability level at such things. Sunday, I grabbed my glasses, intentionally left the air at 78 so I'd have a nice cool environment while cramming the rules of engineering into my pea sized brain. Opening the instruction booklet reminded me of what the engineers went through when the space shuttle needed to be constructed. My head started to hurt almost immediately. Press program, hold for 3 seconds being careful not to hold it for 5 seconds as that will clear the system, Holy SHIT!

Thirty minutes later, I found myself hitting resume, as that would activate my schedule. Although I was pretty sure I'd gotten it right, it wasn't until last night that I heard the friendly hum of my air conditioning come on all by itself. I ran upstairs to confirm it wasn't my imagination and there she was just-a-cooling away. I programmed it to go OFF at 9 AM, so when I awakened at 7, I went straight to the showers, knowing I wouldn't have all day to clean my dirty body. Cause I'M ON A SCHEDULE!

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